Just another little poll. I’m kind of a horror fan myself, but really watch anything and everything.
Did I forget drama? 😮 I guess I did. LOL if dramas are your thing, just write it in the comments. Have a fabulous morning, day, night wherever you may be.
Peace out! 🖤
Just when things seem to be getting better, BAM, it hits the fan. This why I can not ever be the shiny happy positive person others want me to be. And I try, but fuck a lot of that!
Unleash the flying monkeys!!
I’ve left 2 messages for my primary care doctors office manager. My doctor turned a specific issue I’m having over to her. We spoke when I was at my doctor a few weeks ago and she was supposed to get back to me. Nothing, nada, nil. I’ve called twice and left detailed messages for her to please call me back. And, I used my nice phone voice. Nothing, nada, nil. The issue is quite a big deal for me. What has happened in the last 30 years when it comes to doing what you say in the workplace. FUCK!!
Unleash the flying monkeys!!
Now, to get my pain meds, you always need a scrip every month, no refills… all thanks to the wonderful druggies out there that abused the medication, and the doctors dumb enough to believe them. Normally I go pick up the scrip at the office with a quick check in every month. So, I called yesterday to see when I can pick it up, and they said they’d talk to my doc and call me back. Bahahaha, you guessed it, no call back. I’ve been going to my neuro for 19 years. WTF. So I called back and they said my doc will be calling me back. I have a real illness that causes real pain. To bad I can’t fake it, maybe then I’d get the medication I need. FUCK!!
Unleash the flying monkeys!!
Why, just why… Come on Universe, cut me a fucking break. I have an aggressive form of primary progressive MS. NO treatments available to me. I’m bedridden with double stomas, degenerative disc, muscle spasms, tremors, constant numbness, and unable to do basic things like roll over in my bed or even sit up. I deal with severe anxiety and depression, complete and utter loneliness. What fucking more do you want from me? Sometimes death sounds very inviting.
Unleash the flying monkeys!!
But, fuck you, I’m not a quitter. And now I’m just pissed off. Do not mistake my disability for weakness. My mind still works and is smarter than you. Look out, here I come!!
Oh what a World…
So, my friend Steph wants me to do an ‘Ask Tracy’ sort of thing. For some reason she finds me funny and refreshingly errrr, brutally honest.
Right now I’m pretty much bed-ridden, a prisoner in my own body. The boredom is making me a bit nutty… Even more so than normal. lol So I thought this could be fun.
So, if anyone has any kind of question, ask me in the comment section of this post. Remember, I am brutally honest, so if you do not want to hear/read what I think, then do not comment. 😛
Funny stuff!! 😛
Love and Light!
Things I can’t do anymore:
dress by myself, get out of bed, go to the tinkletorium, drive, walk [duh], sleep on my side, lift myself up, use the stove/oven, go out in the sun, put on shoes, garden, laundry, vacuum, travel, cook, hold my bladder 😉
Things I can do:
sleep on my back [boring], watch endless amounts of tv/dvds/netflix, use the computer, manage our money, sleep [I’m the pro], love, hope
I know I’m in a state of limbo right now. Not sure what to do or how to do it. Knowing is the first step. Coming out of it is the hardest step. I’ll get there…
Love and Light
“Knowing you’re falling is the first step to getting back up” – T Radford
Being told, “I was hoping you’d be somewhat useful”, hits hard. Most days I feel ‘useless’. I Don’t need any help in that area…
This is the chair I need, want, and must have! It has a leg elevating option which will help my ankles not to swell. It reclines and can elevate a few inches to help reach things. I’m working on getting this sometime in the next few months. I have to jump through insurance hoops, but I’m used to that. MY neurologist is sending the store my diagnosis report, then they get with my insurance to see how much, if any, they will pay. Once that is done a representative comes to my home to get measurements, etc.
Insurance will not help much. They feel a wheelchair only needs to get you from point A to point B. It does not need elevating legs, recline, or elevation. They call those ‘luxuries’! Are they fucking kidding me!! It’s a ‘luxury’ to elevate my legs, to recline, and make it easier to reach things? WOW!! I guess it’s a luxury to be crippled too! grrrrrr I didn’t ask for MS so why is it so hard to want to be able to have a chair that helps me live my life with MS.
I’ll do whatever I have to, to get this chair. I spend my time in bed as the chair I have is a basic model. After 20 minutes of sitting my legs swell and my lower back is in pain. This ‘new’ chair will allow me to get up and get going. I will be able to make my jewelry again because I’ll be able to elevate my legs at the table. I haven’t made anything for so long and I miss it terribly. If I have to, I’ll sell myself on the boulevard… Okay probably not, but you get my point. lmao I really need this chair. When I found it whilst surfing the net, I started crying. I saw my ‘new’ life with this chair. I want an orange base for MS and animal awareness. It will be so cool. I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas!
I’m back to getting the excess weight off again. I figure, if I have to be in a wheel-chariot, I’m going to be a hot bitch in a wheel-chariot! I’ve never been heavy. So this weight gain is very depressing for me. I look in the mirror and cry. Why I don’t look in the mirror much. I know if I lose the weight it will be easier for me and those who help me on a daily basis. I even turned down cherry cheesecake danish today. OMG, it was not easy! Paleo and gluten free is my lifestyle. I will do it this time… I have to.
Love and Light
Sorry, you know it’s funny! And I said please. 😛
Making it Through the Rain 