On My Soap Box…

Posted: April 16, 2009 in Uncategorized

Yesterday was crap!! I have not made new jewelry in a week or so. Went out to my area where i create and my hands would not stop shaking. I got so depressed and was ready to forget making anything more at all. It took me over 2 hours to make a simple necklace, and when i was done i took it apart and went to my room and took something to calm my hands and slept.

I was pissed, sad, angry, irritated, and not fun to be around. I am 99% of the time the type of person who laughs and makes jokes about my MS. Yesterday I had enough of it. First, do not give me the God only gives you what you can handle shmeel!! It does not say that anywhere in the bible, TY! If this was true, then he is a cruel God. I suffer, my kids suffer, my hubby suffers thanks to this disease. So please do not go there.

So, the 1% anger and frustration came on hard. I had the pity party of a lifetime. It was excellent!! lol

For me i get angry because my abilities are going much too fast. I am progressive and that really pisses me off. One time I was upset and asked why me? Some incompetent buffoon said, ‘well why not you?’! WTF…then why not YOU?! Please, never say that to someone who has a health issue or other disability. Usually it is the person who has no clue about it and has gr8 health! SHADDUP please. Pray that YOU are the never the one it happens to.

Losing your ability to walk, bathe alone, get out of bed by yourself at 45 is not what my life was supposed to be. My mom and sister should not have had to fight Cancer, and the list goes on.

I try and do all the ‘healthy’ things for my MS and my body. NO DIET Drinks…no DIET crap of any kind, as all the aspartame and fake substitutes are really bad for AI disorders. I try to go as gluten free as I can, no preservatives, good REAL food, etc. So, yes, I do ask, WHY ME??

I had someone tell me I willed it, my faith was not good. WTF…this told over the net as if she had said it to me straight, my shaky hands would have knocked the shit outta her!! The book the secret!! Excuse me, if you people believe anyone wills this crap by their thoughts or how they live…YOU need help!! The writer of that book probably got up one day and said, ‘hmmmm how can i make a crap load of money talking out of my arse?!” I pray no one close to him/her ever gets chronic debilitating disease. What r u gonna write about then??!!

HA! I feel better…not great, but better! And for those who use handicapped parking that do not need it…Karma WILL come back and bite you in the butt hard one day. Maybe, you may even end up truly needing the space one day! HA!

I’m out!!! Aren’t you glad!! lmao…

It’s always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown

Comments
  1. Renee says:

    AW hun, I don’t know what to say except that I loves you, shaky hands and all. Don’t let it get you down, which I know is hard to do but I had to say it. Know that I am thinking of you and love you very much!

    Like

  2. Twisted Serenity says:

    Aww, MzT! I can sure relate, even though we have two very different things. Found out the other day that my liver is progressing at a high rate and thats why Ive been so ill this year. I have to go on a raw diet, all of it juiced. Yum, brocolli and potatoes in a cup for breakfast. hmmph!
    I have lot a lot of ability, I no longer buy my own groceries, I no longer take my kids to Dr. Appt’s, ect. It’s made me a prisoner of my own home.
    I have heard it all, too. Right down to me not having enough faith. I tell ’em to screw off! *lol*
    Keep your chin up, and remember you are entitled to have a grieving day here and there, we’re only human!

    Like

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