Still looking for it…crawling to it…reaching for it. Is it really there? I always tell my friends when they come to me looking for hope it is there. 99% of the time they come back and tell me they found it. So, where is it for me?

After the MS walk I was sunburned, tired, and felt better than I had in a long time. I had almost ten whole days of feeling good. Guess that is all I am allowed at any given time. For the past 5 days my legs do not want to function, my head feels as if there is a fog inside and when I turn my head it feels like I might pass out. My hands are numb and I am crying at everything.

I should probably just be used to it, this is my MS. This is what happens to me. So deal with it right? hmmmmmmmm not so much. Why should i deal with it, why should i accept it?

My son is sick and my dd is coming down with something. I cannot get them to the doctor so hubby will have to take time off work and do the job i am supposed to do. Driving is not ‘good’ for me when I am down. So, what to do???

I’ll tell you what to do. Go with what my body is telling me and rest. I do not want to let my doctor know as he will have me in the hospital and that is not an option for me. So, I will rest and hope for that light. I will rest and hope for a better day. I will hope the day sometime soon where I can make some new things for my shop. Numb hands and jewelry design do not mix!! lol This is where the depression lies. I cannot be the mom I want to be or create my jewelry.

So, I will keep an eye on the horizon and look for that light…I will find it!
Blessings!

When the world says give up, hope whispers try it one more time!

In a world with ‘get thin quick’ pills, supplements, herbal this and that…Respect the NO!! If your item works for you GREAT! But, if I say I am not interested…I am not interested!! Stop and move on please!

I know what works for me, just as you know what works for you. We are human beings and we need food, real food. We do not need sugar substitutes and drinks and all the odd supplements. We do not need fat free, sugar free…might as well call em health free. Really, think about it, processed foods in your body…how do they process them? hmmmm

I take the vitamins I need for my body and eat the foods that are right for me. I know my MS and frankly some of the ‘miracle’ things out there are toxic to my MS. I do not need an immune booster, that is my already my problem. You cannot cure my MS, as there is NO cure. I have an auto immune deficiency, some of the ‘miracle’ things can hurt this. I do not eat soy, gluten, or certain beans and nuts. They are BAD for me. Milk is not my friend either.

I try to be nice, but some selling these products can make me crazy. Please, do what is right for you, but do not tell me what is right for me, as you will be wrong!!

My hubby has researched for 2 years now on the ways to help me and my MS. I lost 20 pounds my way and felt awesome!! I ate real foods with real fats and real sugars and light exercise. Minus the gluten! So, it worked and is working for me. I am so very happy your way works for you. Now plz, end it!!

Life is not about diets…it is about a healthy ‘diet’! There is a difference.

Remember, many of these ‘miracles’ are dangerous for people with certain disorders. Be very careful when you push your wares.

Realize too, these drinks, pills, etc are made and processed into what you take. Really, how natural is it? I’m just sayin’…

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. ~Jean Kerr, “Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall,” The Snake Has All the Lines, 1958

Well the weekend is almost over. It was quite uneventful. Got more things added to my shop, http://afabulousflair.artfire.com . We got the grocery shopping all done and some things shipped out.

Sometimes I wonder why we even blog. My life is not very exciting…some blogs I see are not all that exciting either. lol So, why do we blog?

I tend to blog when bored, angry, or upset. It is my way of getting it out so as not to internalize it. Does it bore people? Most likely yes. lol Which is why it is good that we have the choice to read it or not.

At one time I worried what everyone else thought about me. Was I pretty enough? Was I thin enough? Was I the kind of person people would like?

I realized in my mid 20’s, it did not matter what anyone thought of me, but only what I thought of myself. So, now, I do not really care what people think of my blogs or anything else about me. I am who I am and am very open about that.

Sometimes I read other blogs and wonder if some of these people are for real. This is the Internet and it easy to be someone who you are not. I have come across a few of those in my 12 + years on the net. So, what do we believe and who should we believe? Does it really matter? The majority of those people you will never meet in real life. So if not being who they are, without hurting another, is what gets them through the day then does it matter?

I am not able to live a fictitious life. So for me what you ‘read’ is what you get. lol If you like it great, if not it’s all good.

So here we are…uneventful weekend, uneventful blog.
Stayed tuned as we never know what tomorrow will bring!
Blessings…

I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. ~Ancient Persian Saying

I have been feeling pretty good since the walk/roll. lol I get nervous saying it though as ‘PoOf‘ it may go away! I figured since the sunburn and the whole day at the walk I would be totally zonked and feeling tired etc. It was a lot for me, yet it seems to have been a good thing. I’m thinking my body NEEDED the sun. I do not ‘do’ the sun much anymore, and miss it so. The only issue I have been having is leg swelling, which gets to hurting. I know it is from sitting for so long in one position while making my jewelry and things. So, basically I can live with it, as it means I am creating again.

I added some new supplies to my shop here: http://mztracyr.etsy.com I tend to over-buy and since I do not like to make more than one of most things, I get over stock.

I got some new things added to my shop as well: http://afabulousflair.artfire.com I am very proud of my new things. It can be hard to make certain things for me. Where it may take someone an hour to make something, it will take me two. I drop things all the time, my hands shake, etc. But I will keep at it until it is finished. So, when you buy from me, you know it has been made with complete love and care. I am also anal…lol!! I keep hand sanitizer next to me and use it after each piece is made. Then once the piece is done, I wear surgical gloves to polish and clean it and take the pics of the item then place it in it’s organza bag. My gloves are cool, they are blue!! lol

The only items that will be alike are a few of the awareness items. When it comes to jewelry, charms etc, I think it is cool knowing you truly do have a one-of-a-kind. I may use the same beads for things, but never the same design. So it is highly unlikely you will ever meet someone wearing the same thing! lol

So now I am off to create some more new things while I am feeling well. I never know from day to day how I will feel, so I am going to seize the good days!!

Blessings to all!!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader’s Digest, June 1995

The walk on saturday was great. Roger and Shelby went with me. I was going to take tons of pics with my new camera but…I forgot it!! DOH! I did get a few with my cell. They came out black and white as one of my kids set it to that. arrrgghh lol I did not know until after the walk when i checked the pics. The balloons were bright orange and so pretty. White and green ones too. lol

The weather was a bit hot for me, but I had on my hat and every now and then a cool breeze would hit us. Roger and Shelby went with me and we had a blast.

We got there and signed in and then i cruised around to get all the goodies that are given away each year. I got a great lil mini pack and lots of pens and a license frame. We got 4 ms walk t-shirts and i qualified for the messenger bag.

After the walk there was food and entertainment and raffles.

The best part was seeing my former MS yoga teacher Colleen. I just love her and she is getting eric small to come back and do a yoga seminar again for us. I saw so many of my ole yoga buddies. My favorite reunion was with my gurl Tina’s family. Every walk I do now i do for tina. She is my friend who passed at 40 due to her MS. She was taken away much too soon. If you look at my pic, i am wearing the shirt in her honor. It was so nice to see some of her family again.

The only set back is the sunburn…i figured we would not be long, hmmmmmmm i live in the desert!! DUH me. I did not even think about sunscreen. My arms will be paying for this for a bit. They hurt so flippen bad…thank God for aloe!!

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. ~Author Unknown

Yesterday was crap!! I have not made new jewelry in a week or so. Went out to my area where i create and my hands would not stop shaking. I got so depressed and was ready to forget making anything more at all. It took me over 2 hours to make a simple necklace, and when i was done i took it apart and went to my room and took something to calm my hands and slept.

I was pissed, sad, angry, irritated, and not fun to be around. I am 99% of the time the type of person who laughs and makes jokes about my MS. Yesterday I had enough of it. First, do not give me the God only gives you what you can handle shmeel!! It does not say that anywhere in the bible, TY! If this was true, then he is a cruel God. I suffer, my kids suffer, my hubby suffers thanks to this disease. So please do not go there.

So, the 1% anger and frustration came on hard. I had the pity party of a lifetime. It was excellent!! lol

For me i get angry because my abilities are going much too fast. I am progressive and that really pisses me off. One time I was upset and asked why me? Some incompetent buffoon said, ‘well why not you?’! WTF…then why not YOU?! Please, never say that to someone who has a health issue or other disability. Usually it is the person who has no clue about it and has gr8 health! SHADDUP please. Pray that YOU are the never the one it happens to.

Losing your ability to walk, bathe alone, get out of bed by yourself at 45 is not what my life was supposed to be. My mom and sister should not have had to fight Cancer, and the list goes on.

I try and do all the ‘healthy’ things for my MS and my body. NO DIET Drinks…no DIET crap of any kind, as all the aspartame and fake substitutes are really bad for AI disorders. I try to go as gluten free as I can, no preservatives, good REAL food, etc. So, yes, I do ask, WHY ME??

I had someone tell me I willed it, my faith was not good. WTF…this told over the net as if she had said it to me straight, my shaky hands would have knocked the shit outta her!! The book the secret!! Excuse me, if you people believe anyone wills this crap by their thoughts or how they live…YOU need help!! The writer of that book probably got up one day and said, ‘hmmmm how can i make a crap load of money talking out of my arse?!” I pray no one close to him/her ever gets chronic debilitating disease. What r u gonna write about then??!!

HA! I feel better…not great, but better! And for those who use handicapped parking that do not need it…Karma WILL come back and bite you in the butt hard one day. Maybe, you may even end up truly needing the space one day! HA!

I’m out!!! Aren’t you glad!! lmao…

It’s always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown

An email I received today:

Hey Tracy, I came across your profile on ArtFire, and I would like to feature your work. I’m part of a new project, Us Trendy, for aspiring fashion, accessory designers and artists. I think your handmade items are great. We are also connecting designers and artists to buyers and retailers. If you are interested then: you sign up, upload your work, and then let me know so I can be sure your work is highlighted and properly featured. Also, we have a store that you can sell your work in. Let me know when your work is up (email: xxxxxxxx) so I can feature it on top of our fashion page. Check it out at http://www.ustrendy.com. Let me know if you have any questions- Thanks! 🙂

I am not dumb and I am sure this was sent to alot of people, but it still made me feel good. I joined up there and it is kind of cool. My only problem now is finding enough hours in the day to handle all my sites. lol hmmmmmm thinking I take on way too much sometimes. But, it keeps me out of the pubs!! lmao

So here is my Us Trendy: http://www.ustrendy.com/a-fabulous-flair/
if you have a minute drop by and leave me some ‘stars’…5 would be nice!!
If you join up too, tell them tracy from a fabulous flair sent ya.

As always…Blessings to all!

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. ~Twyla Tharp

For the past two nights my left ankle and foot have swelled up pretty bad. I have small ankles and skinny feet. lol So, when it happens it is quite obvious. It happens from time to time due to circulation and the fact I mostly sit. But it has been a while. I think, right now, it is due to the fact I sit for such long periods of time making jewelry.

So, Ashley has forbidden me to sit too much today. She gets very nervous when she this stuff happening to me. So, she has just informed me that I have been sitting for long enough and now it is time to lie down and put my legs up!!

She is so very cute!! So I am off for a bit. Will be back later on!
Blessings!

The family is a haven in a heartless world. ~Attributed to Christopher Lasch

So many things go on in my mind and more and more I have a hard time of prioritizing them.

I can never seem to find the time to just sit and make jewelry. I get so caught up in organizing it all that by the time i am done with that there is no time left. Then when i have the time the motivation goes buh bye!

We are still waiting to find out if the actors will strike. They and the producers need to make up their greedy minds one way or another. So many are losing their homes due to the BS between the two. The actors are not working much while the ‘talks’ go on, so there is no work for all the ‘little’ people and they are suffering. While the actors live off residuals and have health insurance, all the people that make it possible for them to work are hurting. I would love to see the ‘actors’ rigging their own lighting and doing set design. PUHLEEZE!! Drop a light on em I say. My good friend is about to lose her home due to the slow work. Her hubby is a driver for movies etc. They have 4 kids for God’s sake. Get over the greed, and get back to work!! They are really pissing alot of people off!! Get in new actors and get rid of the old has beens…

And why the hell are the bank presidents that screwed us still in command? Why do they have their jobs still?? Fire their asses and hold them accountable!! As for Congress…what the hell are you doing to our country?? I cannot even talk about the incompetence of many of them. Taking from our seniors, our kids…they should be ashamed. Stop lining your friggen pockets and do the right thing. AS IF that will happen. The greed and the power of our politicians is so disgusting. They go along with out Insurance companies and drug companies. How the hell do any of these people sleep at night?? Probably like babies, as they do not give a shit about those they work for!! Our fore-fathers are certainly turning over in their graves. WE the People for the People…

Please President Obama, save our Country and show the strength you so spoke about. Do not become like them. Get rid of those that wish to only line their pockets and watch the ‘people’ suffer from their ivory towers!!

PHEW, that felt good. Sorry to ramble…
Blessings!

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. ~Richard Armour

The new The Light Fandango Candles is now open for business.
A whole new design, but the same great candles. I am a candle lover and know good candle. These are the best. Drop by if you get a chance, you will not be sorry!!

Blessings!

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. ~William James