That’s real Strength!
Strength!
Category: Strength
Finding the Strength
Lovely Day
No matter how bad things may be, there is always something good in every day. Some days it is harder to find, but it’s there. I hope everyone has a lovely day! 🖤
And here we go again… Part 2
You’re gonna love this one… I just received an explanation of benefits from Independence Blue Cross stating that they are not fully covering the ambulance ride from the hospital to the rehab center after my hip surgery. I guess I should’ve just hooked my bed up to a car and rolled over that way. Ummmm idiots, I have no choice as to who the case manager at the hospital decides to use for transport.
The best part, my husband told the caseworker not to use American medical response, and she did anyways. 😳
I also received a second explanation of benefits in regards to my hip surgery. Again, I should’ve pre-certified breaking my hip first before I got the surgery. Logically, I understand the concept of precertification, but not in this case. So, we should’ve waited a couple of days before doing the surgery as I was lying there with a broken hip? What exactly am I supposed to do about this? They need to take it up with the fucking hospital and not me.
Thank you to those sending me your horror stories dealing with Independence Blue Cross/Anthem Blue Cross, etc. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this as well. Trust me, we will be heard!
And here we go again…
Oh Independence Blue Cross… You’re just disgusting! Seriously how do the people that work there sleep at night knowing what they’re doing to people on the other end. They are now telling me that I may be billed $5670.09 for my hip surgery because it was not pre-certified. So I guess I should’ve called them a couple days before my hip was broken to let them know that my hip was going to break. 😳 I know it’s not as simple as that, but come the fuck on! I seriously feel like they have my name on a list and it says, fuck with her so she goes crazy and dies. 😈
And contrary to what HR at my husbands work said, they only offer Independence Blue Cross and Kaiser, NOT United healthcare. And Kaiser doesn’t have an MS specialist so I am stuck with Independence Blue Cross. I will be looking into Medicare part B. We can’t really afford it, but I’ve got to do some thing.
I’m still trying to figure out why Comcast benefits called me directly. I think I’m going to call them back again and find out why. 🤔
I also had to send in an appeal for the ambulance ride in May after my suicide attempt. 😪 It’s really disgusting all the hoops you have to jump through when you have a chronic illness. Money is more important than human life. It doesn’t pay to be sick.
I am lying on my side!
Holy shit! I am lying on my side for the first time in years! It feels so freaking good. Oh am I going to hurt tomorrow! 💪
I must also say thank you to my stepmom Cheryl, and the squirrels for helping me to get physical therapy! ♥️
I am still waiting on insurance to kick in again. 😡 It’s unbelievable! But fuck all of that, because I’m lying on my side!
All total I could only remain on my side for about 30 minutes. But oh my gosh next time I will do better! Or at least I will try!🤞🖤💪
#MSWarrior #ICanDoThis #MustKeepGoing
Have courage and be kind.

Independence Blue Cross you never cease to amaze me.
For a brief moment, I really believed today was starting out well. Then I receive a call from Independence Blue Cross. I guess they feel trying to take your life is not considered an emergency and they are fighting me on paying for my trip to the hospital. I feel like they should just come to my house and shoot me, point blank, in my head. It would be so much quicker and so much less painful for me. Basically they will not allow me to go anywhere to get proper physical therapy and they won’t even give me real visits for my home for Physical Therapy. We can’t continue to pay for private visits, we live paycheck to paycheck and can’t expect help for the visits forever. That speaks volumes to me about what is allowed in our country right now. Again, and I will scream it from the rooftops, I have never ever had this much trouble with my health care insurance until a certain orange idiot took over the White House. I think companies like Independence Blue Cross feel they can deny life-saving care for people because right now our government will allow it. Their internal doctors probably were not intelligent enough to get real jobs so they sit behind a computer to read papers regarding patients, without ever meeting the patient, and make life changing decisions.
At this time in my life I’m not too worried about karma since every day brings something more painful to my life. With that being said, I hope everyone of those people that is denying me the care I need has horrible and painful issues happen to them. I truly feel that’s the only way they will understand what it’s truly like to be chronically ill. Better yet, I hope it happens to someone they love so that they can feel just as helpless and lost as my whole family feels. Was that a bit harsh? Well you know what, it’s a fucking harsh world!
I don’t have over $5000 to be able to pay for that hospital visit. I shouldn’t have to pay for that hospital visit since we pay thousands of dollars a year to have Independence Blue Cross insurance. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. Well, I guess when you have no heart or soul it’s easy. Just remember that one day you disgusting people will have to answer for what you’ve done. While I don’t believe in the heaven and hell aspect of religion nor do I believe in the God that some believe in, if there were a hell… That’s where you people will end up! I’ll see you there, because you see I’m driving the bus… 
I will go on, and to those of you that are trying to blatantly and knowingly hurt my life, be prepared because winter is coming!
Have courage and be kind.
Tell me I cannot do something and I will show you that I can…
When that idiot of a doctor told me via FaceTime that there’s nothing more they can do for me, I am end-stage MS, and he’ll put in a call to hospice, I almost said “you’re right!” But after talking to some amazing friends and getting the best support in the world, he can kiss my fucking ass! Dr. Kareti at AV Neuroscience, you seriously pissed off the wrong woman. Telling someone over the phone that they are at their end, in a sense, was about the most disgusting thing a doctor could do. Aside from the fact the whole time he was shuffling papers on his table and talking to a nurse, what he did was unconscionable. What if I had been alone? What if I had no support system? He quite possibly could’ve sent someone over the edge by doing that. 
Now, I’m gonna show him just how incompetent and how wrong he is! Tell me I can’t asshole… I’m gonna show you I fucking can! You’ve just given me more strength than you know. I will admit that I was frightened of the places my mind went to after the phone call. But I made it through with so much help from my friends! I’m going to keep going even if I have to crawl.
I’m going to Keep fighting. One things for sure is I’m not going to be silent when I don’t receive the best healthcare possible. I have a remote call with my pain management doctor today and I will be informing him of the conversation I had with the neurologist. I’m curious to see if he’s going to agree with him or not. 
I’m tired, I’m scared, I’m frustrated, I’m angry, but the warrior in me is going to rise from the ashes, just like the Phoenix!!
Have courage and be kind.

First do no harm…
I think doctors forget, or simply don’t care how they speak to their patients, and how those words can affect them. Tonight in a very blasé tone while shuffling papers and speaking with the nurse that was in the room via FaceTime, Dr. Kareti from AV neuroscience, told me I am end stage MS and there’s nothing more they can do for me. The humorous part is the that their doctors office is why I’m trapped in bed from pain from hip contractures. No one found the break at L1 when I fell October 2013 which landed me in the bed. No one got me the little kickstand boots to keep my legs in proper position.  I mean if I had known then what I know now I could’ve done all this stuff on my own. Unfortunately I’m not a doctor and that’s why I was going to doctors because I thought they would know what to do. And now, there’s nothing more they can do for me. Oh wait, I forgot, they can contact hospice for me… 
Oh oh oh… I tried telling him about the Physical Therapy fuck up and the visits or lack there of, and he just blew it off. I mean he was really busy looking at papers on his desk and handing things to the nurse. I must’ve interrupted him with my FaceTime appointment.
So to sum it the fuck up, basically because I have severe pain and am unable to get out of my bed, I should just throw in the towel.
Game on bitch!
Have courage and be kind
… I just read this again and I should probably just burn it down because the pain is terrible and the pain is just so intense right now I shouldn’t be blogging about anything. But I’m gonna leave it I just felt the need to say sorry. I’m a little lost and so angry. I seriously can never catch a break.
And like I always say;



How do you know how to feel when you don’t know how you’re feeling?
Lately when my alarm goes off in the morning I’ve just been lying in my bed for a good hour or more debating… do I actually open my eyes and wake up or do I go back to sleep?! My days run into each other and as of late I’ve been a day off. I’m still waiting for the Physical Therapy to get back with my insurance. I’m very thankful that my mom is paying for private sessions while I wait, but she should not have to do that. Independence Blue Cross is yet again sitting on their thumb and twirling. I’m jumping through their hoops and doing in-home physical therapy. The pain is horrifying. Unfortunately I don’t have the medications I would get if I were in an actual rehab facility. I just keep gritting my teeth and going for it. We should not have to deal with this crap when we pay good money for actual healthcare insurance. Our country has gone to hell in a handbasket over the last 3.5 years. I’ve never in my life had this much trouble with insurance. I feel like I’m in limbo.
Although I will say that in a way it’s good that I am stuck in my room in my bed right now. We have so many idiot privileged Americans that think they don’t have to wear a mask. Look asshole, you MUST wear a fucking mask. And please don’t tell me you have a medical condition that makes it impossible for you to wear a mask. If that is true, you should keep your sick ass at home during a pandemic. I know brains are in short supply right now with everyone that follows the idiot in chief. And now we have another shit show starting with Kanye West thinking he’s going to run for president. I really hope everyone realizes this is just a ploy, most likely between him and the orange Cheeto to take away votes. But, the orange guy only got in because of the electoral college. He did not win the popular vote! So just like the south losing the war, he lost the popular vote. 
You ignorant people are the reason countries are banning Americans right now. Our country is the laughingstock of the world. And please don’t call yourself a patriot and say you love your country! If you can’t wear a mask to protect others in your wonderful country, then you’re nothing but a piece of shit! I’m sure it’s quite obvious that I despise the idiot in the White House. Not because he’s a Republican but because he’s a vile disgusting human being. If you can’t wear a mask to help your country you are no patriot!
I know my blog is going all over the place today because that’s where my head is. I’m numb right now and I’m not sure why. I am deeply saddened by everything happening in our world right now. My heart breaks with all of the hatred from certain groups of people RACISTS that are being caught on video all over the place. Again I’m probably better off being trapped in my bed because if I were anywhere near these racist “Karen” bitches, they would be laid out on the concrete. I have no time for those disgusting people.
And please don’t come at me with all lives matter. No shit Sherlock we know that. But right now in our country black lives are in jeopardy. And quite frankly all lives don’t matter until Black Lives Matter! I will no longer sit by as a white woman and be complacent about this issue. I have friends that are hurting and I will stand next to them and fight with them! ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
Unfortunately those people running around saying all lives matter really only care about life in the womb. The minute it comes out, you don’t care anymore. I won’t debate anyone on this because it’s right out there for you to see. People are out celebrating the Fourth of July while children are sitting in cages in the United States of America. For those people that think that’s acceptable, you’re a piece of shit. (we seem to have a lot of shit in our country right now don’t we) Plain and simple! I know I know you’re gonna blame their parents. I’m sorry if I lived in a shitty country I would do anything I could to get my children to a better place. If you are a parent who wouldn’t do that, I feel sorry for your children. Well shit, right now I do live in a shitty country. That’s a thought to ponder. 
Let’s see, have I missed anything or anyone?! I think I’m good to go right now. I swear lately I have eye rolled myself into oblivion with all the ignorance that I’m seeing. 🙄 I am sorry, but it’s no longer that we have a difference in opinion, we have a difference in morality!
As always, have courage and be kind! 🖤

Making it Through the Rain 