Author: Tracy

A day in the life of a mommy, wife, daughter, sister, aunt and friend with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis!
FUCK · Health · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · RANDOM · Sarcasm · Silly · Strength

Warning: Pissy Bitch Alert!!!

Tracy12 Comments

I know, what’s new? 😛

Here’s the deal, I have pendants ready to be added to chains and crystals ready to added to that. Last night I made the prettiest cameo necklace and then realized the chain I used was antique copper and the pendant was antique brass. DOH! I spent so much time on it and was so discouraged… took pics, got em all ready, and went hmmm, doesn’t look right. Looked at hubby, threw my hands ups, and rolled back to my room. I think it was karma [or the Norco] as I should not be out at my table right now. My legs, left mostly, will not stop swelling up. I’ve been keeping them elevated and everything and they/it will not go down. HATE kankles!!! I do not want to tell my neuro because every time this has happened in the past, he sends me to the ‘Big House’ [hospital] for a 3 day IV Solumedrol vacation. I WILL NOT do steroids any more. Sorry!!

The worst part is the pain in my right shoulder going down my arm. After a few minutes at the design table the pain starts. Might be a tendon or something. Too scared to find out and no way to get to the doctor. It’s tough on Roger to take so much time off work for me, and not fair to him. I must say, I’m really loving my Norco right now.

My Precious!!!

What sucks is I cannot sleep on my left side, hip pain. I can’t sleep on my back, DD [degenerative disc] so, I have to sleep on my right side. Soooo not fair!! Someone cut me a break please!!

Yes, I’m having a “Pity Party”, and all are welcome!!

I’m just so tired of being sick and tired. This was not supposed to be my life. I know, it is, deal with it, right? Easier said than done. I’ve had people say that it happened to me because I am so strong. They say that if it had happened to them, they would have crumbled. Um, Thanks, I think. I’m really not as strong as some think…

On a lighter note… yes I know, Random! A little funny for your day/night:

Classic! rofl

Or, as the Fabulous Vicki would say…A good day is when I don’t roll over and crunch someone’s toes!! 😉 Click on her name and visit her blog, it’s awesome!!

Peace Out!! xx

Hope · Movies · Ramblings · RANDOM · Silly

Baa hahahahaaaaa HA!

Tracy4 Comments

Cannot figure out why I’m so ‘giddy’ today after the not-so-great news I got from my doctor yesterday. I think I am finally losing it… Funny how losing it feels kind of good.

Picture in your head, Tom Hanks, Money Pit, bathtub falling through floor losing it!!

And now a grammar lesson. If you can’t find something, you lose it. If something is not tight it’s, loose. Lose, losing, loose, loosening. I know random… Damn, hope I’m right!! 😛

xx, Tracy…
Anger · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Ramblings · RANDOM · Sarcasm

Another Med Bites the Dust… Hey Hey!

Tracy13 Comments

Figures, right? Another med bites the dust. I was really beginning to think this one may be the one. Not so much, My liver count went up more, 3rd month in a row, so now the Tysabri will stop. Wonder when the next miracle drug will come out? **insert sarcasm…

figures…

Why I tried it in the first place is beyond me. It’s mainly for RRMS [relapsing-remitting] not for PPMS [primary-progressive]. That’ll teach me to think a new med will work for me. Now we’ll see what the new game plan is; new med, try it again later. I have taught myself NEVER to get my hopes up, sadly this time I did not listen. I feel like I’m mourning a death of some kind. The death of a new beginning? I don’t know… Hopefully if I try another ‘miracle’ drug it will utilize my port. roflmao Now what… do I have it removed, keep it in just in case? Again, I don’t know. Not sure how many more medication let-downs my heart can take. It’s been six thus far. Fuuuuuuuuck, fuck, fuck!!

Not quite sure what to do with myself… hmmm my bed looks comfy…

Peace out! xx

Health · Multiple Sclerosis · Music · Ramblings · RANDOM

Spending the day in bed…wanna join me?

Tracy14 Comments

Believe me, it’s not as glamorous as it seems. Now, if I had Gerard Butler fanning me and feeding me chocolate covered strawberries, that would be okay!!

Hello Gerard!!

The reality is not so lovely. Hubby says no design table or being out in the front until my legs stop swelling. I know he’s right, but I’m not happy about it. My mind is clear, but my body is in pain. This is when it sucks to be me. Mentally I can do anything, but when the body won’t cooperate it’s no bueno! 😦 There are only so many movies to watch and books to read. I’ve heard it said that only boring people are bored. SORRY, but that is bullshit! My boredom comes from my MS and being trapped in my own body. In my mind I can get up and go, my body says nope!

It’s during these times when I have to find my inner strength so I don’t fall into a deep depression. Finding it sometimes is a hard thing to do. Eventually, it shows up…

So, here I am in bed, with my MAC [only link to the outside world], my TV, and 3 of my fur-babies lying all over me. I guess I should be happy…they are actually sharing THEIR bed with me! 😛

xx, Tracy...

Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Ramblings · RANDOM

Did anyone get the number of the bus that hit me?

Tracy10 Comments

Wow, that’s what I feel like right now. Legs swelling, migraines, tingly all over my arms. This is the price I pay for doing what I love; making jewelry. Seriously…

When I make my jewelry I sit for hours at my design table in the front. Long periods of sitting wreak havoc on my body. I know, must sound strange since I live my life in a wheel-chariot. The difference is, when not making jewelry, I switch positions a lot. Lie in my bed legs elevated, switch to my chair for a bit then back in bed. Now, I know I could take breaks, but once I get in the ‘mood’ nothing can break me away from my table. I can’t start something without finishing it. Type A here people! Being ill didn’t change that, just makes it harder for me.

I was making things non-stop from Tuesday thru Friday. Friday night it started. My left leg looked like a watermelon and my right arm and shoulder pain brought me to tears. Thank God for Norco and Soma! 😉 No real sleep that night and Saturday was not much better. Did a few things then hubby said enough. I knew I must have felt bad as I never listen to the hubby! lol Sunday the arm/shoulder pain was gone [phew], but the fucking migraine would not go away!! Spent the day in my bed, legs elevated, and highly medicated. Got in trouble as I have to get on the net, even if it’s just for a few, to post and share animals in need. Hubby knows not to tell me no to that! 😛

Well, here’s Monday… Supposed to go for my 9th Tysabri infusion. Legs still have swelling, migraine still lingering and arm tingles came back. Now waiting to see if my liver count is ok to continue the Tysabri. Hopefully they’ll call me back. As it stands I go Friday I’ll find out. JOY!

BUT…

Did get some new things going on in my shop, so it’s not all bad!

A few examples below!

Butterfly Cameo Necklace
Red Awareness Cell/Purse Charm

Well peeps, back off to my bed!! Hope everyone is doing well!!

Peace out!! xx

Multiple Sclerosis · Ramblings

Sometimes being positive can be so depressing…

Tracy9 Comments

As some of you know I am re-vamping my jewelry shop. I’m starting to sell off beads and findings and things at my supply shop. I’ll be making glass pendants and wire wrapped bracelets now. Intricate beading is much too hard as my hands have a bitch of a time hanging on to the tiny parts.

I have been so excited as I thought of another type of jewelry to make for my shop, stamping. I purchased an amazing set to get me started.

FUN!! Not so much...

Well… here’s where the other shoe drops! I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough to hammer the lil buggers hard enough to get a good indentation. WTF!!! Every time I get all positive and excited something fucks it up! Mainly, MS fucks it up! I even tried a heavier hammer to no avail. If I go any heavier I’m afraid I’ll pound off my thumb. 😛 And stupid me bought more blanks BEFORE I tried it out. DOH! I really felt that I could do this and expand my jewelry design. I was all stoked and ready to do awareness pieces…hmmm!! Oh well,  I won’t give up right away as I can be relentless. Just don’t expect to see any of this type of jewelry any time soon…

Well, I’m off to hide under my covers and scream!

Peace out!

RANDOM · Silly · Stupid Stuff

My Train of Thought Has Left the Station

Tracy2 Comments

It’s been one of those long strange days. The Red Bull didn’t help either. Figured since it helped my fatigue yesterday, it would help again today. Not so much… Woke me up but good, with the shakes and jitters. Trust me I get those without the Red Bull… With it was like being on meth, or so I’m told! 😛 Never again. I love the taste as they have that smarties candy thing going on. But, never again.

I did get a new necklace listed at my jewelry shop and some more supplies up at my supply shop. Guess that’s a good thing. Doing anything I can to shake the blues.

My weight is taking its toll on me. No matter how good I eat I’m staying the same. At least I’m not gaining anymore, right? I’m not liking this being ‘heavy’ thing. It’s new to me and I know if not for the fucking MonSter, I’d still be thin and active. I try so hard to find the good in everything and take it all in stride, but nothing seems to be helping. A tummy tuck and boob reduction might help! 😉 I need to find a sugar daddy…

I know… blah, blah, blah!! Well, before I break out in to song, I’ll leave with something that is totally the snarky me:

This says it all!!

Peace y’all!

Happiness · RANDOM · Sarcasm · Stupid Stuff

It’s a long day in the neighborhood…

Tracy4 Comments

It’s been a long day. Got some supplies photographed and listed in my Etsy Supply Shop. Bills done and sorted. May not sound like much, but sitting all day in my chariot gets uncomfortable. And, sadly my Red Bull euphoria has worn off. Coming down hard! 😉

My legs are now swelling up, so cutting this short.

A lil funny for your night/day…

YUP!! All the time! lolol

Later Gators!