My Horoscope and life

Posted: December 11, 2009 in mindless-thoughts, Ramblings
Tags: , , ,

PISCES Your mood just doesn’t seem to want to lift itself up very high today — there may be something down deep that’s troubling you. If so, you need to address it, no matter how uncomfortable it may make you feel.

Wow, spot on today! The problem is figuring out what is troubling me. I have an almost empty feeling and cannot figure out what it could be.  Now do not get me wrong, most days I really am feeling pretty good even with my own personal issues. You have to learn to change and adapt. It is very hard to ‘re-write’ the story you thought you were going to live, but sometimes that is the hand one is dealt in life. But, even when I do my best to be positive, find the good, look for the light, make the lemonade, and all the other cliches we are told, it can still become overwhelming.

I really wish I could ‘lift’ up my mood daily, in a perfect world!  My friend had someone tell them to think positively instead of negatively. Um DUH!!! Really, does this person think she prefers to be negative! Shit happens and sometimes it is bad shit!! I bet the person that told her that has no real ‘chronic’ issues in life. Honestly, I feel those with ‘chronic’ illness try to be more positive than those without so they can find that light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry that sometimes we may sound or feel negative to you. Deal with it or do not ask us what’s up. When you are in a wheelchair and are told to ‘keep it inside’ because medicare and/or private insurance will not warranty it for you, that is BS and yup we may feel negative. I guess it is ok for these assholes to think more about the money than the independence they arre taking from another human being. The next time they go outside and get fresh air and walk to their destination, I hope they remember what a fucking luxury it is. At least that is what my private insurance told me one when i needed a specific wheelchair. The wheelchair I needed was a luxury not a real medical need!! Hopefully no one in their family ever needs this ‘luxury’. What an incompetent asshole! And now medicare is taking from my friends independence. NICE!!

Hmmmm, i guess I know what is troubling me…life!

Blessings and hope!

Comments
  1. Deb Darby says:

    Hey Trace.

    Yes, you have every reason to feel down; but you’re right…you seem to be able to laugh alot when most of us would just curl up. Just a practical thought, and maybe you’ve already talked to your counselor or doc…could it be Seasonal Affective Disorder because of the gloomy weather? If you haven’t thought about it, maybe it would be worth it.
    Besides that, many of us feel the pressure to create and have the “perfect” Christmas, over-commercialized with the ability to give expensive gifts. This time of year can be overwhelming…and in a bad way. We set ourselves up for disappointment more than we need to with our exalted expectations of ourselves and others that don’t always seem to be met.

    Love you, Girl and I hope you’re feeling your sunny self again soon.

    P.S. – I have two more words for you – funny movies!

    Like

  2. R. G. Maines says:

    Tracy,

    All my love and hugs! Thank you for talking about this too.

    Isn’t it bad enough that ‘happenstance’ brought disability, pain, fear and insecurities to our lives?, no… the very people who are supposed to give us assistance so that we can obtain some semblance of ‘normalcy’ decide it’s a luxury to go to the doctor’s office, pharmacy, bank or to shop for groceries?

    I can’t speak for all persons with disabilities, but I believe that independence is probably one of the most important and invaluable aspects of our lives we can strive to maintain.

    I’ve really been distraught since learning my life ‘violates Medicare regulations’.

    Again, much love and hugs oxox

    Like

  3. Ruby Cantu says:

    Add me to the angry list, I’m still battling the chair issue….I’m also angry that I have not received adequate care, sure the staff has been nice, from experience I know their overworked side of it. No complaints are made when I begin to remove all my monitors so I can get up to go to the bathroom, it is just something less they have to do. {{hugs}}

    Like

  4. Holly says:

    Tracy, my friend, thank you for coming by to visit. I’ve missed you! I’m so sorry to learn that you’ve been having some major struggles. I do know that the whole “think positive” concept feels like a bunch of hooey when you’re having a down phase. I’ve found that there are times when the person saying it just has no idea at all what I’m going through. Thus, they don’t understand that instead of being encouraging, they’re just pissing me off and making things worse. I don’t think they *mean* to be that way; but it sure would be nice if they would take the time to actually learn more about what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

    You, my friend, are an amazing person. You have every right to feeling whatever you feel, whenever you feel it. You don’t have to justify your feelings, either. And, like you said, your needs are not luxuries, and it might be a good thing for those people who are denying you to experience even one day of your life before they say otherwise.

    I hope you have a better day today, sweet lady. I hope the universe brings you all you need…

    ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

    Like

  5. Amy says:

    I love you, darling! The whole ALWAYS keep it positive thing is a crock, we’re human…and to take it to the next level, we’re humans that happen to be suffering chronically, I say screw them!

    Like

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