Anger · Fear · FUCK · Health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Religion · Sarcasm · Strength

Independence Blue Cross you never cease to amaze me.

For a brief moment, I really believed today was starting out well. Then I receive a call from Independence Blue Cross. I guess they feel trying to take your life is not considered an emergency and they are fighting me on paying for my trip to the hospital. I feel like they should just come to my house and shoot me, point blank, in my head. It would be so much quicker and so much less painful for me. Basically they will not allow me to go anywhere to get proper physical therapy and they won’t even give me real visits for my home for Physical Therapy. We can’t continue to pay for private visits, we live paycheck to paycheck and can’t expect help for the visits forever. That speaks volumes to me about what is allowed in our country right now. Again, and I will scream it from the rooftops, I have never ever had this much trouble with my health care insurance until a certain orange idiot took over the White House. I think companies like Independence Blue Cross feel they can deny life-saving care for people because right now our government will allow it. Their internal doctors probably were not intelligent enough to get real jobs so they sit behind a computer to read papers regarding patients, without ever meeting the patient, and make life changing decisions.

At this time in my life I’m not too worried about karma since every day brings something more painful to my life. With that being said, I hope everyone of those people that is denying me the care I need has horrible and painful issues happen to them. I truly feel that’s the only way they will understand what it’s truly like to be chronically ill. Better yet, I hope it happens to someone they love so that they can feel just as helpless and lost as my whole family feels. Was that a bit harsh? Well you know what, it’s a fucking harsh world!

I don’t have over $5000 to be able to pay for that hospital visit. I shouldn’t have to pay for that hospital visit since we pay thousands of dollars a year to have Independence Blue Cross insurance. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. Well, I guess when you have no heart or soul it’s easy. Just remember that one day you disgusting people will have to answer for what you’ve done. While I don’t believe in the heaven and hell aspect of religion nor do I believe in the God that some believe in, if there were a hell… That’s where you people will end up! I’ll see you there, because you see I’m driving the bus… 

I will go on, and to those of you that are trying to blatantly and knowingly hurt my life, be prepared because winter is coming!

Have courage and be kind.

Craziness · FUCK · Health · HELL · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

How do you know how to feel when you don’t know how you’re feeling?

Lately when my alarm goes off in the morning I’ve just been lying in my bed for a good hour or more debating… do I actually open my eyes and wake up or do I go back to sleep?! My days run into each other and as of late I’ve been a day off. I’m still waiting for the Physical Therapy to get back with my insurance. I’m very thankful that my mom is paying for private sessions while I wait, but she should not have to do that. Independence Blue Cross is yet again sitting on their thumb and twirling. I’m jumping through their hoops and doing in-home physical therapy. The pain is horrifying. Unfortunately I don’t have the medications I would get if I were in an actual rehab facility. I just keep gritting my teeth and going for it. We should not have to deal with this crap when we pay good money for actual healthcare insurance. Our country has gone to hell in a handbasket over the last 3.5 years. I’ve never in my life had this much trouble with insurance. I feel like I’m in limbo.

Although I will say that in a way it’s good that I am stuck in my room in my bed right now. We have so many idiot privileged Americans that think they don’t have to wear a mask. Look asshole, you MUST wear a fucking mask. And please don’t tell me you have a medical condition that makes it impossible for you to wear a mask. If that is true, you should keep your sick ass at home during a pandemic. I know brains are in short supply right now with everyone that follows the idiot in chief. And now we have another shit show starting with Kanye West thinking he’s going to run for president. I really hope everyone realizes this is just a ploy, most likely between him and the orange Cheeto to take away votes. But, the orange guy only got in because of the electoral college. He did not win the popular vote! So just like the south losing the war, he lost the popular vote. 

You ignorant people are the reason countries are banning Americans right now. Our country is the laughingstock of the world. And please don’t call yourself a patriot and say you love your country! If you can’t wear a mask to protect others in your wonderful country, then you’re nothing but a piece of shit! I’m sure it’s quite obvious that I despise the idiot in the White House. Not because he’s a Republican but because he’s a vile disgusting human being. If you can’t wear a mask to help your country you are no patriot!

I know my blog is going all over the place today because that’s where my head is. I’m numb right now and I’m not sure why. I am deeply saddened by everything happening in our world right now. My heart breaks with all of the hatred from certain groups of people RACISTS that are being caught on video all over the place. Again I’m probably better off being trapped in my bed because if I were anywhere near these racist “Karen” bitches, they would be laid out on the concrete. I have no time for those disgusting people.

And please don’t come at me with all lives matter. No shit Sherlock we know that. But right now in our country black lives are in jeopardy. And quite frankly all lives don’t matter until Black Lives Matter! I will no longer sit by as a white woman and be complacent about this issue. I have friends that are hurting and I will stand next to them and fight with them! ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

Unfortunately those people running around saying all lives matter really only care about life in the womb. The minute it comes out, you don’t care anymore. I won’t debate anyone on this because it’s right out there for you to see. People are out celebrating the Fourth of July while children are sitting in cages in the United States of America. For those people that think that’s acceptable, you’re a piece of shit. (we seem to have a lot of shit in our country right now don’t we) Plain and simple! I know I know you’re gonna blame their parents. I’m sorry if I lived in a shitty country I would do anything I could to get my children to a better place. If you are a parent who wouldn’t do that, I feel sorry for your children. Well shit, right now I do live in a shitty country. That’s a thought to ponder. 

Let’s see, have I missed anything or anyone?! I think I’m good to go right now. I swear lately I have eye rolled myself into oblivion with all the ignorance that I’m seeing. 🙄 I am sorry, but it’s no longer that we have a difference in opinion, we have a difference in morality!

As always, have courage and be kind! 🖤



Craziness · Medical · Ramblings · Sarcasm

Stay the F*CK Inside

OK everyone it’s really not rocket science. I understand that some don’t have the capacity to understand that this is a pandemic. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Say it with me, pan-dem-ic!! Stay the fuck inside!!!

Be part of the solution not the problem!

Science is fact people!!!

#TheVirusIsReal #NotAHoax #Coronavirus #COVID19 #WakeTheFuckUp #ScienceIsReal 

Have courage and be kind. 😏

FUCK · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

Be the bad ass you were meant to be!

I’m telling you today is already on my nerves. I got my bladder surgery scheduled and the pre-surgery doctors appointment. I did what I was told and called to get the pre-certification for the non-emergent transport, and was told my doctor needs to call. Now a week and a half ago the Young lady at Accolade called with me on the phone and took care of this for me. I think something must have happened because today no one will help me do it. Then, this weekend I received a new bill from my August 2019 stay and while getting my papers all together I found one I’d forgotten about. Previously I was told that my responsibility would be $50.90, but these bills together are $3000 and some change. I think someone’s messing with me. Am I on candid camera? Or maybe the TV show Punked came back. I know the wizard is behind the curtain. 😂

Trust me this morning I haven’t been strong. I’ve been crying a lot because it’s so overwhelming right now. This company (Independence Blue Cross) and their people are keeping proper care from me and making everything I need that much harder. it’s been a big eye-opening experience for me. I used to think people were exaggerating when they said their health insurance wasn’t helping them etc. I mean how can your health insurance not help you when you pay for that service?! Right? It has been boldly thrown into my face that it’s all about the money and the greed of these corporations. They have the money to put me in a top-of-the-line acute neurological rehab, but they’re not going to do it because that would take away from their paychecks. I am tired, I am discouraged, I am broken, but I will not be defeated! If they’re doing this to me how many other people have they done this to? And how many of those people did not have the strength or even know what to do to get help. This is what these companies do. They prey on people like me and their rent-a-docs run our healthcare without even seeing us or meeting us. 

So, while I have had a mental breakdown this morning and am feeling myself falling into the depths of healthcare insurance hell, I will not stop! this is my life! And I really hate when my mind goes to that dark place and I pray for karma to hit each and every one of the people that are denying me the life-saving care. I don’t like being that person. I don’t want anyone to feel the depths of despair that I feel every morning I wake up and realize it’s another day trapped in this hell. I wish these people would come to my fucking home. All they would have to do is take one look at my legs and they would see how much I need their help. Oh shit, wait a minute… They DON’T FUCKING CARE! Phew… that was a close one, I almost gave them credit for being human.

I am adjusting my sails right now!! 🖤

Have courage and be kind.

Anger · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

Round and Round We Go

I’m probably the only bedridden person that can actually jump through hoops. Actually I’m probably not. I got an email, not a phone call, giving me the same information regarding non-emergent transport. Not sure he actually spoke with them regarding accepting Blue Cross as only one of the three actually accept this insurance. I completely understand why the other two don’t, as Blue Cross doesn’t pay! That in itself is disgusting to me. I was told once I found one that could help me that I should call to get pre-certification. Today I did that with the one company that actually takes independence blue cross. But alas, it is not I that calls for the precertification. I called the pre-cert phone number which took me to Accolade, not Blue Cross. Accolade informed me that I need to go through my doctor to show proof that I need an ambulance ride to and from my doctor to be allowed this service. You know being taken by stretcher to and from my doctors. Yeah, because everyone wants to go by stretcher to their doctors appointments. Are they fucking kidding me?! The Accolade rep did help me out by calling and taking care of all of this BS for me. The first person that actually helped and has done what they say they’re going to do. And she isn’t even a Blue Cross employee. As of now, I have an appointment on the 28th and will be picked up at 7:30 AM so I can finally see my doctor again. But, I’m not holding my breath.

I wish I could say that I am no longer stressed regarding this, but this is only the beginning. I need to get to my neurologists office as well as my urologists office. I had to put off surgery to remove all the bladder stones because of my inability to get out of my bed. Yes I will say that again, I had to keep putting off my surgery because I could not get out of my bed and was turned away from Independence Blue Cross for inpatient rehabilitation. I wonder, do I have to go jump through these hoops every fucking time I need to see my doctor(s)? Do I need to prove that I need to go by stretcher again and again? I truly am disgusted by Independence Blue Cross. ^^ Me, every time I have to talk to these people and every time I have to send an email when they cannot return an actual phone call. And I will say it again and again, how the fuck do these people sleep at night knowing that they are withholding care from another human being that needs specific care?! I will get my inpatient rehabilitation! I will get the care that I need! I will not allow this despicable company to be in charge of my health care over my own doctors!  People we need to stand up and say no more! We need to write to our representatives, call them out, acquire an attorney if needs be, we need to say… We are not going to take this any more! Do I seem angry, a little pissed off… You have no idea! 

Have courage to those who try to keep you down, and be kind!! 

Quotes · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Silly

Snarky Saturday

I really have no more fucks to give. sorry, not sorry…

Does it hurt me? In all honesty, nope, not anymore. Don’t get me wrong, in the past it would break me. But now when people make it known that they don’t like me, it’s completely fine. Take a number! 😂 It’s almost like the trash taking itself out when they go away. I have so many more pressing things going on in my life that I really don’t have time to worry about the people that don’t find me wonderfully charming. If you don’t like me, buh-bye! Pretty simple. 

And as always, even when I’m being snarky, have courage and be kind! (and yes I do see the irony) ☺️