Posts Tagged ‘multiple sclerosis’

 Update: this is why I don’t get my hopes up. Just found out this is another media hype or as I like to call it a hoax. It’s very sad playing with us like this.

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I won’t hold my breath, but please make it so!

Always hoping

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Breakthrough in multiple sclerosis research as scientists discover possible cause of the disease

 Scientists found a protein called Rab32 in the brains of people with MS

Telegraph Reporters

24 April 2017 • 12:01am

British scientists have discovered a potential cause for multiple sclerosis, in a major breakthrough that could pave the way for new treatments for the disease.

Scientists have found a new cellular mechanism which may cause the autoimmune disorder. Multiple sclerosis affects around 2.5 million people around the world.

Typically, people are diagnosed in their 20s and 30s, and it is more common in women than men.

Although the cause has so far been a mystery, the disease causes the body’s own immune system to attack myelin – the fatty “sheaths” which protect nerves in the brain and spinal cord.

This leads to brain damage, a reduction in blood supply and oxygen and the formation of lesions in the body.

Our exciting new findings have uncovered a new avenue for researchers to explore. It is a critical step, and in time, we hope it might lead to effective new treatments for MSProfessor Paul Eggleton

Symptoms can be wide-ranging, and can include muscle spasms, mobility problems, pain, fatigue, and problems with speech.

Scientists have long suspected that mitochondria, the energy-creating “powerhouse” of the cell, plays a link in causing multiple sclerosis.

Using human brain tissue samples, researchers at the Universities of Exeter and Alberta found a protein called Rab32 is present in large quantities in the brains of people with MS – but is virtually absent in healthy brain cells.

Where Rab32 is present, the team discovered that a part of the cell which stores calcium gets too close to the mitochondria.

The resulting miscommunication with the calcium supply triggers the mitochondria to misbehave, ultimately causing toxicity for brain cells in people with MS.

Researchers do not yet know what causes an unwelcome influx of Rab32 but they believe the defect could originate at the base of the celThe finding will enable scientists to search for effective treatments that target Rab32 and embark on determining whether there are other proteins which could pay a role in triggering MS.

Professor Paul Eggleton, of the University of Exeter Medical School, said: “Multiple sclerosis can have a devastating impact on people’s lives, affecting mobility, speech, mental ability and more.

“So far, all medicine can offer is treatment and therapy for the symptoms – as we do not yet know the precise causes, research has been limited.

“Our exciting new findings have uncovered a new avenue for researchers to explore. It is a critical step, and in time, we hope it might lead to effective new treatments for MS.

The research has been published as part of MS Awareness Week. Dr David Schley, from the MS Society, said: “No-one knows for sure why people develop MS and we welcome any research that increases our understanding of how to stop it.

“There are currently no treatments available for many of the more than 100,000 people in the UK who live with this challenging and unpredictable condition.

“We want people with MS to have a range of treatments to choose from, and be able to get the right treatment at the right time.”

Trish Deykin, who suffers from MS, welcomed the research.

She said: “Finding a cause will help everyone who has MS – even if that’s just knowing more about what’s going on in their own brains.”

The paper, Rab32 connects ER stress to mitochondrial defects in multiple sclerosis, is published in the journal Neuroinflammation.

For over a year I have been waiting and hoping for this medication. The very FIRST medication for those of us with the severe form of MS. We are the 5-10% that have had nothing available to help, if even in a small way, our progressive form.

When i first heard of it tears streamed down my face. Then we got the news it was being fast tracked for January 2017. FDA approved and ready. We know sometimes shit happens, and it did. We were then informed March 29, 2017. Ok, thats doable. I made my neurologist appointment with tears and such hope to get the ball rolling…

What ball, there’s no rolling. My one hope, to literally save my life, is in the hands of insurance who will not cover it. This drug slows and/or stops the constant progression the few of us with MS are burdened with. My hope was it would stop my arms from being taken from me, my hands, my sight, my voice, my sensation to touch, my ability to breathe on my own. To give me a chance…

I see people talking side effects etc, they will keep the MS if they can have the Benz!!! ARE THEY FUCKING KIDDING ME??? I will deal with the side effects, hell I’ll deal with anything if my Primary Progressive MS slows and/or stops progressing.

I’m out of options here. Once my arms go, I’m done. Yes, I said it… I’m done.

So a big FUCK YOU to the 1% who run the pharmaceutical companies. You are disgusting individuals and I pray karma comes knocking at your door… and she will!!

So, thank you, for taking away my only hope to save my life. May you all rot in Hell!

ocvrevusjoke

I started this blog with the hopes of chronicling my MS and my thoughts, etc.. Im realizing that with Primary Progressive MS, there is not much to chronicle. There are no more medications for me to try; hell there are no medications for PPMS. Wait, I’m lying. There is ONE possibly coming to a drug store near you, winter of 2017. But, not for me. Yes, it will be the first medication for PPMS, but I don’t qualify. My EDSS score is too high. I’m between 8 and 8.5. In other words, I’m too far gone! Well okay then.

I sit/lie here 90% of the time. I’m not even sure where I’m going with this entry. I’m not even sure why I’m even blogging it. Maybe out of boredom. I guess this is my personal diary that I just happen to share. A place for me to come back to and ‘remember’, the good and the bad. A place for me to vent. A place where I can say whatever the fuck I want.

I just wish I knew how to get my thoughts out of my head and onto here. A jumbled crazy ass rollercoaster is the only way to explain my thoughts.

“Outlook is grim”, has been the description of two doctors regarding my life now. Well no shit… But, did you have to say it out loud!! RUDE much. 😛 And, I know I know, anyone can die at anytime. They could walk out of their house and get hit by car. I get that. That would be easy. We start dying the minute we’re born if you want to get technical. Picture yourself  lying in bed 24/7 while your body slowly but surely dies daily from illness. It’s not for the weak. With PPMS, there is NO cure, NO remission, NO parole. So, the next time you want to use the ole. “well anyone can die just from blah blah blah”…don’t!! Above all… DO NOT compare one illness to another, especially if you, yourself, do not have said disease. You will never ‘get it’ unless you ‘get it’!

Scary part is that sometimes I really believe I’m going a bit mad. Seems par for the course…

madhere

Just when things seem to be getting better, BAM, it hits the fan. This why I can not ever be the shiny happy positive person others want me to be. And I try, but fuck a lot of that!

Unleash the flying monkeys!!

I’ve left 2 messages for my primary care doctors office manager. My doctor turned a specific issue I’m having over to her. We spoke when I was at my doctor a few weeks ago and she was supposed to get back to me. Nothing, nada, nil. I’ve called twice and left detailed messages for her to please call me back. And, I used my nice phone voice. Nothing, nada, nil. The issue is quite a big deal for me. What has happened in the last 30 years when it comes to doing what you say in the workplace. FUCK!!

Unleash the flying monkeys!!

Now, to get my pain meds, you always need a scrip every month, no refills… all thanks to the wonderful druggies out there that abused the medication, and the doctors dumb enough to believe them. Normally I go pick up the scrip at the office with a quick check in every month. So, I called yesterday to see when I can pick it up, and they said they’d talk to my doc and call me back. Bahahaha, you guessed it, no call back. I’ve been going to my neuro for 19 years. WTF. So I called back and they said my doc will be calling me back. I have a real illness that causes real pain. To bad I can’t fake it, maybe then I’d get the medication I need. FUCK!!

Unleash the flying monkeys!!

Why, just why… Come on Universe, cut me a fucking break. I have an aggressive form of primary progressive MS. NO treatments available to me. I’m bedridden with double stomas, degenerative disc, muscle spasms, tremors, constant numbness,  and unable to do basic things like roll over in my bed or even sit up. I deal with severe anxiety and depression, complete and utter loneliness. What fucking more do you want from me? Sometimes death sounds very inviting.

Unleash the flying monkeys!!

But, fuck you, I’m not a quitter. And now I’m just pissed off. Do not mistake my disability for weakness. My mind still works and is smarter than you. Look out, here I come!!

Too late!! mwahahaha

Too late!! mwahahaha

Oh what a World…

fuckuend

 

done

 

Story Of The Year – I’m Alive

My amazing daughter Ashley makes me some awesome mixed cd’s. This song resonates deeply with me. It’s about transformation. Don’t want to spoil it for you. It’s a great video and very powerful on all levels for me. While his transformation is not mine [ahem], my MS feels like this to me. It has taken over my body and soul and I’m ‘fighting’ to stay alive in a prison that is my own body.

The words are so powerful!

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“I’m Alive”

In the night I sit alone
Lifeless to the world I know
Faith loss long ago
In this graveyard I’m calling home
Carved into the stone
A diary of broken bones and
Words I should’ve known

But this grave’s too deep to ever make it up
I’d do anything, anything
Just to feel like I could reach the ground
I’d do anything, anything now
To spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound

I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So drag my lungs into the ground
Lay me down

In the night I sit alone
The stars rain on the world below
Beg me to explode
But these dreams I keep are nowhere to be found
I’d do anything, anything just to stop
This weight from pressing down
I’d do anything anything now
To spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound

I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So drag my lungs into the ground
Lay me down

Deep enough so that I’ll never feel again
Far beneath any chance at breaking skin
I’m giving in
All the promise of smiles and happiness
That’s a dream I’m not willing to admit
I’m not ready yet
To face regret
No I’m not ready yet
I’m not ready yet
No..
No..
No..

I’d do anything now
So spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound

I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I’m alive
But I’m barely breathing now
Tread my lungs into the ground
Lay me down..

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Peace