Have courage and be kind!
Have courage and be kind!
I won’t get into any political things here… but the votes are L.E.G.A.L. and President Elect Biden and Vice President Elect Harris ARE our next presidential team! #DealWithIt
Now onto Physical Therapy… Finally after a bunch of fuck ups; getting the nurse here and getting the physical therapy people here, I got a total of three visits. One visit was the nurse signing me in. The next two visits were physical therapy and being signed out. So a whopping two physical therapy visits for a broken hip! I am truly at a loss with Independence Blue Cross. They are the most despicable and disgusting insurance company out there. The worst part is we’re stuck with them through my husband’s work. We can’t do Kaiser because they don’t have multiple sclerosis specialists where I am. You would think such a big company that my husband works for would offer better choices for health insurance. In the end, I think they all work together.
Like I always say, they know not who they’re dealing with.
Hello… Life has been crazy since September 14. I was in the Antelope Valley Hospital from September 14 until September 25 when I was transferred to the Antelope Valley Care Center for recuperation. It was to be for some physical therapy and taking care of my surgery site from the broken hip. I had a total of 23 staples by my left hip and one of those staples by my left knee.￼￼￼ I still haven’t really looked at the area as I’m still a bit freaked out about the whole broken hip thing. Insurance gave me a whopping 13 days for physical therapy and rehab. 🙄￼
Thankfully, on October 8, 2020, I was able to get back home. Both of my feet and ankles were￼ very swollen. It was really cool as when I got home we literally watched my feet go back to their normal size. It’s possibly because the beds in those places are not comfortable whatsoever. The other issue is those beds are made for people under 5’9″. Being 6′ tall, it does not bode well for my circulation.￼￼￼ Literally the minute I adjusted myself into my bed, the swelling just magically disappeared. There is still a tad bit of swelling on top of both feet, but very mild.￼
I am still having some pain in my left hip and I am very nervous to move too much at this point, as the doctor explained that my ￼bones have severe osteoporosis￼￼. When they did the hip surgery they obviously moved my leg into a proper position. So now my left leg is much straighter and doesn’t flop to the side as much anymore. The problem is my hip is fighting to go and drop again. So we have put a pillow under that knee to keep it as straight as possible. I’m not sure why they don’t have some sort of braces for me. Although the way my doctors have let me down in the past, I guess I know why.￼￼￼￼ I am going to be getting some physical therapy at home.
The best part about coming home was getting my bed bath and my hair shampooed in my bucket. Oh my gosh getting almost 4 weeks of hospital and nursing home nastiness off of me, was amazing!
This was me, above, in the nursing home. Look how green I look. Okay, okay, it actually is the baby Yoda filter on Instagram.￼￼￼￼￼￼ Seriously though, I did feel green a lot of the time I was there. 😏
This picture, above, is after I got home and had my amazing bed bath and hair shampooed! It was Joyous!￼￼￼
I’m thankful to be￼ home, and I’m feeling pretty good. I was a good girl today and got all of my follow up doctors appointment scheduled for the next couple of weeks. They will be done by video call, so that’s a plus.￼ I am hoping to get on a bone medication and they also found a blood clot so I’m hoping to get the blood thinner prescribed to me as well. I am going to keep some hope alive that now that we know more but we’re dealing with, that I will finally start being able to get help.￼￼ It could happen…
Holy shit! I am lying on my side for the first time in years! ￼￼￼It feels so freaking good. Oh am I going to hurt tomorrow! 💪
I must also say thank you to my stepmom Cheryl, and the squirrels for helping me to get physical therapy! ♥️
I am still waiting on insurance to kick in again. 😡 It’s unbelievable! But fuck all of that, because I’m lying on my side!
All total I could only remain on my side for about 30 minutes. But oh my gosh next time I will do better! Or at least I will try!🤞🖤💪
#MSWarrior #ICanDoThis #MustKeepGoing
Have courage and be kind.
It’s not… It’s not… It’s NOT your fault! 🖤
Have courage and be kind.
I think doctors forget, or simply don’t care how they speak to their patients, and how those words can affect them￼. Tonight in a very blasé tone while shuffling papers and speaking with the nurse that was in the room via FaceTime, Dr. Kareti from AV neuroscience, told me I am end stage MS and there’s nothing more they can do for me.￼￼ The humorous part is the that their doctors office is why I’m trapped in bed from pain from hip contractures. No one found the break at L1 when I fell October 2013 which landed me in the bed.￼ No one got me the little kickstand boots to keep my legs in proper position. ￼￼￼ I mean if I had known then what I know now I could’ve done all this stuff on my own. Unfortunately I’m not a doctor and that’s why I was going to doctors because I thought they would know what to do. ￼￼And now, there’s nothing more they can do for me. Oh wait, I forgot, they can contact hospice for me… ￼
Oh oh oh… I tried telling him about the Physical Therapy fuck up and the visits or lack there of, and he just blew it off.￼￼￼ I mean he was really busy looking at papers on his desk and handing things to the nurse. ￼I must’ve interrupted him with my FaceTime appointment.￼
So to sum it the fuck up￼, ￼basically because I have severe pain and am unable to get out of my bed, I should just throw in the towel.
Game on bitch!
Have courage and be kind
… I just read this again and I should probably just burn it down because the pain is terrible and the pain is just so intense right now I shouldn’t be blogging about anything. But I’m gonna leave it I just felt the need to say sorry. I’m a little lost and so angry.￼ I seriously can never catch a break.
And like I always say;
I am in a mood and somehow I can’t find my way out of said mood.￼ Still awaiting Physical Therapy to be covered by my insurance company. Is it any wonder that I’ve heard nothing from Independence Blue Cross? I barely ￼reimbursed half of the money back from the transport company they told me to use. At this point they are denying me the ambulance trips with AMR and the hospital visit. I’m getting bills from that amazing time￼ that I’m going to collections for it. 😳 Sorry but you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip… or some shit like that.￼￼￼￼ I guess they don’t feel suicide is an emergency. I’m sorry, attempted suicide.
Months would’ve been easy, my waiting is moving on into my seventh year. That light at the end of the tunnel that was starting to come into view, is now flickering.￼￼ I truly believe I have to keep fighting but I also understand that things may never change. I have to learn to be able to wrap my head around how my life may have to be. I’m not giving in, but I do have to be a little more realistic. ￼I’m tired. My mind is tired. My body is tired. My soul is tired. ￼￼￼
Have courage and be kind.￼￼
PT has stalled. Someone was diagnosed with Covid where he works. In the scheme of things I’m lucky, I don’t have Covid. I just hope it doesn’t put me back too far when he can come back. I also hope The person diagnosed with Covid makes a full and speedy recovery and that nobody else tests positive.￼￼￼
I can’t say that I’m not worried…
Have courage and be kind.￼￼￼
Lately when my alarm goes off in the morning I’ve just been lying in my bed for a good hour or more debating… do I actually open my eyes and wake up or do I go back to sleep?! My days run into each other and as of late I’ve been a day off. I’m still waiting for the Physical Therapy to get back with my insurance. I’m very thankful that my mom is paying for private sessions￼ while I wait, but she should not have to do that. Independence Blue Cross is yet again sitting on their thumb and twirling.￼￼￼ I’m jumping through their hoops and doing in-home physical therapy. The pain is horrifying. Unfortunately I don’t have the medications I would get if I were in an actual rehab facility. I just keep gritting my teeth and going for it. We should not have to deal with this crap when we pay good money for actual healthcare insurance. Our country has gone to hell in a handbasket over the last 3.5 years. I’ve never in my life had this much trouble with insurance. I feel like I’m in limbo.
Although I will say that in a way it’s good that I am stuck in my room in my bed right now. We have so many idiot privileged Americans that think they don’t have to wear a mask. Look asshole, you MUST wear a fucking mask. And please don’t tell me you have a medical condition that makes it impossible for you to wear a mask. If that is true, you should keep your sick ass at home during a pandemic. I know brains are in short supply right now with everyone that follows the idiot in chief. And now we have another shit show starting with Kanye West thinking he’s going to run for president. I really hope everyone realizes this is just a ploy, most likely between him and the orange Cheeto to take away votes. But, the orange guy only got in because of the electoral college. He did not win the popular vote! So just like the south losing the war, he lost the popular vote. ￼￼￼
You ignorant people are the reason countries are banning Americans right now. Our country is the laughingstock of the world. And please don’t call yourself a patriot and say you love your country! If you can’t wear a mask to protect others in your wonderful country, then you’re nothing but a piece of shit! I’m sure it’s quite obvious that I despise the idiot in the White House. Not because he’s a Republican but because he’s a vile disgusting human being. ￼￼If you can’t wear a mask to help your country you are no patriot!
I know my blog is going all over the place today because that’s where my head is. I’m numb right now and I’m not sure why. I am deeply saddened by everything happening in our world right now. My heart breaks with all of the hatred from certain groups of people RACISTS that are being caught on video all over the place. ￼￼￼Again I’m probably better off being trapped in my bed because if I were anywhere near these racist “Karen” bitches, they would be laid out on the concrete. I have no time for those disgusting people.￼
And please don’t come at me with all lives matter. No shit Sherlock we know that. But right now in our country black lives are in jeopardy. And quite frankly all lives don’t matter until Black Lives Matter! I will no longer sit by as a white woman and be complacent about this issue. I have friends that are hurting and I will stand next to them and fight with them! ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
Unfortunately those people running around saying all lives matter really only care about life in the womb. The minute it comes out, you don’t care anymore. I won’t debate anyone on this because it’s right out there for you to see. People are out celebrating the Fourth of July while children are sitting in cages in the United States of America. For those people that think that’s acceptable, you’re a piece of shit. (we seem to have a lot of shit in our country right now don’t we) ￼Plain and simple! ￼￼￼I know I know you’re gonna blame their parents. I’m sorry if I lived in a shitty country I would do anything I could to get my children to a better place. If you are a parent who wouldn’t do that, I feel sorry for your children. Well shit, right now I do live in a shitty country. That’s a thought to ponder. ￼￼￼
Let’s see, have I missed anything or anyone?! I think I’m good to go right now. I swear lately I have eye rolled myself into oblivion￼ with all the ignorance that I’m seeing.￼ 🙄 I am sorry, but it’s no longer that we have a difference in opinion, we have a difference in morality!￼￼
As always, have courage and be kind! 🖤￼