Today is the last day of MS awareness month. Please keep doing your part to spread awareness. For those of us with the disease & our families, it’s all year long.
#MSAwareness #MarchIsMSAwarenessMonth #MultipleSclerosis 
Have courage and be kind. 
The month is winding down and as we all know it’s been a crazy one. With Covid-19 floating around we all have to be a little extra careful thanks to our wonderful autoimmune disorder. Especially those of you on a DMD, please take extra precautions. My heart, hope, and love is with you all!
And with everything going on, I think we need a little humor from time to time.

Have courage and be kind.
I know that living in the past or thinking about the past is something that we should not resign ourselves to do, but I really do miss who I was before. I was someone who loved working. Grocery shopping, in my book, was one of the best things to do. I know, I’ve never said I wasn’t a little strange. But, laundry is what I really miss doing. And no, I’m totally serious about this. I think it’s all about the fresh smells, the warm clothes right out of the dryer, and even the act of folding things was fun for me. The weird thing is before I never thought about any of these things. I never realized why I did not mind doing these things. So I guess MS has taught me to look at things in a different light, a different perspective. Out of all these things I miss, driving is definitely the one that kicked me down the hardest. Driving was an escape, freedom, something I loved doing. When I lost that privilege, I was broken for quite some time. I could say that I will never drive again because at this point it’s probably true. Instead though, I can keep wishing and hoping that one day I may drive again. Yes, again I’m pretty sure I’ll never drive again, but it’s always so lovely to dream. 🖤
So as I wrote the above I kept thinking to myself, what I really miss is being able to do ‘anything’. We’ve been trying daily for a shower and it still has not worked. I did have a really good bed bath though, so I do get clean. 😇 We are starting slowly with my husband rolling me over on my side for 20 minutes to a half hour. It really fucking hurts, but each time it seems to be getting a little easier so maybe one day it won’t hurt at all. When I talk about what we’re doing my mind starts taking me to that bad place inside that discourages me. The feeling that it’s never gonna happen no matter how slowly we go. I’m thankful that I’m feeling it and acknowledging it straight away, but it’s still scary for me. You see, in my mind, when I see myself I’m not trapped in this bed. I see myself rolling over and sitting up and walking. It’s almost like a dream, but that’s what I see in my mind, my heart. I’m going to keep dreaming and maybe one day it won’t just be a dream.
Have courage and be kind.
Every person that fights multiple sclerosis is an MS warrior!
Have courage and be kind! 
Oh how I miss the person I used to be.
Have courage and be kind.
Oh my gosh I can’t believe I forgot about yesterday, Day 25. I will kill two birds with one stone. You know what, I kind of hate that sentence. I know I know it’s just an analogy but why would anyone wanna kill two birds with one stone. I know it’s just a saying but that’s how my mind works sometimes. 😂
^^^ yep this right here. The struggle is real. 😜
Have courage and be kind. 🖤
So we’re going to try getting me up in my shower chair. I figure since Independence Blue Cross isn’t going to help me in any way, I’m going to have to do it my damn self. Since the husband has to stay at home right now, I guess it’s the best time to start trying. I won’t lie, I am really scared because I know it’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker. So I’m going to “medicate” 🌿and try to psych myself up for this. It just really sucks that I have to psych myself up to take a shower. I know that some of you reading this completely understand, and I’m so sorry.
I hope that all the movement I’ve been doing on my own will help. I just have to remind myself not to get discouraged if it doesn’t work today. If I keep trying maybe at some point it will work. The worst part about that comment is I’ve been trying on my own for quite some time now and it hasn’t worked. But, maybe, one of these times it will. Oh my gosh I am really nervous about this.
Also, real quick, thank you to all that have stuck by me and supported me even when I go a little mad. 😉 Seriously, thank you 🙏🏻🖤
Have courage and be kind.
