Blessings and Hope!
Tag: Hope
Living with MS – part one
I’m going to start a series of blogs on, you guessed it, Living with MS. Each blog will have a theme to it, ie: newly diagnosed, medications, family issues, friendships, exercise and nutrition.
My mini disclaimer: All of the blogs will be from my perspective on my life with Chronic Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. I am not a doctor and will never tell anyone what they should do for their MS. We are all different in our MS journeys as we are in our lives.
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My Journey for the truth began after the birth of my son in 1994. I was overly fatigued and started to fall quite often. It was chalked up to bad ankles [from ankle breaks when I was younger] to postpartum depression. I had been diagnosed with CFS in 1986 at the age of 22, so they added that to the list. In May 1996 my twin daughters were born and walking became quite hard. I slept downstairs with the girls in their bassinets for the first few months. Fast forward to July 1997. For months my left ankle would twist and I would have serious trouble walking. I had been to the doctor any times during this year and told the same things as before; bad ankles, postpartum depression, CFS. Finally I got mad and made yet another appointment. This time I saw a Physicians Assistant, he talked to me for a bit then asked me to walk for him. The next thing I knew he was setting me up for an MRI…a What? The next month was kind of a blur. Mri’s, evoked potentials, spinal taps. Then then the results, Mrs. Radford, you have Multiple Sclerosis. Silence!
I do not remember too much of the next months. More tests, learning how to inject a 1.5 inch needle into my thigh, crying, denial, more crying, then complete anger! At that point I had ‘the good’ MS. REALLY?! Relapsing-remitting MS. I may never progress, might be in a remission for forever even. Well, my remission never came, but my progression did.
During the next 7.5-8 years I got two second opinions at the UCLA MS Clinic by their top MS Neurologists. Damn, both said, “Mrs. Radford, you do in fact have MS.” Bummer!
From 1997, I went from ankle braces to crutch canes to walkers to manual wheel-chariots to my now power wheel-chariot. Not really where I expected to be at 45 years old.
So, in a quick nutshell, this begins my journey. I am in the battle of my life. For some, this may not be the worst battle out there, but it is my battle and it is happening to me, so it is the worst out there. Living with MS is a journey for those with MS and the people who love them. Maybe, in some small way I can help someone through a rough time or even share a few laughs. Hope to hear from you.
Blessings and Hope…
It starts with one person…
Barbara Rhyne tucker was to be without heat, without the basic human essentials in KC, MO. How can this be you ask? Well, even now we still have ‘slum’ lords in our Country that make money off of those less fortunate. Yes, here in the United States of America!
Laurie Zieber took action and sent a call to help out to all her Internet family. For Story, Click here.
This morning, I stood up with Laurie and sent emails to various news stations:
Does Ebenezer Scrooge really exist? He does for the tenants living in the apartment complex with Barbara Rhyne Tucker.
How can this be happening in our World today? How can we allow ‘slum’ lords to deny basic human rights for their tenants?
This man denied a heater to her because she took a stand against his tyranny and called the city on him. Someone needs to stand up and get her story told.
There are elderly in this building as well. In blizzard conditions and without heat, this could be devastating.
So, before you head off to your warm and cozy homes, Speak up and take a stand.
Let’s show the World that Christmas miracles really do happen!
Blessings,
Tracy Radford
http://afabulousflair.artfire.com
https://mittr.wordpress.com
When the world says, “Give up,”… Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
Steve Kaut from KSHB-TV responded:
We interviewed your friend and the story will run tonight.
Thank you for the heads up.
Steve Kaut
KSHB-TV
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As you see, it does start with one person, one person who truly cares. Laurie Zieber was that person. Thanks to her and the many people that joined her, Barbara and the tenants at her building will be heard. Stand up against tyranny, stand up against wrong, be the voice, and miracles WILL happen!
Blessings and hope…
Acceptance – for Robin
ac·cep·tance n.
1. The act or process of accepting.
2. The state of being accepted or acceptable.
3. Favorable reception; approval.
4. Belief in something; agreement.
5. Abbr. acpt.
a. A formal indication by a debtor of willingness to pay a time draft or bill of exchange.
b. A written instrument so accepted.
6. Law Compliance by one party with the terms and conditions of another’s offer so that a contract becomes legally binding between them.
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When it comes to ‘accepting’ my disease, I choose not to. You have those who say, “If you do not accept it, you cannot move on!” I disagree. I will never accept the fact that this is my fate. I know i have MS. I know what it has taken away from me. Bottom line, I know how much it sucks! 🙂 I guess I feel if I use the word ‘acceptance’ that it really means I have it. I know that sounds strange, but that is the only way I can explain it. I deal with it, I ‘live’ with it, but I will not accept it. Believe me, I was in denial [no, not the river in Egypt] for the first 2 years of my dx [diagnosis]. I actually had 2 second opinions as I knew in my mind it had to be something else.
The first year of my dx I had my first second opinion at the UCLA MS clinic. Yup, you have MS. Then in the third year went back to UCLA again to see another doctor doing some new research. She said if she did not know my histroy she would dx me with Progressive-Relapsing MS (PRMS), the worst course. The look on my face must have killed her as she quickly said since knowing my case she would stay with Secondary-Progressive MS (SPMS). I steadily progress, [SUCKS!] but hopefully I will stay at the ‘plateau’ I am at now. Wishful thinking, nah…HOPE! Knowing me, I’ll get a third second opinion one day! rofl
Again, I know my disease, very well. I know I have it. I deal with it and live with it every day. This does not mean I EVER have to accept it. I think I see acceptance, in this case, as giving in to it. And that will NEVER happen. Some say I am too much of a BITCH [babe in total control of herself] 😛 to ever let it take me over. Personally I take that as a compliment. I am stubborn, strong, tenacious, driven, and a bitch! lol But, this is what keeps me going, keeps me fighting. I am not a quitter and will never stop looking for the answer. I do believe the cure WILL be found for MS. I hope in my time, but if not I hope for the next generation.
So, you see, for me acceptance is not an option. As long as we live our lives and not let our diseases overtake us, we are the winners!!
Blessings and Peace!
The heat is not my friend!
Once upon a time there was a girl who loved the sun, the heat, the beauty of it all. Now, not so much! lol
Today is my dd’s first soccer game. I am unable to go. Why you ask? The heat. It is going to be 96 degrees today. I missed half of her games last year due to the heat, and it broke my heart. Now, here we are again.
We all hear the line…’I have MS, but it doesn’t have me!’ I feel that way, most days. Today…NOPE! It does have me today. It is keeping me from seeing my girl play her second year of soccer. It keeps me from being at her practices. So, there are times it DOES have me. Sometimes we need to be realistic in our situations. Today is that time for me. Yet, in a month or so, I will be able to go to her games as the weather will change and the cooler times will come. In this case, that is the light at the end of this tunnel. This year, I now have my wheel-chariot that can get me on the grass and the dirt tracks. So, there is my other light in the darkness.
I truly think it is in the way we perceive our trials. Do we only see the bad, or can we find the good? I try and the find the good. Does it always work? NO. Are there days when no good can be found? YES. Those are the days that inner strength finds her way in and helps me through. Do I hate having MS, degenerative disc disorder, colitis, migraines, fatigue, incontinence? EVERY DAY! Do I ask, ‘Why me?’ All the time. Do I cry in private so my family does not see my pain? All the time. Do I get angry that my kids have had to know me this way their whole lives and watch me slowly get worse? More than anything!! Did I lose my faith? Yes.
So, I find the humor to get through it all. I laugh when I fall. I laugh when I get the shakes. [hubby says I have the rhythm] I laugh as I try to get back up off the floor with the help of my kids. It is quite comical. Two skinny lil things trying to lift their 6′ tall mommy off the ground. So, in come the 6′ tall 15 year old boy to the rescue. When he realizes he need to push up on mommies bum, he freaks out a bit. “Mom, I don’t wanna touch your butt!” Poor child. lol But he does, and up I go.
I am blessed with a family full of love all around me. I am blessed with friends. Does this make it better? sometimes, yes. But, I’d rather be blessed with all of this and be healthy. This is the hand I was dealt, so I will play my hand and do my best to win. This, is life!
Blessings and Peace!
When the world say, “Give up.” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time!”
May I ‘borrow’ your knee?
Finally after getting my mri on my knee and lower back [after being denied] I need knee surgery [again] and injections in my lower back. My left knee has a torn meniscus on the side and my back has had another disc which has degenerated further.
Here’s the kicker, my knee issue WILL happen again. I already had surgery on this knee once before for a torn front meniscus. My left knee hyperextends back 20 degrees which makes it snap back and cause damage to my knee. So, why not just fix the problem causing this issue? Because I spend the majority of my time in a wheelchair and why does it really matter about my knee. Well, it matters to me! I use a walker in my home for as long as I can. I usually end up back in the chair due to knee pain from pushing myself. So, for me, it is a huge deal!!
I have chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis. SO WHAT? Miracles DO happen and maybe one day the cure will be found and I will walk again. So just fix my friggen knee!! The bad ligaments have nothing to do with my MS. It is from skating [roller and board] as a kid, working on concrete floors, and plain ole use before I got ill!
As far as the insurance company is concerned it is a ‘wasted’ surgery for me. As if they are saying, “Who cares, it’s not like she will walk right again anyways!” I can almost hear them laughing.
Well, I am not going to sit by and listen to them laugh, I will have the last laugh. If it means contacting my representatives, I will. If it means going public, I will. No one knows my future with my MS. So how the hell can they ASSume I will never walk again. I believe that one day the cure will come and it will still be able to help me. It is called HOPE!
Wait til they get a load of me…..
Blessings and Peace!
Making it Through the Rain 