Bring me to Life…

Posted: March 2, 2010 in Depression, dreams, Fear, HELL, Hospital, multiple sclerosis, nightmares
Tags: , , ,

As I read through my Hell hospital blogs I get the chills. For some reason the thoughts, the memories will not leave my mind. I can see it all as if I am still there. Humiliation, fear, and so many more emotions. My mind goes 1000 miles a minute at bedtime and my sleep is not going so well. I know time will help to erase some of it, but how much time?

I actually, for the first time in over 3 weeks, did my hair and dressed in clothes. [real clothes, not pj’s] I was going to leave my house and go to the store for the first time since the hospital horrors. Didn’t happen. As the time drew near to go I had a panic attack. The thought of being away from my ‘safe haven’, near my tinkletorium, made me physically ill. Xanax didn’t even help. [ya know you’re in trouble when Xanax doesn’t work!] 😛

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

Still waiting for some kind of call back from the HH. Talked to them on February 22, and still waiting. How long is it going to take for them to let me know what they are going to do about this?

Is it time for the Attorney? Many are telling me, YES! Is that the only way to get them to listen, to provide quality care for their patients? Now I have some thinking to do on the matter. So, now we wait…

Blessings and Hope!

Comments
  1. Kristi says:

    Tracy you are so funny! I never heard of a “tinkletorium” before, I love it! Fingers crossed for you, I hope you hear something soon for a solution, that was beyond wrong!

    Like

  2. Carol Urban says:

    Yes, it’s time for an attorney. This should not have happened. You only have two years in which to file. It may help in healing the trauma.

    Every so often I still have nightmares about my time spent in the hospital (cancer related). It is getting easier as time passes. I don’t wake up screaming at the top of my lungs much anymore. ❤

    Like

    • Tracy says:

      TY for the info on time. I’m going to basically find one, and hope they will read my blog as I am not sure I can go to them! 😦

      [[[[[Carol]]]]]

      Like

  3. Ruby Cantu says:

    Tracy, Like Carol I still have nightmares, but time helps, it’s going to be different for all of us….

    Wish I could be close by and we could help each other working on the panic as we try to get out and join the real world.

    Like

  4. Kathy says:

    I don’t know if it’s time for an attorney yet. Has it just been phone calls, no letters? Maybe it’s better that way though. Yeah, at least talk to an attorney. But finding a good attorney is very important. You can look here for ratings: http://www.martindale.com/ that’s how I found my lawyer…but the jury is still out on whether or not he’s good enough to get ‘er done.

    But if you do go that route…an attorney is going to want a declaration from you, so I’m really glad you’ve already written the posts.

    I’m trying to write a declaration to have a guardian ad litem installed for my 14 yr old daughter. She is living with her father. Biggest mistake ever to let him have custody, but since she wants to stay there someone has got to get him to play the role of a real parent. But as you very well know…it’s hard to write about painful subjects!!

    Hang in there MzTracy! I love your tweets, you crack me up!

    Like

    • Tracy says:

      Thanks so much for all the info!!

      Good luck to you and your ‘fight’!!

      I decided to try and find some funny quotes to help me laugh again, so started tweeting them too!! lol

      Like

  5. Frannie1964 says:

    I believe the only way they will listen Is If you do get an attorney. Hope you get a good one.

    It will take some time to put all this behind you, not saying that you will ever forget, but talking about It and writing about It will help and maybe even getting all this resolved with an attorney to make them people at Hell hospital do something will also help slowly get rid of those nightmares. I wish you all the best and we will always be here to listen and plenty of cyber (((Hugz))).

    xoxoxox

    Like

  6. debjdarby says:

    Hi MzT.

    Just thinking about you and wondering how you’re feeling. How’s good ol’ Palmdale?

    Love, Deb

    Like

  7. Marya1961 says:

    I am so happy you made that first step…doing your hair, putting on clothes..even though that panic came on, you are in the right direction, sometimes baby steps we have to take..God knows I have been there..Yes, get that attorney, wish I had!..Lots of HUGS!! xo

    Like

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