Anger · Craziness · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

My doctor transport saga continues…

So… the only way I can get to my doctors is by gurney transport. I got the name of the people I used from the representative at Independence Blue Cross. I sent him the receipts explaining that it should be done at in-network rate blah blah blah. I received my explanation of benefits and it looks like procedure codes are missing etc. Seriously! 🤦🏻‍♀️ according to this they’ll only pay $100?! I don’t think so! I got the names of this service from the person that works in the executive offices at Independence Blue Cross. Then after I took these trips I was told that they don’t even cover these trips at all. WTF!! 😳 I’m dying over here at the incompetence of the people that work at Independence Blue Cross!



Oh my gosh and I almost forgot… so during this time I guess they will allow me FaceTime/phone appointments with my doctors. Although we’re not actually sure yet until they call my insurance company. So, if you’ll allow this now, why the fuck can’t I do FaceTime/phone appointments with my doctors all the time! I have a need for this, I am bedridden! I am unable to get out of my bed because Independence Blue Cross took me out of rehab much too early and fucked my life. And as we know they’re denying me rehab and have been denying me rehab since August of last year. I’ll be finding out in the next few days if in fact they will approve or deny my FaceTime/phone appointment set for next week. Independence Blue Cross, you damn well better allow me these over the phone appointments now and for as long as I will need them! 

So I’m going to be calling all of my doctors and getting over the phone appointments right now. I will also be getting my doctors together to get rehab going again! And NO Independence Blue Cross, my rehab won’t be done in the nursing home it will be done where I need it to be done, in an acute rehab facility! Are you so daft that you don’t understand I’ve been bedridden for over six years I need real help, not 10 to 20 minutes every couple of days!  Your doctors that work and get paid for by your company are incompetent buffoons if they don’t understand this. Money over human life! You’re all disgusting!

Have courage and be kind.

Anger · FUCK · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings

MS Awareness Month day 22

There really are not enough. I’m in a pretty dark place right now I’ve never been afraid of not being able to get out of it. But my problems at this time start with MS and of course that disgusting corporation Independence Blue Cross. I am very angry right now… SOOO angry. They are literally killing me right now by not allowing me the medical necessity rehab and the ability to get to my doctors. How do you people that are bedridden get to their doctors. I know, they go broke trying to pay for it on their own, Because Independence Blue Cross won’t. I’ve barely able to wake up the past few days because the fatigue from the stress and the depression is taking over right now. Fuck Independence Blue Cross fuck, the people that work for them that deny life-saving care just a big fuck you! I really hope Karma finds every last one of you and does her thing. Because you truly deserve what’s coming to you. I’m sorry but to work for a corporation where consciously know that you will be denying people life-saving care, you already have something fucked up in your make up. Because I know I could never work in a place like that, so yes, you’re already fucked up in the head. So sorry if this hurt anyone’s feelings… bahahaha no I’m not! I only speak the truth.

I’m sorry it’s a little dark today, but I can barely keep my eyes open and when they do open the tears just stream down my face. I’m angry and I’m broken and no one gives a fuck.

But no matter how I feel always, have courage and be kind. 🖤

Anger · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Strength

The Fabulous Insurance Saga Continues …

I would love to say that Independence Blue Cross is actually ‘working’ for me and that we have gotten my non-emergent transport taken care of. Unfortunately that’s not the case. I’ve actually been to a couple appointments using the non-emergent transport. Sadly I see future problems with this. When I called to get the pre-certification for transport I was told I wasn’t the one that should be calling 😳⁉️ I was informed that my doctor needs to call every and explain that I’m bedridden thus needing the gurney transport. Are they fucking kidding me? My doctor has to stop his practice to contact this ridiculous company to tell them that I am in fact, bedridden and need this service. Again, are they fucking kidding me? So I put a call in to Jason to see what we could do about this. We spoke for a couple days as he was trying to find out the correct information for me regarding pre-certification. On March 6 I was told he would call me back on Monday, March 9 and let me know how I go about it. My doctors appointment was for March 13 and he never called me back during that week. 🤔 My appointment at my doctors was on Friday the 13th. I was not going to cancel my appointment, so I went ahead and got my transport and will definitely be billing them for that trip as well. The total now out of my pocket thanks to no help from my insurance company, is $940. 

Should I have called him and asked why he wasn’t calling me back? That’s a big no. When someone tells me they’re going call me back, that’s what they’re supposed to do. I’m shocked at the incompetence of Independence Blue Cross and they are rent-a-docs and their employees. The worst part about all of this is it’s seriously is fucking with my health. I know I sound like a broken record, but without rehab I have nothing. I think it’s finally time I either, shit or get off the toilet… I know that analogy is not the best but 😂 I really am not over exaggerating when I say this is life or death for me. I think maybe it’s time I go public. I think it’s time I show people what companies like Independence Blue Cross do to people who truly need their help. I think it’s time I take back my life, adjust my crown, and remind people who the hell they’re dealing with.

I know this blog is kind of all over the place but I really feel like I’m losing my mind. I know I’ve said this before but I really feel like I’m on an episode of punked. Real life really is stranger than fiction. I just want to get better. I just need the proper medical help that my doctors feel I should have. Sadly no one gets it until they get it and the way these people are making me feel, I hope they do get it. 🤭 I really don’t like feeling that way but I do believe that for every person that is keeping life-saving medical care from me, because they’re putting money first, Karma will be introducing herself at some point. Good luck! 

Have courage and be kind.

Anger · Fear · Health · HELL · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Strength

My soul is tired but my will is strong…

Yesterday was an eye-opening experience for me being out of bed really for the first time since August 18, 2019. I am in so much pain today and sleep did not come easily last night. I now understand fully and completely that in-home therapy is not gonna help me at all. I need to be in a place where they re-train my body to move again and help me deal with the pain in my hips. It’s going to be a process and it has to be hard-core. I was up all night thinking about the night I fell on October 10, 2013 and how everything led up to where I am now. I need neurological physical therapy in a facility, NOT at home. I’m going to need the proper medications for the pain and I need to learn how to move again. When I say I’m like a newborn baby, I’m not being sarcastic. I know it’s hard to believe. 😊 I am now going to make an appointment with the neurologist so he gets on board with my pain management doctor about hard-core rehab. The ambulance service comes early Friday morning to take me to my pain management doctors appointment. I’m scared to death. I was only in my chair for a couple of hours and the edema was so bad yesterday it really freaked me out. I’ve never had it that bad. I know that I’m going to be in a lying down position, but that’s how my legs were yesterday I think it was more about the upper half of my body. I don’t even know how to explain it. What I have realized is if something doesn’t happen quickly I’m seriously screwed. I don’t think it’ll ever come back. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move right again unless something happens now. They’re hoping that I am too ill and too tired to fight. We all know it’s about money not about anybody’s health or well-being. I am tired. I am fed up. I am so close to breaking. But unfortunately for them, that’s when my strength shows up! This IS life or death for me. That’s not an overstatement! If something doesn’t change quickly I will not be here much longer. My body is breaking more and more every minute I’m trapped in this bed. Somethings got to give!! I know I know this is really in your face. But I will never back down from this because it is my life! I’ll say that again, this is my life! so now it’s time to get all my ducks in their proverbial row, get to all my doctors appointments via stretcher, and bring it! I’m seriously tired just thinking about it. Please universe give me strength!

Wait till they get a load of me! 😈

Have courage and be kind.

Anger · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

Round and Round We Go

I’m probably the only bedridden person that can actually jump through hoops. Actually I’m probably not. I got an email, not a phone call, giving me the same information regarding non-emergent transport. Not sure he actually spoke with them regarding accepting Blue Cross as only one of the three actually accept this insurance. I completely understand why the other two don’t, as Blue Cross doesn’t pay! That in itself is disgusting to me. I was told once I found one that could help me that I should call to get pre-certification. Today I did that with the one company that actually takes independence blue cross. But alas, it is not I that calls for the precertification. I called the pre-cert phone number which took me to Accolade, not Blue Cross. Accolade informed me that I need to go through my doctor to show proof that I need an ambulance ride to and from my doctor to be allowed this service. You know being taken by stretcher to and from my doctors. Yeah, because everyone wants to go by stretcher to their doctors appointments. Are they fucking kidding me?! The Accolade rep did help me out by calling and taking care of all of this BS for me. The first person that actually helped and has done what they say they’re going to do. And she isn’t even a Blue Cross employee. As of now, I have an appointment on the 28th and will be picked up at 7:30 AM so I can finally see my doctor again. But, I’m not holding my breath.

I wish I could say that I am no longer stressed regarding this, but this is only the beginning. I need to get to my neurologists office as well as my urologists office. I had to put off surgery to remove all the bladder stones because of my inability to get out of my bed. Yes I will say that again, I had to keep putting off my surgery because I could not get out of my bed and was turned away from Independence Blue Cross for inpatient rehabilitation. I wonder, do I have to go jump through these hoops every fucking time I need to see my doctor(s)? Do I need to prove that I need to go by stretcher again and again? I truly am disgusted by Independence Blue Cross. ^^ Me, every time I have to talk to these people and every time I have to send an email when they cannot return an actual phone call. And I will say it again and again, how the fuck do these people sleep at night knowing that they are withholding care from another human being that needs specific care?! I will get my inpatient rehabilitation! I will get the care that I need! I will not allow this despicable company to be in charge of my health care over my own doctors!  People we need to stand up and say no more! We need to write to our representatives, call them out, acquire an attorney if needs be, we need to say… We are not going to take this any more! Do I seem angry, a little pissed off… You have no idea! 

Have courage to those who try to keep you down, and be kind!! 

Anger · FUCK · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

Manic Monday – Insurance Saga

My lastest dealings with Independence Blue Cross was all about getting phone numbers from the representative at IBX  for non-emergent transport, PT places etc. Today I made my appointment, far in advance, for my pain management doctor. I called the non-emergent transport companies that were given to me from Independence Blue Cross. I know, redundant, here’s why… The first company I called told me they no longer take Blue Cross insurance. The second company I called said they no longer take Blue Cross insurance because they never get paid from Independence Blue Cross insurance. 😳 The third company said, you have to call the week of your appointment and then there are no guarantees that there will be availability. OK well that’s just fucking fantastic! So let’s recap; the phone numbers that I received from the representative at Independence Blue Cross were ALL dead ends. Now I could pay cash for one of them which would be $283 upfront and then $75 an hour for however long it takes for your appointment. Alrighty then I guess I’ll just pull that cash out of my ass. So tell me what the fuck is the point of having health insurance if it doesn’t help you. We pay thousands of dollars for this insurance and at this point they basically have told me to fuck off and die in my bed. I’m not even going to get into calling the physical therapy places, because talking to those people dropped my IQ many points. I just needed to know if they’ve dealt with people that have contractures things like that. Not one of them could answer the question. It was as if they were reading off a script, “All of our physical therapists are very good. They do their jobs well.” OK good for them, that’s not what I fucking asked you. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My first reaction to all of this this morning was to completely snap. But I held it together. I took deep breath’s and started uncontrollably laughing. I am so angry right now there is no way to even measure the anger that is boiling up inside of me. I know more than anyone, that it’s not good for me blah blah blah. But come the fuck on… Cut me a fucking break… Why can’t one thing work out for me like it’s supposed to. Why??!! I’ll tell you why, INCOMPETENCE!! I’m dealing with people that are reading out of a notebook that the insurance company gets them. I’m dealing with people that have no humanity. I’m dealing with people that would be happy if I just took it and died. Well I have news for you Independence Blue Cross, I’m not going anywhere in fact I’m going to be your worst fucking nightmare! This right here is the end of my rope. Please believe me when I tell you, you really have no idea what you’ve done! 

And as always, have courage and be kind! 

Anger · FUCK · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

Manic Monday – Insurance Saga

My lastest dealings with Independence Blue Cross was all about getting phone numbers from the representative at IBX  for non-emergent transport, PT places etc. Today I made my appointment, far in advance, for my pain management doctor. I called the non-emergent transport companies that were given to me from Independence Blue Cross. I know, redundant, here’s why… The first company I called told me they no longer take Blue Cross insurance. The second company I called said they no longer take Blue Cross insurance because they never get paid from Independence Blue Cross insurance. 😳 The third company said, you have to call the week of your appointment and then there are no guarantees that there will be availability. OK well that’s just fucking fantastic! So let’s recap; the phone numbers that I received from the representative at Independence Blue Cross were ALL dead ends. Now I could pay cash for one of them which would be $283 upfront and then $75 an hour for however long it takes for your appointment. Alrighty then I guess I’ll just pull that cash out of my ass. So tell me what the fuck is the point of having health insurance if it doesn’t help you. We pay thousands of dollars for this insurance and at this point they basically have told me to fuck off and die in my bed. I’m not even going to get into calling the physical therapy places, because talking to those people dropped my IQ many points. I just needed to know if they’ve dealt with people that have contractures things like that. Not one of them could answer the question. It was as if they were reading off a script, “All of our physical therapists are very good. They do their jobs well.” OK good for them, that’s not what I fucking asked you. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My first reaction to all of this this morning was to completely snap. But I held it together. I took deep breath’s and started uncontrollably laughing. I am so angry right now there is no way to even measure the anger that is boiling up inside of me. I know more than anyone, that it’s not good for me blah blah blah. But come the fuck on… Cut me a fucking break… Why can’t one thing work out for me like it’s supposed to. Why??!! I’ll tell you why, INCOMPETENCE!! I’m dealing with people that are reading out of a notebook that the insurance company gets them. I’m dealing with people that have no humanity. I’m dealing with people that would be happy if I just took it and died. Well I have news for you Independence Blue Cross, I’m not going anywhere in fact I’m going to be your worst fucking nightmare! This right here is the end of my rope. Please believe me when I tell you, you really have no idea what you’ve done! 

And as always, have courage and be kind! 

Anger · FUCK · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

Manic Monday – Insurance Saga

My lastest dealings with Independence Blue Cross was all about getting phone numbers from the representative at IBX  for non-emergent transport, PT places etc. Today I made my appointment, far in advance, for my pain management doctor. I called the non-emergent transport companies that were given to me from Independence Blue Cross. I know, redundant, here’s why… The first company I called told me they no longer take Blue Cross insurance. The second company I called said they no longer take Blue Cross insurance because they never get paid from Independence Blue Cross insurance. 😳 The third company said, you have to call the week of your appointment and then there are no guarantees that there will be availability. OK well that’s just fucking fantastic! So let’s recap; the phone numbers that I received from the representative at Independence Blue Cross were ALL dead ends. Now I could pay cash for one of them which would be $283 upfront and then $75 an hour for however long it takes for your appointment. Alrighty then I guess I’ll just pull that cash out of my ass. So tell me what the fuck is the point of having health insurance if it doesn’t help you. We pay thousands of dollars for this insurance and at this point they basically have told me to fuck off and die in my bed. I’m not even going to get into calling the physical therapy places, because talking to those people dropped my IQ many points. I just needed to know if they’ve dealt with people that have contractures things like that. Not one of them could answer the question. It was as if they were reading off a script, “All of our physical therapists are very good. They do their jobs well.” OK good for them, that’s not what I fucking asked you. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My first reaction to all of this this morning was to completely snap. But I held it together. I took deep breath’s and started uncontrollably laughing. I am so angry right now there is no way to even measure the anger that is boiling up inside of me. I know more than anyone, that it’s not good for me blah blah blah. But come the fuck on… Cut me a fucking break… Why can’t one thing work out for me like it’s supposed to. Why??!! I’ll tell you why, INCOMPETENCE!! I’m dealing with people that are reading out of a notebook that the insurance company gets them. I’m dealing with people that have no humanity. I’m dealing with people that would be happy if I just took it and died. Well I have news for you Independence Blue Cross, I’m not going anywhere in fact I’m going to be your worst fucking nightmare! This right here is the end of my rope. Please believe me when I tell you, you really have no idea what you’ve done! 

And as always, have courage and be kind! 

Anger · FUCK · Health · HELL · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sadness

Weird Wednesday

I was cruising the Internet and this picture popped up. It’s not meant to be sad it’s not meant to scare anyone. But I’m not going to spend another six years and three months in my bed. Without help, proper help, I’m never going to get out of this prison have a bed. My ankles suffer from dropfoot and contractures. My knees haven’t been able to straighten in about three years. And my hips I can’t even get in my Hoyer lift because of the pain. This has been going on for a very long time now and nothing has changed. I really thought my time in rehab in 2018 was going to save me. I fought so hard I did so well, then nothing. How do people that are bedridden see their doctors? I know they can call non-emergent transport, then try to coordinate that with their doctors appointments but first they have to make the calls to make sure it will be approved. Really? Making something hard even harder.

I wish I could be the shiny happy person that people want me to be. But that’s not gonna happen. I’m angry. I’m pissed off. I get it life‘s not fair blah blah blah. You know the people that say that to me… People with no chronic illness. I guarantee they wouldn’t last one day trapped in their bed not able to even get up to go to the bathroom, be able to roll over in their bed, or sit up without help. They would break the first 20 minutes.

Tears! 😂😂😂 No, if you could read my mind you would be screaming at the top of your lungs for help. I am so angry and I know that anger doesn’t help. But when every year it just gets worse, sorry I can’t put on that smile every fucking day for you. I’m angry about people who I see complaining all the time about the tiniest little things. Yes I’m an asshole. I can’t sugarcoat shit every fucking day. I really just want it all to end. I really really want freedom. I’m so tired of being in prison for a crime I never committed.

Have courage and be kind

Anger · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Strength

Down with the Sickness Tuesday

Yes we do. My daughter was diagnosed with type A flu yesterday. People at my husbands work we’re also diagnosed type A flu. On Sunday I was not feeling very well. Yesterday my fever was going from 100 up to 102 and finally broke at 2 AM. NyQuil take me away! Oh that stuff is the bomb. You need nothing else.

Unfortunately I’m pissed. I called my neurologist because in the 23 years I’ve been going to him since diagnosis, I’ve always been told to call when things like this happen. Being that I have a compromised immune system and I’m over 50 the type a flu can be dangerous. I put in a call to my doctor last night. The receptionist said, “You know this is a neurologist office right?” No really? Oh my God I had no idea! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I felt like saying you know you work at a neurologist office and things like this can be very dangerous for people with a compromised immune system. But, I didn’t. She sent me off to leave a message with my doctor’s nurse. I left a message I heard nothing back. I just called a little bit ago I left another message. A little more blunt and to the point. When (If) they call back I’m also going to remind them about a medication refill I called about sometime ago and a fax that they needed to send out for me. Neither happened. I would’ve forgotten about those things if this hadn’t happened and upset me so. After 23 years with this doctor today I’ve been looking for other neurologists. I really need to get to UCLA but until I can get out of my bed without pain, I don’t think my insurance company will cover a non-emergent transport. What do people like me do? How do people that are bedridden get to the doctors and get the help they need? Sadly, I don’t think it matters… sadly I don’t think we matter…

Have courage and be kind!