Clarification…

Posted: June 7, 2010 in hope, Ramblings, sarcasm, silly
Tags: , ,

No, for those who have asked via email, I’ll never become one of those ‘shiny-happy-people’!! ROFL

Not that being a ‘shiny-happy-person’ is bad, but it’s just not me. There will still be days when I want to scream and whine, I’m sure, but hopefully not as much. I do kind of think that ‘shiny-happy-people’ must be a little off though. I mean really, how can anyone be that way ALL the time. Everyone at some point has had a ‘bad’ day. Well, maybe if you are medicated and have no clue of the world around you it may work. hmmmmm Might be a plan. Bellevue hospital maybe? Think about it, room and board, food fixed for you, linens changed, any and all meds you may need, can it get any better than that.

Just Kidding!!

But, seriously… I still look at my wheel-chariot and feel bummed every day. I’m just going to try and not let the feelings take me over. Not being able to walk is so frustrating for me. My mind feels like I can just get up and get moving, but  my body says, “NOPE!”, loudly. This is something I will need to work on and learn to cope with. It will take time, but I will get through it. Sometimes when I watch movies, see people walking, I can feel my eyes tear up and the moisture roll down my cheek. Funny thing is at that moment I do not even realize it until the taste of salt hits my lips. The fatigue, the DDD, the tummy and colon issues, and all the rest, even the incontinence are not what make me blue, it’s losing my ability to walk and have the strength I once had. I do not think I have ever realized where the pain comes from deep inside. I’m trying to look and see my triggers and recognize them so that I do not lose myself again.

I’m hoping by working on my legs with the pedaler, and my arms with the hand job [shake weight], that I can get a bit of strength back. I decided on a 2 day on 1 day off plan. 2 days of the exercise and 1 day off. I thought long and hard about when I fell of the wagon, so to speak, almost 2 years ago. It was when I got to feeling better I over did everything. It caught up with me and I crashed. So this time I am going to watch and learn my limitations. Kind of like, on the third day she rests!! lol

zzzzzzzzz

Hope your today was a good one!

Blessings and Hope!

Comments
  1. Ruby Cantu says:

    You are like my twin and we were seperated at birth…or our brains mutated from the same brain stem…I still need to look for a hand jobber thingamabobber…my arms need it, but right now my back is whack and I need crack so I can get back on track…hugs woman I ❤ ya!

    Like

    • Tracy says:

      The hand job might bug your back. I can feel in in my lower back as I use it. hmmm maybe I’m doing it wrong.
      I’ll ask rog!! 😛

      loves ya

      Like

  2. R. G. Maines says:

    Tracy,
    You made me do some thinking, it brought back something from my days of therapy. I’m writing a blog. I hope you’ll stop by and know that you caused me to reconsider some things I was never too sure about to begin with.

    BTW, my hubby expressed his frustration last night. I think there’s something in the air. UGH!

    Love & Hugs oxox

    Like

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