FUCK · Health · HELL · Love · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Strength

MS and the Losses We Suffer

Facebook has brought me together with some fabulous people who battle the MonSter with me. Heather Leffel is an amazing young woman who shares so much of herself and of the struggles we, fighting MS, go through. Recently she did a video on “MS and the Losses We Suffer“. Together, with Kate Milliken, a video was compiled of excerpts from people suffering from MS [all types] and the losses they have experienced.

I am honored to be a part of this amazing project! I believe the Universe sends us messages from time to time, when we truly need them. I have been going through a very rough time as of late. I was losing hope… Then, BAM, the finished video showed up on my FB feed. As I watched it through my tears, I felt the hope returning to my soul. I was so inspired by those who shared their hearts.

So, without further ado…


Family · Halloween · Happiness · Holiday · Hope · Ramblings · RANDOM



Have a fun and safe Evening! Keep your furbabies safe and away from opening doors.


Last night was the pumpkin carving party at Don’s house. Here are the wonderful pumpkins that were carved. It was a fun time for all.


I started out dressing like a Vampire, but the wig cap/wig gave me a headache. My fitted Vampire teeth were a pain in the mouth! lol


So, ended up as a Witch. The lace on my hat is over 90 years old. It was my Nana’s. There is also a black rose with it. This is my favorite Witch hat. Yes, I have more than one. 😛


Hat made in 2008. Still my fav!!
Hat made in 2008. Still my fav!!

My fabulous make-up was done by Steph. She made me look damn good for a 51 year old. lol

Even with the pain, I had so much fun! I have let fear, being self-conscious, and embarrassment from my illness stop me from doing so many things. I know there will be times when my condition will keep from doing certain things. It makes me sad to not be able to be ‘normal’. One thing is for sure; I am blessed with a support team that always has my back. They never give up on me, even when I give up on myself. I am one of the lucky ones!

A Happy Halloween to all!

Love and Light!

Animal Rescue · Family · Ramblings

Sad day indeed…

As I logged on to FaceBook today I read a very sad post. An amazing lady, animal advocate, and friend had passed away on Thursday.

Lisa Myer gave of herself daily in order to save the lives of animals in shelters. It never mattered the breed, or the circumstances, it was all about the unconditional love she had for these amazing creatures.

I never got the honor to meet her in person, but I knew her in the animal advocate community for quite some time now. She will missed by so many in the community.

My deepest sympathies go out to her family during this time. She was a person who felt deeply in regards to the inhumanities against our beloved 4-legged babies. She took her cause to heart.

I will not get in to the circumstances of her death here. It is tragic and will take time for those who loved her to understand. All I know is Heaven must have needed and new angel. I know in my heart when she got to the bridge, she was met by many sloppy wet kisses from the animals she fought for and those she loved. She will be advocating from her new resting place, and I truly hope she found the peace and serenity she so deserved.

If you knew Lisa and would like to join the FaceBook memorial to her, please click here.

R.I.P. Lisa



Warm Fuzzies!

TY Jenny for sharing this with me! Sending you some warm fuzzies!


The story goes:
Once upon a time there was a village. All of the people in the village got along very well. There was kindness, love, compassion, and justice. Every person in the village owned a special bag. It was given to them by their parents at the age of 3. Inside this bag were hundreds of warm fuzzies. Warm fuzzies were soft, cuddly, cottony little puffs. When you gave someone a warm fuzzy, they felt warm and fuzzy inside. People in the village gave each other warm fuzzies anytime they wanted to let someone know they were loved. When someone received a warm fuzzy, they put it in their bag.

One day, an evil sorceress came to town. She saw that everyone was giving out these warm fuzzies from their bags and she didn’t like it. She went up to one villager and said, “Why do you keep giving away your warm fuzzies? Aren’t you afraid you’re going to run out? Here, take this bag of cold pricklies and give these to the people in your village instead, and keep all your warm fuzzies for yourself.” The villager took the bag because he believed the sorceress’ tale. The next time he ran into a friend, he handed him one of the cold pricklies from his new bag. A cold prickly made someone feel cold and prickly inside, like they were swallowing a pin cushion. Soon all the villagers went to the sorceress and asked for their own bag of cold pricklies since they didn’t want to be the only people handing out warm fuzzies if everyone else was going to hand out cold pricklies. Once you had a cold prickly, you wanted to give it away to someone else as fast as possible.
The sorceress was pleased. Her plan was working perfectly. Now the village was in a state of fear and panic. Everyone started avoiding everyone else so they wouldn’t be given a cold prickly. People hoarded their small supply of warm fuzzies and didn’t give them out to anyone anymore. But no one was happy anymore either.

One day a prince arrived in town and almost immediately someone handed him a cold prickly from their bag. The prince, recognizing the cold prickly, refused to take it. The villager was surprised and tried again. The prince handed the person a warm fuzzy from his bag. The villager was surprised, and a little ashamed that he had tried to give this warm prince a cold prickly and instead received a warm fuzzy.
The prince addressed the crowd and said, “Why do you give each other cold pricklies?” One villager said, “Why should we give away all of our warm fuzzies? Shouldn’t we keep them for ourselves?” Other villagers agreed. But the prince said, “Every time you give away a warm fuzzy a new one is created in your own bag. Don’t you see? The more you give away, the more you will have.”
To demonstrate, the prince had everyone put down their bag of cold pricklies and retrieve their bag of warm fuzzies from their homes. He asked everyone to take out a warm fuzzy from their bag and hand it to a neighbor. This they did, but warily. Then the prince told them to notice that they all still had the same amount of warm fuzzies in their bags as before. People started giving away more warm fuzzies and noticed their bag was never empty. There were indeed enough warm fuzzies for everyone.

The sorceress was very upset and tried to interrupt the prince and get everyone to give out cold pricklies again. But the villagers didn’t want to listen anymore. They threw all their bags of cold pricklies into a wagon, set the sorceress inside it, and sent her out of town.

The villagers realized they’d learned a valuable lesson.
When you give someone a warm fuzzy, they in turn will give it to someone else. Eventually, it will come back around to you.

sharing some warm fuzzies!

Note from Jenny: Tracy, you have given away more warm fuzzies to more people than you will ever realize. I give my entire bag to you today~surround yourself in their warmth and just smile and snuggle.

xx, Tracy...
Happiness · Health · Love · Multiple Sclerosis · Ramblings · Sarcasm

Bringing in 2011

I haven’t blogged much as of late… not much to say.

best to be quiet

This past year has been one of those roller-coaster rides you just want to get off. A not-so-fabulous hellish hospital stay, a few bad MS months, the waiting for the shower to be done, and just normal FML things.


There is also the roller-coaster rides you never want to end. The love and support shown during and after my hellish hospital stay and during the bad MS months. Thanks to a couple of Angels, we are debt free and finally getting caught up. [so hoping the other shoe does not drop] I know, pessimism at its finest. I’m trying, lol

This year has also brought true friendships to light and I am so blessed with them. And yes, you know who you are.

I have no resolutions as I never keep them. I just hope for my MS to slow down before it puts me in a home. But, if the home is in an asylum, I might find it kind of cool. Free meds… need I say more. Wonder if they have wireless access…

So, I really don’t have much to say yet again.

I just wanted to wish all my family, friends, and anyone who needs a wish, A very happy and wonderful 2011. May all your dreams come true.

One lil thing too, remember to be a bit kinder and caring to those who may be struggling in their life. We never know what smiles may be hiding…

Hope · Love · Multiple Sclerosis

MS Walk 2010 and The Light Fandango Candle Co.

MS Compassionate Candles

Most of you know I have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. My good friend, Lu, owns an amazing candle company http://lightfandangocandles.com .

This is her second annual fund raiser for my Walk on April 18th. [donations can be taken through May]

For 30.00 [which includes s/h] she is offering this awesome MS Compassionate Candle Basket. 2.00 from every purchase will go to my walk.

If purchasing candles of this quality in a store you would pay well over 40.00.

Her candles hold the scent and burn fabulously.

Tell her mztracy sent ya! ♥

Blessings and Hope!


NBC Universal and my MS Walk 2010

MS Walk 2010

This year at my hubbies work they had their 2nd Annual MS Walk Bake sale to raise money for our team, Tracy’s MSKateers.

The Bake Sale

What I did not know is that not only were they raising money for the walk, but also for my shower fund!! I was supposed to go into his work that day, but when I woke up that morning I did not feel so good. After a bit, I got to feeling better and called my original ride, but she had already made new plans. Which was ok as it was beginning to rain, and me no like driving in the rain! lol

Anywho, I get an email from Bobbi, one of the amazing girls who put this all together, with pics of the table and some of the crew.

Money, money, money, money, money! M-O-N-E-Y!

Then I got this email:

We heard about your bathroom renovation and think it’s a great idea and something you really deserve.
We decided to pitch in the $1500 we raised today towards getting it done.
It’s a done deal and don’t even think about saying “no”.

Love you,
Tracy’s MSkateers

Hubby had me on speaker phone and through tears all I could get out was, ‘Thank you so much!’ I was so surprised and so overwhelmed.

I’m thinking my shower dream is really going to happen. Monday, April 5, is the estimate date. I’m so excited.

We are so blessed with amazing friends and family.

My dream started At Fabulously 40 and Beyond after I had done a blog on my trials of taking a simple shower. A fabulous member, Judy, got the word out and they raised 1100.00 for my bathroom fund. It has been a long time coming, but I see my shower in sight!!

cool beans

I feel so heart full right now!!

Blessings and Hope!

Hope · Ramblings · RANDOM

A True OMFG moment!!

So, yesterday I was just hanging out in my room, on my bed and cruising around the net on my MAC.

My doggies:


… decided they wanted to go out. This, for me, is a feat. With all three of them jamming the door, I cannot get my WC in to open the slider. So, I hang on to my laptop table, file cabinet and try and step over to get the door. I am getting pretty good at it except for when they get really excited and knock me over. Well, yesterday, I started to fall and my laptop table got pushed against the file cabinet where I had a candle on a candle heater. OMFG, smash, bam, boom… I looked down and the table had knocked over the candle and it went all over the place. Now, if it had just gotten on my carpet, no biggie… BUT…it got on my I Love Lucy lap table and the worst…my UGG slippers that a truly inspiring woman gave to me as a present!! 😦

I was so upset and completely out of my mind. Called my amazing hubby who said not to worry we WILL get them fixed no matter what it takes. He loves me so!! 🙂 Today I did get some off of the wax off of them. I have UGG cleaners, brushes and all the gear needed, but I am going to find an actual place that cleans UGG.

On the good side, they did not get on the inside, so I am still wearing them. Woo Hoo!! I have 4 pair of UGG boots and these slippers. The slippers are my favs as the inspiring woman who gave them to me, means the world to me. No matter what happens, I will wear these until the soles fall off. [which will be never as they are UGG’s!

For those who care, I will keep you update on my UGG cleaning endeavor!!

Blessings and Hope!!

Anger · HELL · PAIN

Wanting me to be real…

WARNING!!!! “F” bomb alert!!

So for many years I hid my pain in jokes, sarcasm and laughter. It was easier for me and less upsetting for those around me. So many people told me, “Be Real” “Tell the truth about your pain” “Ask for help”…

So, in the past year or so I tried this route only to have it thrown back in my face. Now, when I show my pain, being real, I’m told it’s for sympathy, poor me shit. REALLY! Fuck off please. I have never asked for anyone’s pity, sympathy or the poor me pour me a drink bullshit! Yet for years I listened to others pain and tried to help in any way I could. Now I’m the bad person. Again I say Fuck off please.

Then I got the, I’ll show people the real you, I’ll copy and paste emails. Really, go ahead doctor up your emails. you are the only one that will look like a childish buffoon. As for the ‘people’ who talk the shit and tell the lies…come forward, say it to me. But no, you just block me as you know damn well I will say it to your face, no need to lie or go behind any ones back. That’s all of your jobs. And for those who talked all the shit to this person, de-friend me, block, stay the fuck away from me. You are liars and pathetic. So, you all deserve one another. And if it’s who I think it all is, stop emailing me as well with your BS about this said person. Just leave me the fuck alone. Get rid of my email, my phone numbers etc., oh and grow the FUCK up! You all know who you are and you all know the ‘real’ truth.

I truly hate being this person, this angry person. And after this, hopefully these 2 faced ignorant assholes will back the fuck off and move on. I have not changed and am the same person I have always been. Love me or leave me. Ask me a question and I will tell you the truth.

I am sorry for those reading this and seeing me being this angry person, but I am so tired of being certain people’s punching bag. I have enough of my own problems, health and otherwise, so it is time this was said. I will not allow any of you to hurt me and cause me to become ill due to all the stress. And if you feel the need to comment here again, it won’t come through. If any of ya feel the need to email me, it won’t be read. So don’t waste your time or energy. Just FUCK off please.

I know the person I am and the friend I am, maybe you should look in the mirror and figure out who you are. Remember each time you point your little finger at me there are 3 pointing back at you.

I pray for you and hope that one day you will find the happiness and peace you need. I have my peace and my happiness in my family and my real friends. So really there is no need for you or room for you anymore.

When it all falls apart…I won’t be here next time. Once bitten, twice shy!!

And now I am done and will be back to my REAL self free from the toxic people that have no place in my world!


Blessings and Hope!!

Damn it feels good to purge!!!