Category: Strength

chronic illness · healthcare · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Strength

They don’t know who they’re dealing with.

Tracy5 Comments

It’s been a long time, again. I did get a TeleMed with UCLA, which went quite well. I am still trying to figure out where, and how to get the MRI he would like. Of course, it’s insurance issues. But that’s another blog. 😜

I had an appointment, 12/20/2023 with my primary care doctors. We got x-rays of my hip, I had another DEXA scan, urinalysis, and a few other issues. I did all these tests and on 01/17/2024, I had a TeleMed to go over those tests. My DEXA scan showed that my bones are still really bad. I asked if they were any better from the original DEXA scan in 2020, but they didn’t know because they did not have all my records. That’s number one… Then we went over the hip that had previously been broken at the hospital, because that hip has caused me pain since the surgery. They had no idea that my hip had been broken. That’s number two… Then they asked me why I was confined to a bed! That’s number three… I’m sorry, but I’ve been going to these doctors for a long time and they knew nothing about my MS and that I was bedbound. No original DEXA scan to compare this DEXA scan that had to be done in order to continue the medication and get refills. And they have my records. How did they not know about my hip? 😳

At the time I should’ve said something, but when you have to be transported in a gurney, for me, I have no confidence and I would rather just hide under the covers. Also, at the time no one was wearing masks. I was dumbfounded. This is a doctors office for fucks sake. And wouldn’t you know it, I got Covid for my very first time, thanks to that visit. I went to the hospital about three times in 2020 when Covid was in its hay day and never once did I get it. That’s when they were wearing masks and sanitizing and doing the things that need to be done especially if you are going to be around people with chronic illness. I’m sorry to go off track but that will be another blog. 🤭

Today, 01/22/2024, I got up my courage and called the doctors office and said that I needed to know what the difference is between my 2020 DEXA scan and my 2023 DEXA scan. I told them I need to know if I should stay on the medication, or if there’s a medication we can change. They had spoken to me about Prolia on my gurney visit, 12/20/2023, and I explained being bedbound I can’t be on that as you have to be weight-bearing. That’s when they asked why I was bedbound. Really!! Read my charts. I said I really needed to know what the comparison is since they told me that my bones are (still) really bad. I have to say the young lady on the phone was very good and professional. She called me back after speaking with the doctor, and told me that there really is no real change. I then asked what I should do about medication. Should I stay on the one I’m on, since it doesn’t seem to help, or change to something else. I guess the doctor didn’t have any other information so she’s going to have to get back to me again. I don’t understand why they said nothing about my medication and if I should keep going with it.

I am trying really hard to stay positive. Since being told on the 17th that my bones are (still) brittle I’ve been afraid to move too much. If I’m truly being honest, I’ve been afraid since 2020 regarding my osteoporosis and having such brittle bones. I have four back fractures just from sitting up and a broken hip just from being rolled over for a surgery. Since receiving the call, saying there’s really no change, I’m scared. I think now I’m going to be even more afraid to move at all.

Now that I got all that out… I will keep fighting. The only way any of this will change is if I get the help I need. Real help, not the help that the Independence Blue Cross doctors think I should have or not have. I need to be somewhere, such as an in-house physical therapy rehab, so there’s people there that can help me and that will understand that we need to be careful because of my bones. I know it will never happen because my insurance will not pay for it, and my doctors sure as hell won’t fight for me. It will probably take 2 to 3 months to be able to get back in my sling to be able to transfer to my wheelchair. As we all know from previous blogs, that’s not gonna happen. Now I will have to figure out how to do this on my own. I truly believe where there’s a will there’s a way and I will not stop trying and fighting for myself. Today, is not a good day, but it is not a bad life. Always remember, hold on!

Remember, have courage and be kind! 🖤

Anger · Health · healthcare · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

And here we go again… Part 2

Tracy3 Comments

You’re gonna love this one… I just received an explanation of benefits from Independence Blue Cross stating that they are not fully covering the ambulance ride from the hospital to the rehab center after my hip surgery. I guess I should’ve just hooked my bed up to a car and rolled over that way. Ummmm idiots, I have no choice as to who the case manager at the hospital decides to use for transport.

The best part, my husband told the caseworker not to use American medical response, and she did anyways. 😳

I also received a second explanation of benefits in regards to my hip surgery. Again, I should’ve pre-certified breaking my hip first before I got the surgery. Logically, I understand the concept of precertification, but not in this case. So, we should’ve waited a couple of days before doing the surgery as I was lying there with a broken hip? What exactly am I supposed to do about this? They need to take it up with the fucking hospital and not me.

Thank you to those sending me your horror stories dealing with Independence Blue Cross/Anthem Blue Cross, etc. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this as well. Trust me, we will be heard!

Yup, sharing this one again!
Anger · Fear · Health · healthcare · HELL · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Strength

And here we go again…

Tracy1 Comment

Oh Independence Blue Cross… You’re just disgusting! Seriously how do the people that work there sleep at night knowing what they’re doing to people on the other end. They are now telling me that I may be billed $5670.09 for my hip surgery because it was not pre-certified. So I guess I should’ve called them a couple days before my hip was broken to let them know that my hip was going to break. 😳 I know it’s not as simple as that, but come the fuck on! I seriously feel like they have my name on a list and it says, fuck with her so she goes crazy and dies. 😈

And contrary to what HR at my husbands work said, they only offer Independence Blue Cross and Kaiser, NOT United healthcare. And Kaiser doesn’t have an MS specialist so I am stuck with Independence Blue Cross. I will be looking into Medicare part B. We can’t really afford it, but I’ve got to do some thing.

I’m still trying to figure out why Comcast benefits called me directly. I think I’m going to call them back again and find out why. 🤔

I also had to send in an appeal for the ambulance ride in May after my suicide attempt. 😪 It’s really disgusting all the hoops you have to jump through when you have a chronic illness. Money is more important than human life. It doesn’t pay to be sick.

Strength

I am lying on my side!

Tracy6 Comments

Holy shit! I am lying on my side for the first time in years! It feels so freaking good. Oh am I going to hurt tomorrow! 💪

I must also say thank you to my stepmom Cheryl, and the squirrels for helping me to get physical therapy! ♥️

I am still waiting on insurance to kick in again. 😡 It’s unbelievable! But fuck all of that, because I’m lying on my side!

All total I could only remain on my side for about 30 minutes. But oh my gosh next time I will do better! Or at least I will try!🤞🖤💪

#MSWarrior #ICanDoThis #MustKeepGoing

Have courage and be kind.



Anger · Fear · FUCK · Health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Religion · Sarcasm · Strength

Independence Blue Cross you never cease to amaze me.

TracyLeave a comment

For a brief moment, I really believed today was starting out well. Then I receive a call from Independence Blue Cross. I guess they feel trying to take your life is not considered an emergency and they are fighting me on paying for my trip to the hospital. I feel like they should just come to my house and shoot me, point blank, in my head. It would be so much quicker and so much less painful for me. Basically they will not allow me to go anywhere to get proper physical therapy and they won’t even give me real visits for my home for Physical Therapy. We can’t continue to pay for private visits, we live paycheck to paycheck and can’t expect help for the visits forever. That speaks volumes to me about what is allowed in our country right now. Again, and I will scream it from the rooftops, I have never ever had this much trouble with my health care insurance until a certain orange idiot took over the White House. I think companies like Independence Blue Cross feel they can deny life-saving care for people because right now our government will allow it. Their internal doctors probably were not intelligent enough to get real jobs so they sit behind a computer to read papers regarding patients, without ever meeting the patient, and make life changing decisions.

At this time in my life I’m not too worried about karma since every day brings something more painful to my life. With that being said, I hope everyone of those people that is denying me the care I need has horrible and painful issues happen to them. I truly feel that’s the only way they will understand what it’s truly like to be chronically ill. Better yet, I hope it happens to someone they love so that they can feel just as helpless and lost as my whole family feels. Was that a bit harsh? Well you know what, it’s a fucking harsh world!



I don’t have over $5000 to be able to pay for that hospital visit. I shouldn’t have to pay for that hospital visit since we pay thousands of dollars a year to have Independence Blue Cross insurance. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. Well, I guess when you have no heart or soul it’s easy. Just remember that one day you disgusting people will have to answer for what you’ve done. While I don’t believe in the heaven and hell aspect of religion nor do I believe in the God that some believe in, if there were a hell… That’s where you people will end up! I’ll see you there, because you see I’m driving the bus… 

I will go on, and to those of you that are trying to blatantly and knowingly hurt my life, be prepared because winter is coming!

Have courage and be kind.

Anger · Fear · Health · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Strength

Tell me I cannot do something and I will show you that I can…

TracyLeave a comment

When that idiot of a doctor told me via FaceTime that there’s nothing more they can do for me, I am end-stage MS, and he’ll put in a call to hospice, I almost said “you’re right!” But after talking to some amazing friends and getting the best support in the world, he can kiss my fucking ass! Dr. Kareti at AV Neuroscience, you seriously pissed off the wrong woman. Telling someone over the phone that they are at their end, in a sense, was about the most disgusting thing a doctor could do. Aside from the fact the whole time he was shuffling papers on his table and talking to a nurse, what he did was unconscionable. What if I had been alone? What if I had no support system? He quite possibly could’ve sent someone over the edge by doing that. 

Now, I’m gonna show him just how incompetent and how wrong he is! Tell me I can’t asshole… I’m gonna show you I fucking can! You’ve just given me more strength than you know. I will admit that I was frightened of the places my mind went to after the phone call. But I made it through with so much help from my friends! I’m going to keep going even if I have to crawl.

I’m going to Keep fighting. One things for sure is I’m not going to be silent when I don’t receive the best healthcare possible. I have a remote call with my pain management doctor today and I will be informing him of the conversation I had with the neurologist. I’m curious to see if he’s going to agree with him or not. 

I’m tired, I’m scared, I’m frustrated, I’m angry, but the warrior in me is going to rise from the ashes, just like the Phoenix!!

Have courage and be kind.



Anger · Fear · FUCK · HELL · Medical · mental health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Sadness · Strength

First do no harm…

Tracy7 Comments

I think doctors forget, or simply don’t care how they speak to their patients, and how those words can affect them. Tonight in a very blasé tone while shuffling papers and speaking with the nurse that was in the room via FaceTime, Dr. Kareti from AV neuroscience, told me I am end stage MS and there’s nothing more they can do for me. The humorous part is the that their doctors office is why I’m trapped in bed from pain from hip contractures. No one found the break at L1 when I fell October 2013 which landed me in the bed. No one got me the little kickstand boots to keep my legs in proper position.  I mean if I had known then what I know now I could’ve done all this stuff on my own. Unfortunately I’m not a doctor and that’s why I was going to doctors because I thought they would know what to do. And now, there’s nothing more they can do for me. Oh wait, I forgot, they can contact hospice for me… 

Oh oh oh… I tried telling him about the Physical Therapy fuck up and the visits or lack there of, and he just blew it off. I mean he was really busy looking at papers on his desk and handing things to the nurse. I must’ve interrupted him with my FaceTime appointment.

So to sum it the fuck up, basically because I have severe pain and am unable to get out of my bed, I should just throw in the towel.

Game on bitch!

Have courage and be kind

… I just read this again and I should probably just burn it down because the pain is terrible and the pain is just so intense right now I shouldn’t be blogging about anything. But I’m gonna leave it I just felt the need to say sorry. I’m a little lost and so angry. I seriously can never catch a break.

And like I always say;