Tag: blogging

Health · HELL · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

Thursday Feelings – I am a Warrior

Tracy2 Comments

I’m kind of excited I found a non-emergency transport so that I can get to my doctors. If I can work it out perfectly I can make my appointments for the same day. It’s nice that all my doctors are in the same building. It’s going to be so much easier going by stretcher then having to try to sit for any period of time in my wheelchair. I can’t even get my wheelchair so I think this is going to be good. I think I’ll buy a crown for that day and as they’re pushing me through, I’ll put my hand up and do the wave. 😂

I’m going to talk to my doctor about contracture surgery as well as rehab. Maybe that’s the route to go. I’ve been trying to find the perfect in-home PT group from the names the Blue Cross rep gave me, but that’s not helping. All they tell me is, “Our rehab people are good.” I’m sure they are. I’m asking if they deal with muscle contractures. Frankly I don’t think any of them know what that is. 🤔 I just want to know how in-home therapy is going to be able to help me with the pain. They don’t. I need to be in a facility if I want any pain help. So I guess I’m just going to grit my teeth. 😁 I can tell that this is going to be a lot of fun…

Now I need to get my appointments, get the certification from the insurance company, and get a time slot for the transport. Oh how I love jumping through all these hoops just to go to my doctor. Oh well, we do what we Gotta do. 😏
Time to straighten my crown and get shit done. 🖤Have courage and be kind

Craziness · Ramblings · RANDOM · Sarcasm · Silly · Stupid Stuff

Have the day you deserve! Wednesday feelings…

TracyLeave a comment

It seems sarcasm and humor pisses people off. Well unfortunately that’s how I get through my days. The Internet is full of keyboard warriors. you’re really tough behind that computer screen aren’t you? 😂 The saddest part about it is if they really knew who you were, they would understand how you’re feeling and why sometimes a snarky joke gets me through the day. Instead they have to make a public announcement of how disappointed they are in you. Seriously I could care less what you think of me or if you’re disappointed in me. You’re not my parents nor are you my husband or children. If you have a problem with someone, be adult, message them instead of calling them out in front of everyone because you need attention. If something I post offends you, then scroll right by. i’ve been out of high school for a very long time and I don’t need it in my life now. I’m very happy that on many social media sites you can unfriend, unfollow, and block people. It’s much easier to just do that instead of making an announcement. Toxic people suck. I guess that me being brutally honest and unapologetically me doesn’t work for some people. Oh well… Bye Felicia 😇

As always, have courage and be kind.

Fear · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sadness · Strength

Sunday Feelings

Tracy2 Comments

When I first saw this picture sometime ago my eyes filled up with tears. I came across it again this morning. It had a different quote on it for multiple sclerosis but it was very grainy and looked terrible. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I did a Google search and the image popped up with the other quote and a blank picture. I felt the need to add my own quote to this powerful powerful image.This picture sums up my life completely. we need a cure! I just hope one is found in my lifetime before it is too late for me.

Have courage and be kind

*** if anyone knows the creator of this amazing picture, please let me know. I’d like to give credit where credit is due.

Anger · Fear · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sadness · Strength

Depression and Fear are Paralyzing

Tracy1 Comment

The past few days have been hard. The stress from the denials and all of the subsequent appeals and the denial for the ER and then the reprocessing of that claim… It has been hell. My last MRI showed that my PPMS was not active. That MRI was about or year to a year and a half ago. I don’t even remember because my mind right now is scrambled. Yes, I could look it up, but quite frankly I’m not going to because I’m fucking tired. I get it, I’m in bed 24/7 so how can I be tired, right? My body doesn’t even understand awake and rest anymore. It’s not sure if it’s supposed to be up or down. I’m never comfortable anymore. There’s always pain. I’m not a neurologist and I haven’t had a recent MRI, but I know that my PPMS is active again. I believe it’s been happening over the past couple weeks or so. I have no energy at all. It’s hard to lift my head at times. I am so scared that I’m not sure what to do anymore. So I find these motivational quotes on an app that I thought might help me.I have courage, I haven’t given up on myself, so when am I going to be cut a break. These motivational quotes don’t work for everyone. I know, I know, if I look really hard it can work for me. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Sorry if I’m not miss optimistic right now. Most likely it is BECAUSE of my recent conversation with Independence Blue Cross. 

It seems that I am also going to have to fight, a.k.a. jump through hoops to be able to get to my doctors appointments. I haven’t been able to get out of my bed for so long (OK we did finally get me up for a shower last Saturday. But, it’s NOT gonna happen again because I can’t go through that pain again) I haven’t been to my doctors since before August 18, 2019. (my wonderful ER visit) So the gentleman from Independence Blue Cross found me a couple of non-emergent transports that they will cover in network that can possibly take me to my appointments. All I have to do is call these places to see which one will do it, ie; take me pick me up blah blah blah. Then I need to find out when they’re available, an appointment for my doctor, not in that order, and then… Look on the back of my insurance card call the number to make sure I can get pre-certified for this non-emergent transport. Are you fucking kidding me! I guess this happens to a lot of people if they actually made a meme for it. He also gave me the names of in-home physical therapy companies that I can call and see if they might be able to help me. Once I find a company that I feel comfortable with, I need to get to my doctor to have my doctor send in the paperwork to hopefully get in-home PT. 😳 I don’t think that the people realize at Independence Blue Cross the amount of pain it causes me to have my legs moved in to their proper position. It’s not like I haven’t explained it to everyone, it’s because they don’t give a shit. They don’t seem to understand that with these type of muscle contractures that I have, it needs acute inpatient rehab so you are monitored with the proper pain medications. but as we know it’s all about the money. And because their rent-a-docs feel inpatient is not medically necessary for me, I get to go through excruciating amounts of pain with in home PT. 🤬

But, I am going to play their stupid silly little games. I am going to jump through their stupid silly little hoops. What they don’t understand, or maybe they do, is I’m not going to be quiet about any of it. This happens to too many people too often. For fucks sake’s they’re running my husband’s medical care as well. But, I digress, that’s a whole other blog that I will get into very soon. 😏

So this is where I’m at right now. I haven’t been sleeping because I cry so often I can’t breathe as my whole head gets stuffed up. And quite frankly, if my PPMS is active again, it’s on Independence Blue Cross for not letting me get the health care that my doctors are trying to get for me that I need!!! Yes I completely know that I have a bunch of run on sentences, so sue me. I have never once claimed to be a writer. That’s my baby sister.

I’m sorry if it’s getting monotonous regarding my health care insurance, but I am that squeaky wheel and I cannot be quiet anymore. As always, have courage and be kind.