My fabulous team:
Thanks to the best MS Walk Team ever!! Love you all and ty from the bottom of my heart… or the heart of my bottom! 😛
xoxoxo, Tracy
More piccies!!
Tracy’s MSkateer’s – MS Walk 2012
Tag: Family
It’s a great day!
I do not have many ‘great’ days in my life. Good days maybe, but far from great. Well, yesterday was a GREAT day. My brother [baby brother] Ed and his wife Kelly brought an amazing new being in to this World. Ed and Kelly have a relationship that I’ve only seen in fairy tales. I may be biased, but my brother is pretty amazing.
I ‘met’ my brother when he was 6 months old and it was love at first site. He could not say Tracy when he started talking, so my new name became Sissy. I wear that name with pride. I’m sissy to my baby brother Ed and baby sister Laura. I would have it no other way.
And now, a new chapter in Ed’s life. The baby brother I changed, baby-sat, fed, etc. is now a daddy. I’m over the moon. [also feeling really old, lol]
So, without further ado, Welcome to the World Max – born Jan. 20, at 11:52pm. 8lbs 6oz.
So, yes, this was a GREAT day!!
Love and Light!
Taking a break…
Feeling a bit overwhelemed, so going to take a break for today away from the ‘hospital’ blogs. I need to sort my thoughts for the blogs to come, so today I will be resting. Sleeping and watching movies are what is needed for me right now. The hospital conclusion[s] will be done within in the next week, so stay tuned if interested. These blogs are to help me face it, deal with it, and find my way back to me.
Thanks for all of the support thus far. I am blessed with amazing friends and family!!! xoxo
Blessings and Hope!
The Parental Christmas
My dad and Cheryl came on December 19th for our Christmas with them. They brought along Riley, Cheryl’s new baby. He is a lil fluff ball Shih-Tzu. Dexter was so excited to have Riley come to visit. It was adorable to watch them play. Dexter got a bit irritated after a while as Riley was invading his ‘personal’ space!! [if you get my meaning]
- Riley
- Dexter
- Please get off of me!
- Let’s Dance
- I’m taking you down!!
- Are you gonna stop humping me dog!
- The takedown!! 1-2-3 OUT!
So, as you can see, Dexter finally took control. It was the best laugh I have had in a loooong time!! And they both slept very well that night! lol
Now, on to the day. We all went to ‘Olive Garden’ for lunch, and it was amazing! I’m not supposed to do bread, but hey, it’s a special occasion…Right?!! I also had a Cosmo, so yummy. Don’t be hatin’! lol We all ate waaay too much and had a big ‘people’ bag to bring home. I did some flip video of the lunch and as soon as I edit will add it. 🙂
Now the best part…I got a pair of chestnut UGG Classics!! My favorite boots of all time!! They keep your feet warm in winter, and cool in summer. Which is awesome for someone who hates to wear socks! No socks needed with UGGs!! All in all it was a very ‘good’ day in the life of me!! I have awesome parental units. I also must note, I have the BEST step-parental unit as well. I am very blessed with my whole family!!
Happiest of Holidays to all!!!
Blessings and hope…
Coping…
We see ourselves with these illness’. We try to come to terms with it/them. Eventually we learn to live with it. But what about our children? How do they learn to live with it, or even understand it? Should they ‘get it’ by a certain age? Should they learn to deal with it?
Yesterday was one of those dayz I was reminded, yet again, about my dis-ease! Ashley had a spaghetti dinner to go to for band. Roger had forgotten something at work and headed back home. I told him just stay home. What a waste to drive back (60 miles) again. He said ok he would. So, I told Ashley that dad was staying home. She got very excited and said that way he could drive her to the dinner. [I prefer not driving and do not drive at night anymore] When dad got home he said he had to go back as they were really busy right now. I was a bit irritated as I had told Ash he would drive her.
Well, when she got home and I told her what happened, she lost it. It was all my fault, now how could she go, she told them she was going to be there, why can’t I be like other moms, good moms drive and take their kids places, it’s my fault she never gets to go anywhere cause i’m an ms freak, etc, etc, etc. These are things I already feel about me daily. They have lost out on so many things thanks to my MS. But, it is not my fault!! I told her to call and maybe a friend’s mom could take her with them. She said NO, that is so embarrassing, no one needs to know about me being sick. blah blah blah. The girl that was going to take her was doing something else, and now thanks to me, she would miss this.
I sat there for a while, listening to her, quietly crying. I cannot imagine having a mom sick. I remember being embarrassed by my parents at times in my teenage years. It happens. I cannot imagine how hard it is having a mom in a wheelchair. So, I let them vent, let them yell, etc. They have all had their ‘moments’ of frustration towards me. I let them get it out. Does it hurt to very core of my being? YES! But, I cannot stress over it too much or I will get myself sick, literally. So, again, I let them vent.
My anger, is towards the disease that has taken me from my family piece by piece. Now, she did get punished for this once she got it all out. Even though I understand their own frustrations, there is never a time for blatant disrespect! I think as someone with a chronic illness we have to ALWAYS remember, it affects all around us as well. That’s not to say my heart does not break, but so does theirs.
So, how do we cope and help those around us to cope? After 12+ years I should be a pro at this, but not so much!!
Blessings and Hope!!
I had ‘DOH’ brain…
Hubbies birthday was yesterday. I remembered it on Friday. I was so doh about it. Totally forgot the month we are in etc. We do the shopping [grocery] on weekends together. He will drop me at Walmart or Target to get the basics we need while he goes to Sam’s for the bulk shopping.
Saturday comes and I go to Walmart. I get all checked out and think ‘oh shit’ I need a card for my hubbub. So, go wheeling all the way back across the store, find a card wheel quickly back to ck out in garden again and fly outside to where Rog is waiting for me. Then, another ‘oh shit’ moment. What about cake mix!! hmmm he’d notice that. Hopefully there is something at home in the cupboards.
Fast forward to Monday…the 44th birthday of my hubz Roger. Yes, I married a younger man. lol Ok, only a year and a half younger, but younger still! 😛 So, i email him a ‘fart game’ birthday card from Yahoo greetings. What, it was funny! lol Then realize, what are we going to do for a cake? I am not feeling up to driving. [legs weak] He loves cheesecake, but no way to get him one. He deserves cake, so what to do!?
When the girls get home, I call my awesome neighbor and she has Angel food cake mix. Shelby makes the cake, I make a drizzle icing from scratch. [and it didn’t kill us] 🙂 Shelby puts the cakes on the kitchen table, angled with all the bday cards in the middle. We put 4 candles on each cake. Then we wait. On Mondays he picks Ashley up from soccer practice. When he called he said he was coming home first, so Shelby said some story how Ashley wanted him to watch her practice, blah blah blah. [she’s good under pressure like her momma]
I felt so bad that i could not get him his cheesecake or have anything for him [money issues]. Hard to buy for him anyways as he is always with me. lol So, we figure as soon as things get back on track and we get caught up again, it is time for him to get a new truck. His has over 200,000 miles. It is time. Hopefully by the end of the year we will be able to do this. [crossing fingers]
Meanwhile, back home… They get home and Shelby runs out to get the candles lit on the cakes. By this time daddy knew something was up since she told us we could not come out there yet. lol We finally get out to the kitchen and burst out in song. Be glad you do not have to hear us! But, daddy loved it! He was kind of shocked to see the cakes, asking us how we did it. We’ll never tell. mwaaaahhh He opened his cards from my mom, and the ones from all of us. We downed the cakes and all hung out, fat and happy!! lol All that mattered was the happy look on his face when he walked in.
So even though I had that ‘DOH’ moment, in the end it all worked. It usually does!
Blessings and Peace!
Finding the light at the end of the tunnel…
No matter how hard life can get, and it can get hard, I always try to find the light at the end of the tunnel. There really is that light if you look for it. We can wallow in our pain and self pity, or we can look for the good. And, I know there is good somewhere.
MS sucks, big time, but I have it and only I can choose how to ‘live’ with it. I hear people complain how a remodel is going bad or how their kids are back home with them after college. Well, be thankful you have a home and the money to remodel. Be thankful your kids are safe and finished college. I would love to remodel my bathroom and doorways so I could actually shower alone and get through doors without leaving scratches or all out dents in the walls. Sometimes, I hate my home as it is not handicapped accessible for me. I spend most of time in my bedroom as getting through the doors is a pain in the butt in my chair. When I turn my chair on the carpet it lifts and moves, would love to redo that as well. Sadly for us, we do not have the funds to do this right now. BUT, I am thankful to have a home and have a roof over my head.
Again, as I have said in previous blogs, it’s all in how you choose too look at your life. Is your glass half full or half empty? I like to think of mine as half full.
I spend most of my days stuck in my four walls of my home as I no longer feel comfortable driving. We are going to get hand controls one day for my van [when and if we can afford it], but until then I am a ‘prisoner’ in my home. BUT, again, at least I have a home and a handicapped accessible vehicle for my wheel-chariot!
Do not get me wrong, there are days I get pissed off and curse this fucking disease. Ask why the hell me? What did I do to deserve this? I look at people able to walk and want to scream, “Do you know how lucky you are to be able to walk?” I get angry, depressed, and downright mad at God. Then, eventually, when I calm down I see the light. I see a husband who would do anything in this world for me and truly meant his vows, in sickness and in health. I see children who love me no matter if I can walk, be in the sun, run with them, or not. I see parents and siblings who would stop everything [and have] to help me if I ever needed help.
So you see, there is always a light at the end of that tunnel. I guess it is how you choose to look at it!
Blessings and peace!
Making it Through the Rain 