dogs · Love · Ramblings · rescue dogs

Dogs just know…

She knows something is wrong with this leg. She was so gentle when she put her head down. She did a lot of sniffing around the surgical site and then gently settled in. I missed her so much! Love my rescue! #PitBullMom 🖤🐾🐾

Ramblings

Two surgeries, 2 L of blood later! And away we go…

This blog is summing up what has happened since September 14, 2020. It’s been one crazy ride!

Welp, Having some lower tummy issues today a.k.a. the bladder. So my doctor is having me go to the hospital through emergency and she is going to admit me to get the surgery done and over with. She is worried that the bladder stones could possibly clog the stoma etc.

I am so jazzed that she is doing this for me because I really need this surgery. It’s been over a year that I was supposed to have it, so this is a really good thing! The ambulance is on the way to come pick me up. Thankfully it’s just an ambulance service and not 911. I really didn’t need the police, fire, and everyone else showing up. 😂🖤

I am in the ER awaiting on ultrasound and for my doctor.

And the Covid up my nose swabs weren’t bad at all. I was very happy about that. 🥰

I’m finally in a room. I got up here at about 11 PM. The surgery went really well. 👍

Unfortunately the pain in my left hip is off the charts. ☹️ Tomorrow morning they will be doing x-rays. Right now I have pain meds on board and I think I’m gonna try to sleep. It has been a very long couple of days!

I’m not even sure where to begin. So my bladder surgery went really well. I started having a ton of pain in my left hip. So before I went home I wanted to get it checked. Well, when I say shit happens but mostly to me so don’t be worried, I mean that. I have a fractured hip at the top of the femur. Basically my bones are very weak and brittle. I had surgery for the hip on Wednesday and man the pain, WOWZERS!! They put in a rod and pins. I am hoping they will do a bone scan while I’m here because as we all know my insurance won’t cover me for transport. One of the doctors said they can do it in the hospital and one of them said no they don’t do it in the hospital. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was also hoping this would get me into the rehab center, but healthcare is different for people with chronic illness. If I was just a woman who broke her hip I’d be getting the rehab at the rehab center. I was really hoping they would go to bat for me but as we all know they won’t. 

I still haven’t wrapped my head around all of this. The doctor said I am very susceptible to more breaks. My opinion, then get me on a good bone medication. But wait, I’m gonna have to go find a way to get to the doctor to do the bone density scan. So that won’t be happening anytime soon.

So the case manager, ignorant asshole from the hospital, says that in the notes it said I refused PT on Saturday and Sunday. Because of that insurance won’t put me in a rehab facility. I explained that no fucking way did I refuse it. I did it Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then on Sunday they stopped giving me the IV pain meds. I had one pain med tablet on board when they came in to do the physical therapy. The minute he started moving my legs the pain was off the charts. So I asked if we could just do adjusting my legs in the bed etc. for PT since I didn’t have the proper pain meds on board. Well in their mind that was refusing it. You know if this shit wasn’t happening to me I would not believe it. The stupid bitch on the phone wouldn’t even listen to what I was trying to tell her. All she kept saying was, well it’s been written in the notes and now your insurance won’t do anything about it. It’s as if the medical community where I live all went to the same ACME school of medicine. It’s like they’re single-handedly trying to make my getting better not happen. So now what the fuck am I supposed to do! 😡

I came to the hospital Monday, September 14 for bladder stone removal surgery. By Wednesday I’m having surgery for a broken hip which I did NOT have when I came to the hospital on the 14th. So what part of, I don’t want you people fucking touching me, don’t they understand. 😳

So they just gave me another pain tablet and at 1 PM they’re coming in for PT. Let’s see what they break this time. 😥

Wow! It’s been a doozy of a day… A doozy of a day!

A Dr. Mansourian, Internist, came in and talked with me. I told him what was going on and he said that he will get me into rehab. If the insurance tries to say no he’s going to keep me here then. I’m kind of sitting with my mouth open like what just happened. Is this the light I’ve been searching for at the end of the tunnel?! He’s taking charge and he completely understands why I’m so afraid of being moved. He also said he’s going to tell them when I go to rehab that I’ll need to get to a doctor for the bone scan. 👊

The PT girls who came in were really amazing. They knew I was scared and they were very slow and steady with me. They rolled me on both sides, for only a second, but I did it. 🤗

I really want to be excited, I really want to feel like someone’s finally listening, but this stuff has happened before and nothing came of it. I am going to hold on to hope.

I’ve got this; I will keep going! 🖤

Time for 2 L of blood 😳

Maybe this is why I’ve been feeling dizzy, fatigued, well crappy for the last four months. I wonder what they’ll find tomorrow. Stay tuned for the next chapter of Tracy‘s medical maladies! 😂

So there you have it! This is what’s been happening from September 14 until today, September 22. What a ride it has been and what a ride it is still going to be!

Health · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings

Round and round and round we go…

I am in a mood and somehow I can’t find my way out of said mood. Still awaiting Physical Therapy to be covered by my insurance company. Is it any wonder that I’ve heard nothing from Independence Blue Cross? I barely reimbursed half of the money back from the transport company they told me to use. At this point they are denying me the ambulance trips with AMR and the hospital visit. I’m getting bills from that amazing time that I’m going to collections for it. 😳 Sorry but you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip… or some shit like that. I guess they don’t feel suicide is an emergency. I’m sorry, attempted suicide.

Months would’ve been easy, my waiting is moving on into my seventh year. That light at the end of the tunnel that was starting to come into view, is now flickering. I truly believe I have to keep fighting but I also understand that things may never change. I have to learn to be able to wrap my head around how my life may have to be. I’m not giving in, but I do have to be a little more realistic. I’m tired. My mind is tired. My body is tired. My soul is tired. 

Fuuuuuuuuck

Have courage and be kind.