Anger · FUCK · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

Manic Monday – Insurance Saga

My lastest dealings with Independence Blue Cross was all about getting phone numbers from the representative at IBX  for non-emergent transport, PT places etc. Today I made my appointment, far in advance, for my pain management doctor. I called the non-emergent transport companies that were given to me from Independence Blue Cross. I know, redundant, here’s why… The first company I called told me they no longer take Blue Cross insurance. The second company I called said they no longer take Blue Cross insurance because they never get paid from Independence Blue Cross insurance. 😳 The third company said, you have to call the week of your appointment and then there are no guarantees that there will be availability. OK well that’s just fucking fantastic! So let’s recap; the phone numbers that I received from the representative at Independence Blue Cross were ALL dead ends. Now I could pay cash for one of them which would be $283 upfront and then $75 an hour for however long it takes for your appointment. Alrighty then I guess I’ll just pull that cash out of my ass. So tell me what the fuck is the point of having health insurance if it doesn’t help you. We pay thousands of dollars for this insurance and at this point they basically have told me to fuck off and die in my bed. I’m not even going to get into calling the physical therapy places, because talking to those people dropped my IQ many points. I just needed to know if they’ve dealt with people that have contractures things like that. Not one of them could answer the question. It was as if they were reading off a script, “All of our physical therapists are very good. They do their jobs well.” OK good for them, that’s not what I fucking asked you. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My first reaction to all of this this morning was to completely snap. But I held it together. I took deep breath’s and started uncontrollably laughing. I am so angry right now there is no way to even measure the anger that is boiling up inside of me. I know more than anyone, that it’s not good for me blah blah blah. But come the fuck on… Cut me a fucking break… Why can’t one thing work out for me like it’s supposed to. Why??!! I’ll tell you why, INCOMPETENCE!! I’m dealing with people that are reading out of a notebook that the insurance company gets them. I’m dealing with people that have no humanity. I’m dealing with people that would be happy if I just took it and died. Well I have news for you Independence Blue Cross, I’m not going anywhere in fact I’m going to be your worst fucking nightmare! This right here is the end of my rope. Please believe me when I tell you, you really have no idea what you’ve done! 

And as always, have courage and be kind! 

Friday · Movies · Multiple Sclerosis · Politics · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength · Stupid Stuff

Thank God it’s Friday Feelings

TGIF bitches! Technically Friday doesn’t mean much to me. My days all roll into one. I have to look at my iPhone calendar every day so I know what day of the week it is, as well as the actual date. The only good thing about Fridays is that my husband is home on the weekend. OK sometimes that’s not a good thing. OK OK I’m just kidding. (or am I) 😈

This past week has been pretty uneventful. I did have a couple of really good meltdowns. Quite frankly sometimes they really do help. I spend my days playing in Facebook, putting my headphones on and cranking up my music as loud as they can go, reading when my eyes permit it, and of course television. I have pretty much every channel and streaming service known to man. Even then most of the time there’s nothing on. I keep my TV on all the time. Mostly it’s for background noise so I don’t fee so alone. But there really is only so much of the idiot box you can watch before you go absolutely insane. I stay away from the news channels for the main reason I cannot stand listening to the orange guy in the White House. Every time I hear him speak my IQ drops a few points. I prefer talking to my dog. The conversation is much more intelligent. there you have it… I don’t talk politics on here but now you know how I feel. Sorry, not fucking sorry at all! 

Now I am going to get lost in Bridget Jones’s Diary. To all reading, I hope you have a wonderful weekend! As always, have courage and be kind!

Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Strength

Thursday Thoughts

Sadly people with chronic illness do this all the time. We do it because we know others don’t REALLY want to know how we REALLY feel. We know when you ask us, “How are you?“ That you don’t want us to get down to the nitty-gritty. The answer you want is the one we give, “I’m fine.”

Let’s face it that’s the easiest answer to give. I’ve literally watched peoples eyes glaze over when I do tell them how I REALLY feel. When that happens I usually just stop talking and ask them how they are. Trust me, they love to talk about how they are. And that’s OK. It’s human nature.

Have courage and be kind…

Anger · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Strength

Down with the Sickness Tuesday

Yes we do. My daughter was diagnosed with type A flu yesterday. People at my husbands work we’re also diagnosed type A flu. On Sunday I was not feeling very well. Yesterday my fever was going from 100 up to 102 and finally broke at 2 AM. NyQuil take me away! Oh that stuff is the bomb. You need nothing else.

Unfortunately I’m pissed. I called my neurologist because in the 23 years I’ve been going to him since diagnosis, I’ve always been told to call when things like this happen. Being that I have a compromised immune system and I’m over 50 the type a flu can be dangerous. I put in a call to my doctor last night. The receptionist said, “You know this is a neurologist office right?” No really? Oh my God I had no idea! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I felt like saying you know you work at a neurologist office and things like this can be very dangerous for people with a compromised immune system. But, I didn’t. She sent me off to leave a message with my doctor’s nurse. I left a message I heard nothing back. I just called a little bit ago I left another message. A little more blunt and to the point. When (If) they call back I’m also going to remind them about a medication refill I called about sometime ago and a fax that they needed to send out for me. Neither happened. I would’ve forgotten about those things if this hadn’t happened and upset me so. After 23 years with this doctor today I’ve been looking for other neurologists. I really need to get to UCLA but until I can get out of my bed without pain, I don’t think my insurance company will cover a non-emergent transport. What do people like me do? How do people that are bedridden get to the doctors and get the help they need? Sadly, I don’t think it matters… sadly I don’t think we matter…

Have courage and be kind!

Hope · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Strength

Sunday Feelings – Find the Positive

This seems like an easy concept but in reality it can be very hard. I was 53 years old when the positivity 💡turned on. I’m still a work in progress as negativity still pops up daily. I’m really trying to turn it around and find that positive. I’ll get there eventually. Things like this happen when we’re ready. I will be 56 in March, so better late than never. #MotivationApp

Have courage and be kind…