Posts Tagged ‘music’

Story Of The Year – I’m Alive

My amazing daughter Ashley makes me some awesome mixed cd’s. This song resonates deeply with me. It’s about transformation. Don’t want to spoil it for you. It’s a great video and very powerful on all levels for me. While his transformation is not mine [ahem], my MS feels like this to me. It has taken over my body and soul and I’m ‘fighting’ to stay alive in a prison that is my own body.

The words are so powerful!

******************

“I’m Alive”

In the night I sit alone
Lifeless to the world I know
Faith loss long ago
In this graveyard I’m calling home
Carved into the stone
A diary of broken bones and
Words I should’ve known

But this grave’s too deep to ever make it up
I’d do anything, anything
Just to feel like I could reach the ground
I’d do anything, anything now
To spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound

I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So drag my lungs into the ground
Lay me down

In the night I sit alone
The stars rain on the world below
Beg me to explode
But these dreams I keep are nowhere to be found
I’d do anything, anything just to stop
This weight from pressing down
I’d do anything anything now
To spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound

I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So drag my lungs into the ground
Lay me down

Deep enough so that I’ll never feel again
Far beneath any chance at breaking skin
I’m giving in
All the promise of smiles and happiness
That’s a dream I’m not willing to admit
I’m not ready yet
To face regret
No I’m not ready yet
I’m not ready yet
No..
No..
No..

I’d do anything now
So spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound

I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
Tread my lungs into the ground
Lay me down..

******************

Peace

I absolutely love this song. It pretty much sums up my life!

The part that resonates with me is when he says, I’m in a body I hate but I have my faith more than what you see.

I hope you enjoy. XOXO

eBaY Baby!!

Posted: December 6, 2012 in Ramblings
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My new auction is for an Apple iPod 4th Gen 32GB Black 
 
Typical use wear shows on the back, a cover will fix that. Screen has small marks which do not affect the viewing. 
Headphones NOT included! One, NEW power cord included!
Works perfectly!
 
The pictures are the item[s] the winning bidder will receive.
It has been restored to factory settings and ready for you to set up.
 
FREE USPS Priority shipping!
 
Any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Click photo for eBay details
 

I’ve been asked recently why I haven’t blogged, honestly, I’m just blah! Lately not much on caring or really even trying. 2012 started out with flu going through my house. 

I have not had the flu for years thanks to my MS. Yes… thanks to my MS. My immune system is so overactive that colds and flus go right past me. The Tysabri infusions suppress my immune system, so, lucky me got sick! As we all know the flu makes ya all weak and shit. Times that by 1000. I’m already weak so the flu pretty much paralyzed me. Happy fucking joy joy! I’m trying to be positive that since the year started out so horribly, it can only get better. <insert sarcastic evil laugh> When I used to think that way I went from legs braces to a cane to a walker to a wheel-chariot. So the ‘it can only get better’ comment doesn’t mean all that much to me.

On a positive note… I’m getting a Picc Line inserted in the next month or so. My veins are pretty much non-existent and it hurts like a beotch when trying to find my veins. So this is a good thing. It’s a damn good thing I’m not an intravenous drug user! Seriously!! lmao

Now to share an amazing song my kid’s former nanny, Marilyn, hooked me up with. We are so blessed to still have her in our family after all theses years! She knows me so well, this is my song!

Hard Life – Brad Paisley

_______________________

Lyrics

Stop starin’ at me
Leave the sad looks at home
Everybody feels bad,
And you don’t understand,
It’s not like I’m alone

‘Cause everyone has battles to fight
And I don’t need your sympathy tonight

Yeah, it’s a hard life
But I’m okay
If I didn’t have this, I wouldn’t be who I am today
And I have lots of friends
Oh, and I have love
And yeah, I have a hard life but in some ways everybody does

There’s a lot I can’t do
But don’t be judgin me

I’m in a body I hate 
But I have my faith, more then what you see

So what if I can’t kick a soccer ball into a goal?
I feel like I can lift 500 pounds with my soul

Yeah, it’s a hard life
Oh, but I’m okay
If I didn’t have this, I wouldn’t be who I am today
And I have lots of friends
Oh, and I have love
Yeah, I have a hard life but in some ways everybody does

And some like me have lost their battle
But they will be the sun that gives you warmth,
And lights the way so we can shine on

Yeah, it’s a hard life
But I’m okay
If I didn’t have this, I wouldn’t be who I am today
And I have lots of friends
Oh, and I have love
Yeah, I have a hard life but in some ways everybody does
Yeah, I have a hard life but in some ways everybody does

_______________________

Love and Light! xx, Tracy

Do You?

Posted: January 3, 2010 in mindless-thoughts, music, Ramblings
Tags: , , ,

As I was trying to sleep this just kept going through my head. Figured I’d write it out.

Do You

Do you hear me cry…
Will you turn away…
Pretending you don’t hear me.

Do you see my pain
Will you turn away…
Pretending you don’t see me.

———————-

All I ask of you, if you chose to walk away
Is please don’t let me know…
Baby please….. just go.

———————-

Do you feel my fear
Will you turn away…
Pretending you don’t feel me

Do you know my heart
Will you turn away…
Pretending you don’t know me.

———————-

All I ask of you, if you chose to walk away
Is please don’t let me know…
Baby please….. just go.

Just walk out the door
Please don’t look my way
My heart can’t bear the pain
My heart can’t bear the pain…

Do you, miss me now…..

———————-

Tracy Radford
01/03/09

Blessings and Hope

Unwell Lyrics- Matchbox 20

Posted: September 12, 2009 in music
Tags: , ,

I just love this song and Matchbox 20 rocks!

——————————————

All day staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

[Chorus]

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be…me

I’m talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they’ve all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I’ve lost my mind

[Chorus]

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I’ve been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they’ll come to get me
Yeah, they’re taking me away

[Chorus]

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I’m just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I’m just a little unwell

Wow!!!

Posted: August 1, 2009 in music
Tags: ,

Rob thomas wrote this for his wife who suffered with Lupus. She is slowly recovering.

This song hits so very close to home.
I am so happy that his wife is doing much better. Maybe one day I might too!!
Have Tissues….