Ramblings

Two surgeries, 2 L of blood later! And away we go…

This blog is summing up what has happened since September 14, 2020. It’s been one crazy ride!

Welp, Having some lower tummy issues today a.k.a. the bladder. So my doctor is having me go to the hospital through emergency and she is going to admit me to get the surgery done and over with. She is worried that the bladder stones could possibly clog the stoma etc.

I am so jazzed that she is doing this for me because I really need this surgery. It’s been over a year that I was supposed to have it, so this is a really good thing! The ambulance is on the way to come pick me up. Thankfully it’s just an ambulance service and not 911. I really didn’t need the police, fire, and everyone else showing up. 😂🖤

I am in the ER awaiting on ultrasound and for my doctor.

And the Covid up my nose swabs weren’t bad at all. I was very happy about that. 🥰

I’m finally in a room. I got up here at about 11 PM. The surgery went really well. 👍

Unfortunately the pain in my left hip is off the charts. ☹️ Tomorrow morning they will be doing x-rays. Right now I have pain meds on board and I think I’m gonna try to sleep. It has been a very long couple of days!

I’m not even sure where to begin. So my bladder surgery went really well. I started having a ton of pain in my left hip. So before I went home I wanted to get it checked. Well, when I say shit happens but mostly to me so don’t be worried, I mean that. I have a fractured hip at the top of the femur. Basically my bones are very weak and brittle. I had surgery for the hip on Wednesday and man the pain, WOWZERS!! They put in a rod and pins. I am hoping they will do a bone scan while I’m here because as we all know my insurance won’t cover me for transport. One of the doctors said they can do it in the hospital and one of them said no they don’t do it in the hospital. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was also hoping this would get me into the rehab center, but healthcare is different for people with chronic illness. If I was just a woman who broke her hip I’d be getting the rehab at the rehab center. I was really hoping they would go to bat for me but as we all know they won’t. 

I still haven’t wrapped my head around all of this. The doctor said I am very susceptible to more breaks. My opinion, then get me on a good bone medication. But wait, I’m gonna have to go find a way to get to the doctor to do the bone density scan. So that won’t be happening anytime soon.

So the case manager, ignorant asshole from the hospital, says that in the notes it said I refused PT on Saturday and Sunday. Because of that insurance won’t put me in a rehab facility. I explained that no fucking way did I refuse it. I did it Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then on Sunday they stopped giving me the IV pain meds. I had one pain med tablet on board when they came in to do the physical therapy. The minute he started moving my legs the pain was off the charts. So I asked if we could just do adjusting my legs in the bed etc. for PT since I didn’t have the proper pain meds on board. Well in their mind that was refusing it. You know if this shit wasn’t happening to me I would not believe it. The stupid bitch on the phone wouldn’t even listen to what I was trying to tell her. All she kept saying was, well it’s been written in the notes and now your insurance won’t do anything about it. It’s as if the medical community where I live all went to the same ACME school of medicine. It’s like they’re single-handedly trying to make my getting better not happen. So now what the fuck am I supposed to do! 😡

So they just gave me another pain tablet and at 1 PM they’re coming in for PT. 🙃

Wow! It’s been a doozy of a day… A doozy of a day!

A Dr. Mansourian, Internist, came in and talked with me. I told him what was going on and he said that he will get me into rehab. If the insurance tries to say no he’s going to keep me here then. I’m kind of sitting with my mouth open like what just happened. Is this the light I’ve been searching for at the end of the tunnel?! He’s taking charge and he completely understands why I’m so afraid of being moved. He also said he’s going to tell them when I go to rehab that I’ll need to get to a doctor for the bone scan. 👊

The PT girls who came in were really amazing. They knew I was scared and they were very slow and steady with me. They rolled me on both sides, for only a second, but I did it. 🤗

I really want to be excited, I really want to feel like someone’s finally listening, but this stuff has happened before and nothing came of it. I am going to hold on to hope.

I’ve got this; I will keep going! 🖤

Time for 2 L of blood 😳

Maybe this is why I’ve been feeling dizzy, fatigued, well crappy for the last four months. I wonder what they’ll find tomorrow. Stay tuned for the next chapter of Tracy‘s medical maladies! 😂

So there you have it! This is what’s been happening from September 14 until today, September 22. What a ride it has been and what a ride it is still going to be!

Strength

I am lying on my side!

Holy shit! I am lying on my side for the first time in years! It feels so freaking good. Oh am I going to hurt tomorrow! 💪

I must also say thank you to my stepmom Cheryl, and the squirrels for helping me to get physical therapy! ♥️

I am still waiting on insurance to kick in again. 😡 It’s unbelievable! But fuck all of that, because I’m lying on my side!

All total I could only remain on my side for about 30 minutes. But oh my gosh next time I will do better! Or at least I will try!🤞🖤💪

#MSWarrior #ICanDoThis #MustKeepGoing

Have courage and be kind.



Anger · Fear · FUCK · Health · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Religion · Sarcasm · Strength

Independence Blue Cross you never cease to amaze me.

For a brief moment, I really believed today was starting out well. Then I receive a call from Independence Blue Cross. I guess they feel trying to take your life is not considered an emergency and they are fighting me on paying for my trip to the hospital. I feel like they should just come to my house and shoot me, point blank, in my head. It would be so much quicker and so much less painful for me. Basically they will not allow me to go anywhere to get proper physical therapy and they won’t even give me real visits for my home for Physical Therapy. We can’t continue to pay for private visits, we live paycheck to paycheck and can’t expect help for the visits forever. That speaks volumes to me about what is allowed in our country right now. Again, and I will scream it from the rooftops, I have never ever had this much trouble with my health care insurance until a certain orange idiot took over the White House. I think companies like Independence Blue Cross feel they can deny life-saving care for people because right now our government will allow it. Their internal doctors probably were not intelligent enough to get real jobs so they sit behind a computer to read papers regarding patients, without ever meeting the patient, and make life changing decisions.

At this time in my life I’m not too worried about karma since every day brings something more painful to my life. With that being said, I hope everyone of those people that is denying me the care I need has horrible and painful issues happen to them. I truly feel that’s the only way they will understand what it’s truly like to be chronically ill. Better yet, I hope it happens to someone they love so that they can feel just as helpless and lost as my whole family feels. Was that a bit harsh? Well you know what, it’s a fucking harsh world!

I don’t have over $5000 to be able to pay for that hospital visit. I shouldn’t have to pay for that hospital visit since we pay thousands of dollars a year to have Independence Blue Cross insurance. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. Well, I guess when you have no heart or soul it’s easy. Just remember that one day you disgusting people will have to answer for what you’ve done. While I don’t believe in the heaven and hell aspect of religion nor do I believe in the God that some believe in, if there were a hell… That’s where you people will end up! I’ll see you there, because you see I’m driving the bus… 

I will go on, and to those of you that are trying to blatantly and knowingly hurt my life, be prepared because winter is coming!

Have courage and be kind.