Craziness · Medical · Ramblings · Sarcasm

Stay the F*CK Inside

OK everyone it’s really not rocket science. I understand that some don’t have the capacity to understand that this is a pandemic. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Say it with me, pan-dem-ic!! Stay the fuck inside!!!

Be part of the solution not the problem!

Science is fact people!!!

#TheVirusIsReal #NotAHoax #Coronavirus #COVID19 #WakeTheFuckUp #ScienceIsReal 

Have courage and be kind. 😏

Music · Ramblings

Anything Worth Holding On To

This is where I am right now. I’m a little bit lost. It’s been a bad couple of nights with no sleep. When that happens my mind goes to very dark places. Last night there was a cross roads and I thankfully took the right path. Unfortunately I’m not sure how strong I am anymore.

I know I shouldn’t complain with everything going on in the world right now, but being trapped at home, being in quarantine, is my life. I want to tell everybody that’s complaining, “welcome to my world!”

And now onto one of my most favorite songs. One of my favorite people, Andrea, a Disney princess in her own right sent this to me. I hope you enjoy. 

Have courage and be kind.

Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Silly

MS Awareness Month day 30

The month is winding down and as we all know it’s been a crazy one. With Covid-19 floating around we all have to be a little extra careful thanks to our wonderful autoimmune disorder. Especially those of you on a DMD, please take extra precautions. My heart, hope, and love is with you all!

And with everything going on, I think we need a little humor from time to time.

Have courage and be kind.

Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Strength

MS Awareness Month day 29

I know that living in the past or thinking about the past is something that we should not resign ourselves to do, but I really do miss who I was before. I was someone who loved working. Grocery shopping, in my book, was one of the best things to do. I know, I’ve never said I wasn’t a little strange. But, laundry is what I really miss doing. And no, I’m totally serious about this. I think it’s all about the fresh smells, the warm clothes right out of the dryer, and even the act of folding things was fun for me. The weird thing is before I never thought about any of these things. I never realized why I did not mind doing these things. So I guess MS has taught me to look at things in a different light, a different perspective. Out of all these things I miss, driving is definitely the one that kicked me down the hardest. Driving was an escape, freedom, something I loved doing. When I lost that privilege, I was broken for quite some time. I could say that I will never drive again because at this point it’s probably true. Instead though, I can keep wishing and hoping that one day I may drive again. Yes, again I’m pretty sure I’ll never drive again, but it’s always so lovely to dream. 🖤

So as I wrote the above I kept thinking to myself, what I really miss is being able to do ‘anything’. We’ve been trying daily for a shower and it still has not worked. I did have a really good bed bath though, so I do get clean. 😇 We are starting slowly with my husband rolling me over on my side for 20 minutes to a half hour. It really fucking hurts, but each time it seems to be getting a little easier so maybe one day it won’t hurt at all. When I talk about what we’re doing my mind starts taking me to that bad place inside that discourages me. The feeling that it’s never gonna happen no matter how slowly we go. I’m thankful that I’m feeling it and acknowledging it straight away, but it’s still scary for me. You see, in my mind, when I see myself I’m not trapped in this bed. I see myself rolling over and sitting up and walking. It’s almost like a dream, but that’s what I see in my mind, my heart. I’m going to keep dreaming and maybe one day it won’t just be a dream.

Have courage and be kind.