Anger · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

Round and Round We Go

I’m probably the only bedridden person that can actually jump through hoops. Actually I’m probably not. I got an email, not a phone call, giving me the same information regarding non-emergent transport. Not sure he actually spoke with them regarding accepting Blue Cross as only one of the three actually accept this insurance. I completely understand why the other two don’t, as Blue Cross doesn’t pay! That in itself is disgusting to me. I was told once I found one that could help me that I should call to get pre-certification. Today I did that with the one company that actually takes independence blue cross. But alas, it is not I that calls for the precertification. I called the pre-cert phone number which took me to Accolade, not Blue Cross. Accolade informed me that I need to go through my doctor to show proof that I need an ambulance ride to and from my doctor to be allowed this service. You know being taken by stretcher to and from my doctors. Yeah, because everyone wants to go by stretcher to their doctors appointments. Are they fucking kidding me?! The Accolade rep did help me out by calling and taking care of all of this BS for me. The first person that actually helped and has done what they say they’re going to do. And she isn’t even a Blue Cross employee. As of now, I have an appointment on the 28th and will be picked up at 7:30 AM so I can finally see my doctor again. But, I’m not holding my breath.

I wish I could say that I am no longer stressed regarding this, but this is only the beginning. I need to get to my neurologists office as well as my urologists office. I had to put off surgery to remove all the bladder stones because of my inability to get out of my bed. Yes I will say that again, I had to keep putting off my surgery because I could not get out of my bed and was turned away from Independence Blue Cross for inpatient rehabilitation. I wonder, do I have to go jump through these hoops every fucking time I need to see my doctor(s)? Do I need to prove that I need to go by stretcher again and again? I truly am disgusted by Independence Blue Cross. ^^ Me, every time I have to talk to these people and every time I have to send an email when they cannot return an actual phone call. And I will say it again and again, how the fuck do these people sleep at night knowing that they are withholding care from another human being that needs specific care?! I will get my inpatient rehabilitation! I will get the care that I need! I will not allow this despicable company to be in charge of my health care over my own doctors!  People we need to stand up and say no more! We need to write to our representatives, call them out, acquire an attorney if needs be, we need to say… We are not going to take this any more! Do I seem angry, a little pissed off… You have no idea! 

Have courage to those who try to keep you down, and be kind!! 

FUCK · HELL · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS

Broken

I am really in the thick of it right now. I have not heard back from Independence Blue Cross, so I’m in limbo. Most likely I’ll have to call Accolade who is the go-between. We pay so much money for health insurance every year, yet we are not ‘allowed’ to speak to the actual insurance company reps!! 🤔 It is absolutely ridiculous. Independence Blue Cross is 💯% withholding care from me. How can that be acceptable? Independence Blue Cross is really a joke. The incompetence over there is astounding.

I’m tired… But I’m not going to stop… I’m broken… But I’m not going to stop…

Have courage and be kind! < The people at Independence Blue Cross should really take heed of that simple sentence. I really do wonder how they sleep at night. 

Ramblings

Sunday Sunday

I know it got a little dark in here last night. Sometimes when I’m sitting by myself thoughts pop into my head. I decided I’m just going to put them here when that happens. Blogging to me is an outlet. It’s a way to purge myself so I don’t lose it in my real life. Does that make sense? Does it matter if it makes sense to you? I guess as long as it makes sense to me it’s a good thing.This is my love. She stays by my side and makes sure that I’m OK. She is the reason that two years ago, almost to the date, I did not leave this earth. She did have some help from my beautiful friend Carolyn. That story is here and one that has no end yet. At least not the end that I was hoping for. Still a work in progress.

Today is a better day. Starbucks and blueberry muffins are the perfect thing to put you right. I tell people all the time, that it’s just a bad day not a bad life. I sometimes need to take my own advice. Today, I will!Have courage and be kind.

Anger · FUCK · Health · HELL · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sadness

Weird Wednesday

I was cruising the Internet and this picture popped up. It’s not meant to be sad it’s not meant to scare anyone. But I’m not going to spend another six years and three months in my bed. Without help, proper help, I’m never going to get out of this prison have a bed. My ankles suffer from dropfoot and contractures. My knees haven’t been able to straighten in about three years. And my hips I can’t even get in my Hoyer lift because of the pain. This has been going on for a very long time now and nothing has changed. I really thought my time in rehab in 2018 was going to save me. I fought so hard I did so well, then nothing. How do people that are bedridden see their doctors? I know they can call non-emergent transport, then try to coordinate that with their doctors appointments but first they have to make the calls to make sure it will be approved. Really? Making something hard even harder.

I wish I could be the shiny happy person that people want me to be. But that’s not gonna happen. I’m angry. I’m pissed off. I get it life‘s not fair blah blah blah. You know the people that say that to me… People with no chronic illness. I guarantee they wouldn’t last one day trapped in their bed not able to even get up to go to the bathroom, be able to roll over in their bed, or sit up without help. They would break the first 20 minutes.

Tears! 😂😂😂 No, if you could read my mind you would be screaming at the top of your lungs for help. I am so angry and I know that anger doesn’t help. But when every year it just gets worse, sorry I can’t put on that smile every fucking day for you. I’m angry about people who I see complaining all the time about the tiniest little things. Yes I’m an asshole. I can’t sugarcoat shit every fucking day. I really just want it all to end. I really really want freedom. I’m so tired of being in prison for a crime I never committed.

Have courage and be kind

Health · HELL · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

Thursday Feelings – I am a Warrior

I’m kind of excited I found a non-emergency transport so that I can get to my doctors. If I can work it out perfectly I can make my appointments for the same day. It’s nice that all my doctors are in the same building. It’s going to be so much easier going by stretcher then having to try to sit for any period of time in my wheelchair. I can’t even get my wheelchair so I think this is going to be good. I think I’ll buy a crown for that day and as they’re pushing me through, I’ll put my hand up and do the wave. 😂

I’m going to talk to my doctor about contracture surgery as well as rehab. Maybe that’s the route to go. I’ve been trying to find the perfect in-home PT group from the names the Blue Cross rep gave me, but that’s not helping. All they tell me is, “Our rehab people are good.” I’m sure they are. I’m asking if they deal with muscle contractures. Frankly I don’t think any of them know what that is. 🤔 I just want to know how in-home therapy is going to be able to help me with the pain. They don’t. I need to be in a facility if I want any pain help. So I guess I’m just going to grit my teeth. 😁 I can tell that this is going to be a lot of fun…

Now I need to get my appointments, get the certification from the insurance company, and get a time slot for the transport. Oh how I love jumping through all these hoops just to go to my doctor. Oh well, we do what we Gotta do. 😏
Time to straighten my crown and get shit done. 🖤Have courage and be kind