Category: Medical

FUCK · HELL · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS

Broken

Tracy1 Comment

I am really in the thick of it right now. I have not heard back from Independence Blue Cross, so I’m in limbo. Most likely I’ll have to call Accolade who is the go-between. We pay so much money for health insurance every year, yet we are not ‘allowed’ to speak to the actual insurance company reps!! 🤔 It is absolutely ridiculous. Independence Blue Cross is 💯% withholding care from me. How can that be acceptable? Independence Blue Cross is really a joke. The incompetence over there is astounding.

I’m tired… But I’m not going to stop… I’m broken… But I’m not going to stop…

Have courage and be kind! < The people at Independence Blue Cross should really take heed of that simple sentence. I really do wonder how they sleep at night. 

Anger · FUCK · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

Manic Monday – Insurance Saga

Tracy2 Comments

My lastest dealings with Independence Blue Cross was all about getting phone numbers from the representative at IBX  for non-emergent transport, PT places etc. Today I made my appointment, far in advance, for my pain management doctor. I called the non-emergent transport companies that were given to me from Independence Blue Cross. I know, redundant, here’s why… The first company I called told me they no longer take Blue Cross insurance. The second company I called said they no longer take Blue Cross insurance because they never get paid from Independence Blue Cross insurance. 😳 The third company said, you have to call the week of your appointment and then there are no guarantees that there will be availability. OK well that’s just fucking fantastic! So let’s recap; the phone numbers that I received from the representative at Independence Blue Cross were ALL dead ends. Now I could pay cash for one of them which would be $283 upfront and then $75 an hour for however long it takes for your appointment. Alrighty then I guess I’ll just pull that cash out of my ass. So tell me what the fuck is the point of having health insurance if it doesn’t help you. We pay thousands of dollars for this insurance and at this point they basically have told me to fuck off and die in my bed. I’m not even going to get into calling the physical therapy places, because talking to those people dropped my IQ many points. I just needed to know if they’ve dealt with people that have contractures things like that. Not one of them could answer the question. It was as if they were reading off a script, “All of our physical therapists are very good. They do their jobs well.” OK good for them, that’s not what I fucking asked you. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My first reaction to all of this this morning was to completely snap. But I held it together. I took deep breath’s and started uncontrollably laughing. I am so angry right now there is no way to even measure the anger that is boiling up inside of me. I know more than anyone, that it’s not good for me blah blah blah. But come the fuck on… Cut me a fucking break… Why can’t one thing work out for me like it’s supposed to. Why??!! I’ll tell you why, INCOMPETENCE!! I’m dealing with people that are reading out of a notebook that the insurance company gets them. I’m dealing with people that have no humanity. I’m dealing with people that would be happy if I just took it and died. Well I have news for you Independence Blue Cross, I’m not going anywhere in fact I’m going to be your worst fucking nightmare! This right here is the end of my rope. Please believe me when I tell you, you really have no idea what you’ve done! 

And as always, have courage and be kind! 

Anger · FUCK · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Strength

Manic Monday – Insurance Saga

TracyLeave a comment

My lastest dealings with Independence Blue Cross was all about getting phone numbers from the representative at IBX  for non-emergent transport, PT places etc. Today I made my appointment, far in advance, for my pain management doctor. I called the non-emergent transport companies that were given to me from Independence Blue Cross. I know, redundant, here’s why… The first company I called told me they no longer take Blue Cross insurance. The second company I called said they no longer take Blue Cross insurance because they never get paid from Independence Blue Cross insurance. 😳 The third company said, you have to call the week of your appointment and then there are no guarantees that there will be availability. OK well that’s just fucking fantastic! So let’s recap; the phone numbers that I received from the representative at Independence Blue Cross were ALL dead ends. Now I could pay cash for one of them which would be $283 upfront and then $75 an hour for however long it takes for your appointment. Alrighty then I guess I’ll just pull that cash out of my ass. So tell me what the fuck is the point of having health insurance if it doesn’t help you. We pay thousands of dollars for this insurance and at this point they basically have told me to fuck off and die in my bed. I’m not even going to get into calling the physical therapy places, because talking to those people dropped my IQ many points. I just needed to know if they’ve dealt with people that have contractures things like that. Not one of them could answer the question. It was as if they were reading off a script, “All of our physical therapists are very good. They do their jobs well.” OK good for them, that’s not what I fucking asked you. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My first reaction to all of this this morning was to completely snap. But I held it together. I took deep breath’s and started uncontrollably laughing. I am so angry right now there is no way to even measure the anger that is boiling up inside of me. I know more than anyone, that it’s not good for me blah blah blah. But come the fuck on… Cut me a fucking break… Why can’t one thing work out for me like it’s supposed to. Why??!! I’ll tell you why, INCOMPETENCE!! I’m dealing with people that are reading out of a notebook that the insurance company gets them. I’m dealing with people that have no humanity. I’m dealing with people that would be happy if I just took it and died. Well I have news for you Independence Blue Cross, I’m not going anywhere in fact I’m going to be your worst fucking nightmare! This right here is the end of my rope. Please believe me when I tell you, you really have no idea what you’ve done! 

And as always, have courage and be kind! 

Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Strength

Thursday Thoughts

Tracy

Sadly people with chronic illness do this all the time. We do it because we know others don’t REALLY want to know how we REALLY feel. We know when you ask us, “How are you?“ That you don’t want us to get down to the nitty-gritty. The answer you want is the one we give, “I’m fine.”

Let’s face it that’s the easiest answer to give. I’ve literally watched peoples eyes glaze over when I do tell them how I REALLY feel. When that happens I usually just stop talking and ask them how they are. Trust me, they love to talk about how they are. And that’s OK. It’s human nature.

Have courage and be kind…

Anger · Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Strength

Down with the Sickness Tuesday

Tracy

Yes we do. My daughter was diagnosed with type A flu yesterday. People at my husbands work we’re also diagnosed type A flu. On Sunday I was not feeling very well. Yesterday my fever was going from 100 up to 102 and finally broke at 2 AM. NyQuil take me away! Oh that stuff is the bomb. You need nothing else.

Unfortunately I’m pissed. I called my neurologist because in the 23 years I’ve been going to him since diagnosis, I’ve always been told to call when things like this happen. Being that I have a compromised immune system and I’m over 50 the type a flu can be dangerous. I put in a call to my doctor last night. The receptionist said, “You know this is a neurologist office right?” No really? Oh my God I had no idea! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I felt like saying you know you work at a neurologist office and things like this can be very dangerous for people with a compromised immune system. But, I didn’t. She sent me off to leave a message with my doctor’s nurse. I left a message I heard nothing back. I just called a little bit ago I left another message. A little more blunt and to the point. When (If) they call back I’m also going to remind them about a medication refill I called about sometime ago and a fax that they needed to send out for me. Neither happened. I would’ve forgotten about those things if this hadn’t happened and upset me so. After 23 years with this doctor today I’ve been looking for other neurologists. I really need to get to UCLA but until I can get out of my bed without pain, I don’t think my insurance company will cover a non-emergent transport. What do people like me do? How do people that are bedridden get to the doctors and get the help they need? Sadly, I don’t think it matters… sadly I don’t think we matter…

Have courage and be kind!

Health · HELL · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Primary Progressive MS · Quotes · Ramblings · Sarcasm · Strength

Thursday Feelings – I am a Warrior

Tracy2 Comments

I’m kind of excited I found a non-emergency transport so that I can get to my doctors. If I can work it out perfectly I can make my appointments for the same day. It’s nice that all my doctors are in the same building. It’s going to be so much easier going by stretcher then having to try to sit for any period of time in my wheelchair. I can’t even get my wheelchair so I think this is going to be good. I think I’ll buy a crown for that day and as they’re pushing me through, I’ll put my hand up and do the wave. 😂

I’m going to talk to my doctor about contracture surgery as well as rehab. Maybe that’s the route to go. I’ve been trying to find the perfect in-home PT group from the names the Blue Cross rep gave me, but that’s not helping. All they tell me is, “Our rehab people are good.” I’m sure they are. I’m asking if they deal with muscle contractures. Frankly I don’t think any of them know what that is. 🤔 I just want to know how in-home therapy is going to be able to help me with the pain. They don’t. I need to be in a facility if I want any pain help. So I guess I’m just going to grit my teeth. 😁 I can tell that this is going to be a lot of fun…

Now I need to get my appointments, get the certification from the insurance company, and get a time slot for the transport. Oh how I love jumping through all these hoops just to go to my doctor. Oh well, we do what we Gotta do. 😏
Time to straighten my crown and get shit done. 🖤Have courage and be kind

Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings · Strength

Be the squeaky wheel!

TracyLeave a comment

This is true on all kinds of levels. But, when it comes to your healthcare, it should NOT be this way!

An update to my healthcare insurance fiasco: it’s all been approved for my ER visit. Now I know this should make me really happy, and it does. The only problem I have with all of this, is that it took so much of my spirit and caused so much stress for something that was, an ‘error’. my question, is what if I hadn’t appealed or been so loud about it? That ‘error’ would’ve cost me over $20,000. Unfortunately I know there are people out there that don’t know their rights. There are people out there that don’t know how to appeal. There are people out there that don’t have an army of amazing friends that will retweet and help. We need healthcare reform on different levels. We need better advocacy for people to be able to fight. We need better healthcare insurance so that companies don’t have these, ‘errors’!

So yes, I’m very happy this all got taken care of, but it should not have happened in the first place. I am very thankful for the representative I spoke with that helped me, but it should not have happened in the first place.My advice to people who get these outrageous medical bills where your insurance company is denying you. Don’t stop fighting! Scream About it to everyone as loud as you can! Look for the right type of attorneys if you need to. And in all my fun dealings with this I gained a little knowledge. An Erisa Attorney is where you want to start your search. Take it to the Internet, take it to the newspapers, the news stations, anywhere you feel you could be heard!  

We need to be heard when we are denied healthcare. We need to stop letting the health insurance companies run our medical care and act like they are our doctors. They are NOT!! I am not going to give up or stop being heard. We are all human beings and we all deserve healthcare regardless of our income, our gender, our race. 

Be loud, be heard. Have courage and be kind.

Health · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · PAIN · Ramblings · RANDOM · Sadness · Strength

DeNiEd AgAiN

Tracy1 Comment

Some of the not so great things that happened to me in the past six months or so is that I was denied acute physical therapy rehab. I went through every one of their appeals and was denied every time. They say for me it’s not medically necessary and basically that’s the only reason given. Let me think, I have severe hip contractures due to being bedridden, yet acute physical therapy isn’t medically necessary for me. 🤔 The story goes a little something like this…

On August 18, 2019 my husband was trying to get me into the sling for my Hoyer lift so I could get out of bed. As he started lifting me and the sling pulled up around my body, the pain was so excruciating I really believed my hips were going to break. Needless to say I never made it all the way up or out of my bed. We called 911 and I was taken to Palmdale regional medical Center. At that time we weren’t really sure what my hip pain was. We knew that my knees and ankles had contracture issues, but my pain management doctor was saying it might be arthritis, osteoporosis etc.. The ER doctor explained that my hips had contractures just like the rest of my legs. It was as if a💡went off in my head. Like, no shit… oh my god how could my other doctor(s) not figure this the fuck out. The rehab institute at Palmdale regional medical Center was where I had been for one month in February 2018, so I asked if they could contact my doctors and try to get me back in. It took the next two nights and three days before Independence Blue Cross came back with, DENIED. After exhausting all four of my appeals, (4months) I was DENIED Rehab. Not medically necessary. I completely understand that the doctors that work at these insurance companies are basically rent-a-docs that probably can’t get a job at a legitimate place, but come on, I’m the poster child for rehab.  In fact, for how severe my contractures are, the only options are surgery or acute physical therapy. So that in a nutshell is my denial for, realistically, life-saving therapy for me…Now on to my new dilemma where I’m being denied. They are now saying that they will not pay for my ER visit because it was not an emergency. 🤬 When a representative from Independence Blue Cross called me to ask about this appeal for this charge, I told her what the emergency was. I explained the same thing that is stated above; how I was trying to get out of bed with the use of my Hoyer lift and the pain was so excruciating from the muscle contracture’s that I could not do it. I could not move!! Now in my book that’s a fucking emergency. obviously it was an emergency enough that they paid for the ambulance. I mean really for fucks sake.

(Attached) is what the incompetent person, I’m trying to be nice about this, said in the DENIAL letter. “You stated that you were experiencing difficulty and could not stand so you went to the emergency room for services” is she fucking kidding me?!! First off I would never have said that because I haven’t been able to stand for 6 years 2 months!!! For fucks sake I’ve barely been able to get out of my bed. I’m not sure what part of, I’m bedridden and I was having pain in my hips trying to be lifted in my Hoyer lift, that she didn’t understand. So she either lied on that form or she just didn’t give a shit to listen to what I had to say.I bet it’s a little bit of both… Lied so that the insurance company wouldn’t have to pay which falls right in line with doesn’t really give a shit. I have a call in to her, so we will see if she calls back. They are on EST and right now it’s 4:56 PM PST, so I bet she’s just not gonna call back. I really believe that these people and these money corporations do this often so people like me are not given the care that is needed. They think they can be our doctors and that they know better than our doctors.🖕

So now I get to deal with all of this. Sorry the little attachment above is a little wrinkled. When I read that line for the first time, I lost it. Everything and anything in my reach was thrown. When I realized I was trying to pull my hair out and the scratching on my face started hurting I just broke down into a big heap of tears.

At this point my body has deteriorated more and more and my muscle contractures have gotten worse and worse. I have so many calls in to so many people and they either don’t call back, or they’re rude. If anyone reads this and you know of anyone that could help me, attorney, disability advocate, hell a juggler, 😜 please send them my way. I really don’t know how much longer I can go on. Have courage and be kind.



Medical · Ramblings · RANDOM

The joys of a urostomy

Tracy5 Comments

I love the beach! I grew up going to Santa Monica Beach all the time and I just love all beaches. I love the water, Pisces here, and I love or at least used to love feeling the sand beneath my feet. I don’t love the beach however when it’s all inside my bladder. 😮 Nope… DON’T like it one bit. This issue happened two years ago and it looks like it’s going to have to be taken care of every couple of years from now on. 😭 You see, when they built my stoma for my urostomy they used part of the bowel. Can you say infection much!? I guess I didn’t really understand the whole process until after the fact. In all honesty there wasn’t much I could’ve done anyway because it had to be done. Thank you multiple sclerosis you fucking piece of shit disease. I’m sorry off-base a little, so now my bladder looks like you’re underwater on a rocky shoreline. it also looks like, I think, a dinosaurs 🦖 lair where they keep their eggs. 😅

And… it looks like there’s an alien and a set of twins hanging out in my bladder! I think I should ask for rent or something. 😂

On August 7 I will be going in and they will be inserting in a much larger tube into my bladder to hopefully clean out all my little stones. I’m a little bummed because I was hoping I could keep them and make a necklace or something out of them. I know, I know, gross. 😜 I have to find the humor in all things or I really wouldn’t want to be here anymore…

So that’s what’s been going on with me. Not much change in the paint department and I’m still pretty much trapped in my bed. But I am working on it and I hope to remember to blog a little more because I miss it. 🖤

Have courage and be kind…

Anger · Fear · Hope · Medical · Multiple Sclerosis · Primary Progressive MS · Ramblings

Procrastinate for 500 please

Tracy1 Comment

Lately I think I do a lot of this in regards to doctors appointments etc. My procrastination comes from the fear of the pain it will cause to go to said doctors appointments etc. Just taking a shower is painful AF. And it’s all about my hips due to the fact my legs have been frog legs for over five years now.  And my husband rolls me over on my side I can’t explain the pain in my hip joint area. And then the moment I am in my Hoyer lift and he starts to raise it up, as my hips turn in their joint to the proper sitting position all I can do is cry.  My left hand which I have problems with, already ends up in a claw like fist when the pain hits and I literally can’t speak or function. And therein lies the main reason I don’t want to get up anymore. I can no longer handle the pain. I don’t even want to go to my pain management doctor because as I stated above it hurts to get up and be a normal person sitting like a normal person. So what can I do? I try to move my legs as much as possible on my own which is sometimes futile. My family can’t do it they have lives of their own and my husband doesn’t have time to work with me every day.

Unfortunately like you see in the movies people that are ill have caregivers that come in and out of the home. It’s not like that in real life  unless you can afford it or the state provides it.  Neither of which will happen for me. We live paycheck to paycheck but supposedly we make too much to be allowed help. Go figure 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wish it were like the movies because then I would have a physical therapist helping me daily, someone to help with my meals, showers, and my well-being. But it’s not like the movies. Lately I’ve noticed people are talking about the celebrities that have been diagnosed with MS blah blah blah. I feel for them, I do, but I don’t believe they go through the same types of issues that many of us have. They can afford getting the help they need and all that comes with being a celebrity.  I completely feel for them because they’re stuck with this fucked up disease, but I guarantee having money makes  having chronic illness a bit easier. Or maybe it doesn’t. What do I know?!

I really don’t mean to sound so bitter, but I am a little bit. LOL I think this is all coming out right now because it’s a new year and I am very clearheaded and I am confused and afraid because I really don’t know where to begin or how to get myself better.

Fuck it… I’ll think about it tomorrow… Because tomorrow is another day.

Have courage and be kind