Category: Ramblings
We love Patrick!
Happy third re-birthday dear Patrick! The world will never forget you, you are loved by many.
The Old Riverside Hospital
Absolutely love abandoned hospitals! You just know somewhere there are still souls walking the halls!
Stationed only a block or so from the local police department in downtown Toledo remains a forgotten and fragmented structure formerly known as The Riverside Hospital. The hospital was opened in 1883 as a home for unwed mothers in the Northern Toledo area, welcoming them in under the supervision of the Sisters of Mercy. The hospital had operated under their supervision until 1983, when it had changed hands, becoming part of Mercy Health Partners.
At the time of its full closure in 2002, nearly 270 beds remained only to now collect dust as time faded life away further and further. Local urban legends suggest that ghosts of former doctors and patients now roam the tunnels beneath this structure, but nothing is for certain. The hospital is now owned and monitored by the Toledo Public Schools; information bestowed upon us quite unwillingly and uncomfortably.
December 29, 2014 – the day we…
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Powerful
Seniors
Any person who abandons a senior animal (or any animal) at a shelter has lost all their humanity. These people should not be allowed to ever have another animal. It is a privilege to have a pet in your home, they are not property, they are family. People who do not feel this way, should not have any pets.
Remember, adopt don’t shop!
Blessings to all the animals unwanted, abused, and thrown away! You all deserve(d) so much better.
To all who celebrate!
Lots of changes in the new year. I hope I can find the strength. Love and Light!
Not so much…
Surgery – not so much…Graphic
Surgery, June 10, 2014
****WARNING graphic photos below****
I did not come out of the dark until June 26. Sixteen days of what they call ICU Psychosis. Sixteen days lost to me. To everyone around me I was awake. For me, I was in a dream, not knowing where I was.
Backtrack… The surgery was to help me get some semblance of life back. To be able to go out more and to help those taking care of me. It did not go as planned. All seemed well when they finished and stapled my tummy back together. Sadly they soon knew there was a problem. I’m no doctor so this is in layman’s terms. The stoma was not producing and I was filling up with bacteria. After a week of excruciating pain and testing, of which I have no memory, they realized I needed emergency surgery as my white blood count shot up over night and they new right away I had a serious infection.
Once the un-stapled me they realized they had to stop the colostomy and re-route everything by ileostomy. Sadly the area was highly inflamed and the wound needed to be opened more. So, now, I have a large open stomach wound which will take some months to close.
***GRAPHIC PHOTO***
At this time I have to have a wound vac done twice a week. Sorry, but it’s fucking painful every time.
After wound vac is placed:
Basically once it’s covered, it vacuums out any type of infection, and helps the wound the slowly close back up. Mostly I’m bummed because I might lose my cute belly button. Kind of sucks. ;-P
At this time it has closed up over 6cm in a short time. My surgeon says I’m the strongest person she has ever met. That even when it got really bad and they the I might go septic, my body fought hard and won.
Honestly, I don’t feel strong right now. The nausea is awful, it’s hard to sleep, and I’m in constant pain… but I will NOT give up now. I’m looking forward to the day they can hook me all back up.
My biggest issue is the anxiety from all of this. It’s a fight not to just break down in tears. But crying makes it hard to breathe and I have to be careful. Sneezing is a bitch as is coughing. But, again, this too shall pass.
I’m thankful to be home. Sadly the second day I got home my house flooded…
Go figure! 😛
Peace
Ask Me!!
So, my friend Steph wants me to do an ‘Ask Tracy’ sort of thing. For some reason she finds me funny and refreshingly errrr, brutally honest.
Right now I’m pretty much bed-ridden, a prisoner in my own body. The boredom is making me a bit nutty… Even more so than normal. lol So I thought this could be fun.
So, if anyone has any kind of question, ask me in the comment section of this post. Remember, I am brutally honest, so if you do not want to hear/read what I think, then do not comment. 😛
Ain’t it nifty Tracy’s 50!
On March 12th, I turned 50. I told myself that on this day I would be able to stand up again or at least be able transfer to my wheelchair. Well, didn’t happen.
I’m sitting here, on my bed, listening to my baby Gatsby cry. When everyone left the house, they left him in the from of the house. I can’t do anything to get him in here. It’s killing me that I am not able to get out of my bed. I’m so pissed off right now!!!! Frustration Central here!!!
This was’t supposed to be my life! And for those who might say that life’s not fair… Fuck You! I know this first hand. The funny thing is that the people who usually say that, have no health issues or anything else for that matter! I think I’m allowed to be be pissed!! Since my fall five months ago, I’ve been bed-ridden, unable to get get up w/o using the 900.00 lift I had to buy, and utterly alone.
I do put on a ‘happy’ face most days, or at least I try to. This is why I have not blogged for some time. Even when I’m angry and depressed I usually add a dash of humor or attempt to be funny. I make fun of my illness to get through… but ya know, it’s NOT funny, there is no humor in this. I’ve been fighting since 1986 according to the MS specialists at UCLA. I’m fucking tired. I’m trapped in a body I hate, ummm, scratch that… I’m trapped in a prison that is my body. Try spending 24/7 in bed, relying on, begging people around you for help. No privacy, no independence, feeling like a burden, in constant pain. [knees, back, chest, shoulders, neck, etc.] Thankfully not usually at the same time.
Next month I go back to an MS specialist to get on a new poison err medication to try and help me get a lil something back. Those who know about this wonder why I’m not excited. Why? Well the last 4 MS meds actually helped and I got excited… but the excitement faded when the side effects were killing my liver so I had to stop. The more excited I get, the bigger the fall. So, excuse me for erring on the side of caution. I’m tired…
I truly wish I had something funny to end with, but it’s just not in me right now. Think I’ll take something to help me feel no pain so I can get through the shit that is my life. Call me the pity party Queen if you will. Frankly I don’t give a shit. Hmmm maybe I’ll go buy some shoes I won’t wear anytime soon…
BTW… being 50 sucks!!!
Making it Through the Rain 