SUCKS!!
Just thought I’d share! 😛
Being in a Wheel-Chariot…
Category: Health
Charlie Sheen…
An act or a man spiraling out of control?
Here is a man with the World at his fingertips. Here is a man with an amazing talent and intelligence. So, why is he using it as a circus side-show. WINNING! Really, are you Charlie? Most people are getting a huge laugh out of his condemnation of others, out of his egotistical rants, out of his crazy rhetoric. But really, is it funny? Or is it a sad tale of someone losing his mind one day a time? Or, riddle me this, is it a man acting and using his abilities to draw a crowd. Let’s face it, his show was good, but did anyone really care about him anymore? Is this his way of getting back in to the spotlight?
He is an actor people. Is this an act? Part of me hopes that it is an act. I would hate to watch another human being, or rock star from Mars, as he calls himself, spiral out of control for the World to watch.
He is acting like a spoiled baby. He has it all… a nice home, health, children, a nice bank account and here is his acting out. I’m embarrassed for him. What I would give to have his talent and his physical health, shit his money. I could live a much more comfortable life with my Disease having all he has.He acts as though his life is so tough. Get over yourself Charlie!!
I listen to him trashing other addict/alcoholics. My husband is one of them. He is clean and sober 13 years thanks to AA. And if you are going to rag on any organization, have the facts Charlie. Only 5% of AA members are helped. Give me a break. If that was the case AA would have been gone years ago. It’s all about, take what you like and leave the rest. In his videos he is ancy and jittery. What is he on? ‘Drug tests don’t lie’… depends on what you were tested on Charlie.
He has no idea of reality. He lives in another world from the majority and he is complaining about people that he feels have done him wrong. He is taking no responsibility for his own actions. He is a poster child for an addict. Not a recovering one either. DUH!
Bottom line, Charlie if you are Winning… I’ll take losing any day! Get help dude, before it is too late!
Here I sit…
broken hearted… lmao!! No, not going there!! This is not a public restroom wall!
Seriously, here I sit at my laptop updating, playing in FB, getting iTunes ready for hubbies new iPhone. I just did the kids breakfast dishes and got some jewelry things cleaned. Now what? I’m staring at my blog screen with nothing. Roger will sometimes ask me what I’m doing. Well, just ran a marathon, went grocery shopping, took the kids here and there, did laundry, etc. Then we just laugh. I used to do all of this, minus the marathon! lol I so miss doing all the boring irritating things.
So, here I sit deciding what wonderful things to do. I can go back to bed and watch tv, or go sit in my cool lift-chair and watch tv. Or, I can sit at my design table and play on my computer. hmmmmmm Decisions, decisions. I think I’ll go medicate and lie in my lift-chair and watch movies or something. Oh the life a cripple!!
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!
Money, Money, Money…
They say money can’t buy you love, happiness, etc. I beg to differ, but not in the way most would think.
In my situation money would buy ‘comfort’. Money will not cure me, but it would make my life and my families much easier. You see the stars with MS and other chronic illness’. Montel has his own cook, nutritionist, physical therapist, child-care. Trust me, if I had that it would make life much easier and less stressful. So in this case, money would buy ‘comfort’! Most of he people on these shows with chronic illness depict the success stories. The ones who run the marathons etc. Their MS is the less severe form, and being in remission is a great thing and I am happy for them. But, where are the stories of the those with the severe forms, who have families and live on modest incomes with no extras like a cook, a nutritionist. You get the idea.
There are treatments out there that insurance will not cover, so in those cases money would buy me better health care.
Not sure where this is coming from tonight… maybe because I tried to take a shower in my partly done shower and realized it is not going to make that much of a difference. Roger got the seat and a couple of bars installed, which help. But I have to be careful as it is not all grouted and we have to be sure the water does not get all over the place. The shower itself was fabulous the aftermath, not so much. I am coming to the realization that even bars and a higher chair do not help me get up. My legs are near useless and I sat there and cried, why??? This was not supposed to be my life. Why not strike those who commit heinous crimes and those who do to want to be a giving part of society. WHY? And yes it is my right to ask why. There is no reason for this. I did nothing to deserve this, as many of my friends did nothing to deserve their illness’. So why?
I’m not naive and I know there is no answer for this question.
I sit here, again, wondering if I will be able to get in to my bed tonight. Will I be able to get up easier in the morning? I know these answers will not be ones I want to hear. I hate feeling this way. I am no quitter nor am I a whiner. But as of late I read people complaining about their colds and allergies and runny noses and want to scream at them, “Your piss ant issue will go away, mine wont!! So shut the fuck up and get over it!!” And that is not me either. I hate being this bitter, this angry. I think from all the times I hold it in, it is finally too much to take.
I’m lost and am slipping away from me more and more and I’m scared…
As Always…
Bringing in 2011
I haven’t blogged much as of late… not much to say.
This past year has been one of those roller-coaster rides you just want to get off. A not-so-fabulous hellish hospital stay, a few bad MS months, the waiting for the shower to be done, and just normal FML things.
But…
There is also the roller-coaster rides you never want to end. The love and support shown during and after my hellish hospital stay and during the bad MS months. Thanks to a couple of Angels, we are debt free and finally getting caught up. [so hoping the other shoe does not drop] I know, pessimism at its finest. I’m trying, lol
This year has also brought true friendships to light and I am so blessed with them. And yes, you know who you are. 
I have no resolutions as I never keep them. I just hope for my MS to slow down before it puts me in a home. But, if the home is in an asylum, I might find it kind of cool. Free meds… need I say more. Wonder if they have wireless access…
So, I really don’t have much to say yet again.
I just wanted to wish all my family, friends, and anyone who needs a wish, A very happy and wonderful 2011. May all your dreams come true.
One lil thing too, remember to be a bit kinder and caring to those who may be struggling in their life. We never know what smiles may be hiding…
Ampyra and other mindless thoughts
After being off the Ampyra for 2 weeks thanks to the prescription insurance buffoons, I finally got back on. The weird thing is I felt better being off of it than being back on it. I actually had more leg strength when off it then i do now. hmmmmm Makes me think may not be the right medication for MY PPMS! If I do not notice any real differences in the next couple of months, I’m done!!
Now the prescription ins people, CVS Caremark, are denying me a medication they approved for me for the past two years. WTF, Really!! So now i get the fun task of calling them and letting them have it! Greedy bastards!!
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I added some new things to my sale items sections, and all kinds of new glass pendant necklaces, my newest love, to the shop. I am finding that when I am at my design table and making new pieces, it helps keep away those depression gremlins.
Keep an eye out for more ‘fun’ discount codes as December arrives. You’ll be able to save up to 20%.
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If I’m not back by Thursday, Happy Thanksgiving, to all who celebrate.
Criptastic!!!
That’s what I am!! lol The past few days I have felt accomplished. Each morning after the kids leave for school, I’m up and washing the dishes, tidying up, etc.. Some may say, “Big Deal, ooh you tidied up”! Well it is a big deal. Dishes take a lot out of me. Trying to reach up and over the sink to get all the plates, silverware, and glassware is tiring. It’s amazing how a dish can feel like a 20 pound weight. I have bruising on the upper back of my arms from the counter. But, to me it shows I’m moving and trying to do things. I’m slowly trying to de-clutter. It’s all about baby steps. After getting all the dishes done and things straightened, I’m ready for a nap. 😛 When I was well, my house was spit-spot. You could eat off the floors. Now, not so much. One of my OCD issues I have had to learn to deal with… slowly but surely.
I’ve been on the Ampyra for almost one month. I’d like to say I’m running marathons, but not yet. Ok, never ran them when I was well either! 😉 Do I notice anything different, better? I want to say that it seems easier to rise up from my chair to transfer, but I’m afraid if I do I’ll jinx it. I am going to get out my walker tonight when the hubby comes home and try to at least use it to get to and from the tinkletorium. Wish me luck!! I have not been able to use it since my Hell Hospital stay. That place fuckered me up. But, it would take a lot more than those fools to keep me down!!
Todays Show – The Padded Room
We had a great time on the show today. One of our fabulous friends, Cristen aka crisastbury4, called in and we had a great chat! Shemar Moore was our ‘Hottie of the Week’. He is fine!!
Next week, we hope to have Shad Bradley on our show! [schedules willing] A little bit about Shad [borrowed from his FB bio]:
Shad’s “have drums will travel” attitude has earned him the nickname,”Shad Samsonite!” His Vegas – style stickwork adds a visual aspect that can’t be ignored! Among numerous television and radio appearances, he has appeared live and/or recorded with: Travis Tritt, Jefferson Thomas, Atlanta Rhythm Section, Reba McEntire, Derek St. Holmes (Ted Nugent), Jeff Cook (Alabama), Diane Michel, William Lee Golden (Oak Ridge Boys), Johnny Van Zant (Lynyrd Skynyrd), Mark Wills, Don Dokken, Jimmie Hall (Wet Willie), The Bama Band (Hank Williams Jr.), Derek Trucks (Allman Bros.), & M.C. Hammer! He has also been featured in Modern Drummer and Science of Mind Magazines.
To hear a bit more about Shad, click on our show pic above and listen to the shows archives.
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We also talked today about the building of the Mosque near Ground Zero. And it gets a big “0” from Ruby and me. I get religious freedom and all, but this is wrong on so many levels. 😦
All in all, it was a great show. Again, click the show pic above to hear the archives of today’s show!
Another day…
The waiting for ‘the better day’ is taking too long. This lingering headache is sofa king annoying and cause me so much stress. The pain in my arms and legs is beginning to really bother me too. I learned last night that my Norco for pain is no longer for me. It helps with the pain in my body, but then cause me chest pains. [esophagus issues] Normally I can take them with no problems as long as I sit up for 30 minutes or so. Now, not so much. Was on the phone with my Ruby girl and had to get off quickly as I thought I was going to be sick. I shut my Mac and put my head down for a bit and the yuck feeling finally went away. Is it too much to ask for just one day of feeling good?
Now, too change the depressing subject… my bathroom is coming along. They finished floating the floor into a ramp for me. I did get a nice laugh this morning as my lil boy Dexter left tiny puppy paw prints in the concrete. 😛 I hope it does not hurt the tile laying! OOPS! lol
As for me, today, it’s going to be a movie day. Need to re-generate. As I type that, I laugh. All I do is movie days and lie down and rest. Such is life right?
Life…
This is NOT my life… where is my real life? If you find it, please reply here with the location.
I realized that I have not been out of my home for over 3 weeks. I just have no desire, no oomph to do anything. I know it’s not about the Ampyra as I’ve only been on that 2.5 weeks. It’s been so hot here and heat is no longer my friend. When I say out of my home, I mean that literally. I look outside, but have not even gone outside. I have no desire, or care much right now to do anything.
All my kids are back in school, hubby working, so I’m alone all day. I do not drive, can’t work, and sometimes I really feel like what’s the point. I have no energy, my fatigue is off the charts. [even with the anti-fatigue meds]
And please, please do NOT say, “It could be worse.” or “You’re only given what you can handle!” BULLSHIT! This is my ‘worse’. I need help to get dressed, to shower, sometimes to eat when I can barely hold the utensils. I wear my pj’s most days all day as by the time I get up everyone is gone, and it takes too much energy to get pants on by myself. Luckily, I love my pj’s and have many sets. I guess unless you ‘roll a mile in my chair’ you’ll never understand. The helplessness, the loneliness, the depression that sets in. Maybe it’s a ‘healthy’ thing. Usually it’s the healthy ones that makes the above statements. Their biggest issue is what to wear, having a busy day, what to cook for dinner, ‘oh damn’ have to drive the kids around, etc. etc. etc!! PLEASE!! I know this to be true as I was once there and took soooo much for granted. Like ….. walking for instance.
I’m tired of always feeling like I have to be shiny happy all the time. My life SUCKS!!! I know, I know, I have a gr8 husband and kids and family and friends…I get that. But, I have no purpose. Without a purpose what’s left. Feeling useless is the most depressing feeling of all. I have not felt like nor have had the energy to make anything for my shop in weeks. My hands cannot hold the tools very well right now. SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! Who really cares anyways.
Blessings and Hope! [still waiting]
Making it Through the Rain 