Category: Anger

Anger · chronic illness · healthcare · HELL · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings

Long time no see…

Tracy4 Comments

Life has been crazy. I wish I could say it was the kind of fun crazy, but sadly no. I’m still dealing with Independence Blue Cross regarding my hip surgery and the subsequent hip draining surgery. Now my husband is also dealing with Independence Blue Cross and their horrible service.

Independence Blue Cross actually approved some procedures for my husband and now they’re saying that we are responsible because the anesthesiologist was out of network. Excuse me Independence Blue Cross but are there monkeys working for your company? Although monkeys would probably be more intelligent. You approved it and if there was a problem with out of network doctors you should’ve said that. When you’re having procedures/surgeries you have no choice as to what doctors/Specialty doctors are used. So in essence Independence Blue Cross should pay for this. It has happened to me more than once and they went ahead and paid for it after my first appeal.

The amount of mental anguish and anxiety that Independence Blue Cross has caused us is unfathomable. Stress is not a friend of multiple sclerosis and I can feel myself getting worse. This past week I received yet another bill from the hip doctor stating I need to pay $4300. From what I’m finding out it’s because of the Precertification that the hospital is supposed to get before the surgeries. I was told by Accolade that this had been taken care of but obviously it has not. I was taken to the hospital via ambulance and they immediately admitted me due to the infection that was brewing in my leg. This was an emergency… An emergency… An emergency! How dare they say you should’ve gotten a precertification. I guess the doctors in the hospital should’ve just waited and see what happens. Hell Who cares if the infection takes over and you lose your leg, you’ve got two right! 🤦🏻‍♀️ BTW, Accolade is the go-between so Independence Blue Cross doesn’t have to talk to its members. My morning has been writing appeals through tears. The tears are not from sadness the tears are due to unmeasurable anger.

I believe what angers me the most is not the fact that Independence Blue Cross always tries to make me jump through hoops… It’s that now they’re doing this to my husband who has never had a problem before getting the neck and back injections that he so badly needs. What angers me as well is the fact that Comcast/NBC Universal does not make sure their employees have better healthcare! My husband has worked for that company for 23 years and this is the treatment he gets. Independence Blue Cross is based back east so most things become out-of-network. You also have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to be able to get a hold of anybody because we are three hours behind. It is absolutely disgusting that Comcast/NBC does not have insurance in our time zone to better help us get in touch with people. I guess we better hope that nothing bad happens to us at 2 PM or after because they are gone and out of the office at that time. I really believed when a certain person called me from Independence Blue Cross that I was going to finally get the help that I deserve since we pay good money to have their insurance. But, alas, nope! That person stopped taking my calls. A couple words come to mind… Spineless, unprofessional.

At some point something has gotta give. What I do know is if you have other options in getting your healthcare and Independence Blue Cross is one of your options, do not choose them, run as fast as you can, because unless you’re healthy and you don’t actually need insurance, they are the worst company in the United States of America. Medically, professionally, customer service wise, employee wise, you name it they are the worst! They treat you with nothing but disrespect. So please if you have other options choose those because I guarantee you will have better luck with anyone other than Independence Blue Cross.

I know I always sign off with have courage and be kind, and I do have courage but I can no longer be kind to those despicable people. I’m now off to look at legal options because I’ve been told by many through my Facebook channels that I have some. So we will see where that goes.

As per my health and regarding my hip and the hip contractures that are getting much worse, that’s not going very well. Because Independence Blue Cross does not allow me proper physical therapy I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get out of this bed. That’s not to say I won’t keep fighting and keep trying, but it’s looking more grim as the days go on. So if there’s any wealthy philanthropist that wants to help a girl out, hit me up. I’m a good listener because that’s about all you’re going to get. 😜

Tata for now… Have courage always! 🖤

Anger · Health · healthcare · Medical

Southwest Air Discriminates

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I am putting a couple pictures here of southwest policy for people with disabilities. If I wasn’t so angry right now, it would be a bit comical.

If approved! What this says to me is, you can apply but don’t expect to actually be allowed to fly. 🤔

I guess if I am one of the first people for this flight that purchases a ticket, I still may get booted off. Basically, we’re ready to go we have all the proper information with us… But wait the flight is now 50% full. We’re sorry but we are going to kick you off this plane until we have a plane that is less than 50% full. Excuse me, what?! My ticket was purchased, it’s not my problem that you decided to fill up your flight. We did everything you asked. Jumped through every hoop you wanted. That just isn’t good enough for Southwest Air. my friends complied with every one of their ridiculous rules. Bryan had both vaccinations, a negative Covid test, and two doctors notes. What more did they want, Cheri’s first born, or a sacrifice to the Gods?! 

My favorite thing is the fact that when passengers need to eat, their masks are allowed to come off. I guess while you eat Covid doesn’t leave you because it knows you’re eating food. Really Southwest air! If that is the case, you should have no food service on your airlines because you’re saying that federal law states you cannot be unmasked on their planes. Oh by the way, it isn’t a law. It has not gone through the courts to become a law. All this airline is doing is discriminating against a whole group of people with developmental disabilities. The best part, is you can only have one person on the flight that is exempt from wearing the mask. I guess if you have twins or more than one child with the disability, you have to take separate flights. I’m sorry, but whoever wrote this up and made these rules, is one incompetent buffoon! What Southwest did to my friends is against the law!

Now if he was physically two years old he could’ve flown. I guess two-year-olds and under do not carry Covid so it’s OK that they don’t wear a mask. I’m sorry but I’d be more concerned of a two-year-old whose parents are probably doing things when they’re at home to be carrying Covid, than my friend’s son who has done all of the precautions and does not have Covid, being on that flight. His life is basically quarantine even before all of this Covid. Trust me I’m one of the biggest proponents for wearing your mask and doing what you should do. But in this instance, what Southwest is doing, is wrong! Bryan would literally have been the safest person on that airline. Both vaccinations, negative Covid test, doctors notes. Someone needs to make this right! 



Anger · Multiple Sclerosis

Dear Anyone Who Wants to Bring Awareness to Discrimination against People with Disabilities

Tracy6 Comments

I tried to fly on Southwest Airlines today and had the MOST miserable experience. I have Multiple Sclerosis, as does my friend that I was traveling with (who drove 6 hours from Ohio last night to fly out today) and we were trying to go see our bedbound friend with MS in California. However, my friend who I was traveling with has a severely developmentally disabled son who is 22 years old but has the cognitive abilities of an 18-month-old; therefor he is physically unable to wear a mask. We even brought two doctor’s notes from Bryan’s physicians stating that he requires a medical exemption to the mask, a negative COVID test from with the past week, AND he has already had both COVID vaccinations.

We made it through checking our bags, multiple people at the security checkpoints, and 3 different customer service representatives during our 2+ hours at Midway airport and not until we were literally boarded on the plane (the entire plane actually ready to go) and THEN they conveniently asked if we had paperwork?!?!?!? After presenting them with ALL of our paperwork…they made us wait approximately 15 more minutes before the supervisor returned to advise us that we had to deplane. They forced 3 disabled people off a flight….someone needs to help us share our story so that this doesn’t happen to anyone else. I would appreciate any help you could offer in helping others like us. Thank you!

Anger · Health · healthcare · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

And here we go again… Part 2

Tracy3 Comments

You’re gonna love this one… I just received an explanation of benefits from Independence Blue Cross stating that they are not fully covering the ambulance ride from the hospital to the rehab center after my hip surgery. I guess I should’ve just hooked my bed up to a car and rolled over that way. Ummmm idiots, I have no choice as to who the case manager at the hospital decides to use for transport.

The best part, my husband told the caseworker not to use American medical response, and she did anyways. 😳

I also received a second explanation of benefits in regards to my hip surgery. Again, I should’ve pre-certified breaking my hip first before I got the surgery. Logically, I understand the concept of precertification, but not in this case. So, we should’ve waited a couple of days before doing the surgery as I was lying there with a broken hip? What exactly am I supposed to do about this? They need to take it up with the fucking hospital and not me.

Thank you to those sending me your horror stories dealing with Independence Blue Cross/Anthem Blue Cross, etc. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this as well. Trust me, we will be heard!

Yup, sharing this one again!
Anger · Fear · Health · healthcare · HELL · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Strength

And here we go again…

Tracy1 Comment

Oh Independence Blue Cross… You’re just disgusting! Seriously how do the people that work there sleep at night knowing what they’re doing to people on the other end. They are now telling me that I may be billed $5670.09 for my hip surgery because it was not pre-certified. So I guess I should’ve called them a couple days before my hip was broken to let them know that my hip was going to break. 😳 I know it’s not as simple as that, but come the fuck on! I seriously feel like they have my name on a list and it says, fuck with her so she goes crazy and dies. 😈

And contrary to what HR at my husbands work said, they only offer Independence Blue Cross and Kaiser, NOT United healthcare. And Kaiser doesn’t have an MS specialist so I am stuck with Independence Blue Cross. I will be looking into Medicare part B. We can’t really afford it, but I’ve got to do some thing.

I’m still trying to figure out why Comcast benefits called me directly. I think I’m going to call them back again and find out why. 🤔

I also had to send in an appeal for the ambulance ride in May after my suicide attempt. 😪 It’s really disgusting all the hoops you have to jump through when you have a chronic illness. Money is more important than human life. It doesn’t pay to be sick.

Anger · Fear · FUCK · Health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Religion · Sarcasm · Strength

Independence Blue Cross you never cease to amaze me.

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For a brief moment, I really believed today was starting out well. Then I receive a call from Independence Blue Cross. I guess they feel trying to take your life is not considered an emergency and they are fighting me on paying for my trip to the hospital. I feel like they should just come to my house and shoot me, point blank, in my head. It would be so much quicker and so much less painful for me. Basically they will not allow me to go anywhere to get proper physical therapy and they won’t even give me real visits for my home for Physical Therapy. We can’t continue to pay for private visits, we live paycheck to paycheck and can’t expect help for the visits forever. That speaks volumes to me about what is allowed in our country right now. Again, and I will scream it from the rooftops, I have never ever had this much trouble with my health care insurance until a certain orange idiot took over the White House. I think companies like Independence Blue Cross feel they can deny life-saving care for people because right now our government will allow it. Their internal doctors probably were not intelligent enough to get real jobs so they sit behind a computer to read papers regarding patients, without ever meeting the patient, and make life changing decisions.

At this time in my life I’m not too worried about karma since every day brings something more painful to my life. With that being said, I hope everyone of those people that is denying me the care I need has horrible and painful issues happen to them. I truly feel that’s the only way they will understand what it’s truly like to be chronically ill. Better yet, I hope it happens to someone they love so that they can feel just as helpless and lost as my whole family feels. Was that a bit harsh? Well you know what, it’s a fucking harsh world!



I don’t have over $5000 to be able to pay for that hospital visit. I shouldn’t have to pay for that hospital visit since we pay thousands of dollars a year to have Independence Blue Cross insurance. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. Well, I guess when you have no heart or soul it’s easy. Just remember that one day you disgusting people will have to answer for what you’ve done. While I don’t believe in the heaven and hell aspect of religion nor do I believe in the God that some believe in, if there were a hell… That’s where you people will end up! I’ll see you there, because you see I’m driving the bus… 

I will go on, and to those of you that are trying to blatantly and knowingly hurt my life, be prepared because winter is coming!

Have courage and be kind.

Anger · Fear · Health · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Strength

Tell me I cannot do something and I will show you that I can…

TracyLeave a comment

When that idiot of a doctor told me via FaceTime that there’s nothing more they can do for me, I am end-stage MS, and he’ll put in a call to hospice, I almost said “you’re right!” But after talking to some amazing friends and getting the best support in the world, he can kiss my fucking ass! Dr. Kareti at AV Neuroscience, you seriously pissed off the wrong woman. Telling someone over the phone that they are at their end, in a sense, was about the most disgusting thing a doctor could do. Aside from the fact the whole time he was shuffling papers on his table and talking to a nurse, what he did was unconscionable. What if I had been alone? What if I had no support system? He quite possibly could’ve sent someone over the edge by doing that. 

Now, I’m gonna show him just how incompetent and how wrong he is! Tell me I can’t asshole… I’m gonna show you I fucking can! You’ve just given me more strength than you know. I will admit that I was frightened of the places my mind went to after the phone call. But I made it through with so much help from my friends! I’m going to keep going even if I have to crawl.

I’m going to Keep fighting. One things for sure is I’m not going to be silent when I don’t receive the best healthcare possible. I have a remote call with my pain management doctor today and I will be informing him of the conversation I had with the neurologist. I’m curious to see if he’s going to agree with him or not. 

I’m tired, I’m scared, I’m frustrated, I’m angry, but the warrior in me is going to rise from the ashes, just like the Phoenix!!

Have courage and be kind.



Anger · Fear · FUCK · HELL · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Sadness · Strength

First do no harm…

Tracy7 Comments

I think doctors forget, or simply don’t care how they speak to their patients, and how those words can affect them. Tonight in a very blasé tone while shuffling papers and speaking with the nurse that was in the room via FaceTime, Dr. Kareti from AV neuroscience, told me I am end stage MS and there’s nothing more they can do for me. The humorous part is the that their doctors office is why I’m trapped in bed from pain from hip contractures. No one found the break at L1 when I fell October 2013 which landed me in the bed. No one got me the little kickstand boots to keep my legs in proper position.  I mean if I had known then what I know now I could’ve done all this stuff on my own. Unfortunately I’m not a doctor and that’s why I was going to doctors because I thought they would know what to do. And now, there’s nothing more they can do for me. Oh wait, I forgot, they can contact hospice for me… 

Oh oh oh… I tried telling him about the Physical Therapy fuck up and the visits or lack there of, and he just blew it off. I mean he was really busy looking at papers on his desk and handing things to the nurse. I must’ve interrupted him with my FaceTime appointment.

So to sum it the fuck up, basically because I have severe pain and am unable to get out of my bed, I should just throw in the towel.

Game on bitch!

Have courage and be kind

… I just read this again and I should probably just burn it down because the pain is terrible and the pain is just so intense right now I shouldn’t be blogging about anything. But I’m gonna leave it I just felt the need to say sorry. I’m a little lost and so angry. I seriously can never catch a break.

And like I always say;







Anger · Craziness · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

My doctor transport saga continues…

Tracy1 Comment

So… the only way I can get to my doctors is by gurney transport. I got the name of the people I used from the representative at Independence Blue Cross. I sent him the receipts explaining that it should be done at in-network rate blah blah blah. I received my explanation of benefits and it looks like procedure codes are missing etc. Seriously! 🤦🏻‍♀️ according to this they’ll only pay $100?! I don’t think so! I got the names of this service from the person that works in the executive offices at Independence Blue Cross. Then after I took these trips I was told that they don’t even cover these trips at all. WTF!! 😳 I’m dying over here at the incompetence of the people that work at Independence Blue Cross!



Oh my gosh and I almost forgot… so during this time I guess they will allow me FaceTime/phone appointments with my doctors. Although we’re not actually sure yet until they call my insurance company. So, if you’ll allow this now, why the fuck can’t I do FaceTime/phone appointments with my doctors all the time! I have a need for this, I am bedridden! I am unable to get out of my bed because Independence Blue Cross took me out of rehab much too early and fucked my life. And as we know they’re denying me rehab and have been denying me rehab since August of last year. I’ll be finding out in the next few days if in fact they will approve or deny my FaceTime/phone appointment set for next week. Independence Blue Cross, you damn well better allow me these over the phone appointments now and for as long as I will need them! 

So I’m going to be calling all of my doctors and getting over the phone appointments right now. I will also be getting my doctors together to get rehab going again! And NO Independence Blue Cross, my rehab won’t be done in the nursing home it will be done where I need it to be done, in an acute rehab facility! Are you so daft that you don’t understand I’ve been bedridden for over six years I need real help, not 10 to 20 minutes every couple of days!  Your doctors that work and get paid for by your company are incompetent buffoons if they don’t understand this. Money over human life! You’re all disgusting!

Have courage and be kind.



Anger · FUCK · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings

MS Awareness Month day 22

Tracy1 Comment

There really are not enough. I’m in a pretty dark place right now I’ve never been afraid of not being able to get out of it. But my problems at this time start with MS and of course that disgusting corporation Independence Blue Cross. I am very angry right now… SOOO angry. They are literally killing me right now by not allowing me the medical necessity rehab and the ability to get to my doctors. How do you people that are bedridden get to their doctors. I know, they go broke trying to pay for it on their own, Because Independence Blue Cross won’t. I’ve barely able to wake up the past few days because the fatigue from the stress and the depression is taking over right now. Fuck Independence Blue Cross fuck, the people that work for them that deny life-saving care just a big fuck you! I really hope Karma finds every last one of you and does her thing. Because you truly deserve what’s coming to you. I’m sorry but to work for a corporation where consciously know that you will be denying people life-saving care, you already have something fucked up in your make up. Because I know I could never work in a place like that, so yes, you’re already fucked up in the head. So sorry if this hurt anyone’s feelings… bahahaha no I’m not! I only speak the truth.

I’m sorry it’s a little dark today, but I can barely keep my eyes open and when they do open the tears just stream down my face. I’m angry and I’m broken and no one gives a fuck.

But no matter how I feel always, have courage and be kind. 🖤