anger · Animals · boredom · confession · Craziness · Darkness · Death · Depression

Just lost my freaking mind…

 

This cat, Zoe. I rescued her from the pound eight years ago. I knew I wanted to get an older cat and not a kitten. Zoe was two years and old she had been returned twice. ( now I know why ) They handed her to me in my wheelchair and she immediately crawled up under my neck and started purring, she was the one. The second I got her home, and lifted her out of the box, she gave me one look, and ran off towards my daughters room. I pretty much have not seen her since. LOL

 So today she comes in my room and won’t even look at me. I’m calling her name she literally won’t even look at me. She has no idea that all she has to do is be friends with me and she’ll have EVERYTHING! 😊 I’m rattling some crinkle paper to play with her, she won’t even look at me. My husband calls to her she looks right over him, my other daughter comes in she goes right to her. What the fuck is wrong with this cat. LOL all the animals love me for god sake‘s! LOL ( A lot of LOL‘s ) because it’s funny  and I’m funny! 😂

 So, back to the story. After she ignored me for five minutes I looked at my hubby and started sobbing. He looked at me and said that it’s OK, she loves me she  is just hungry and wants one of them to feed her. That’s why she’s ignoring me. But it wasn’t even about the cat. #ItIsNotAboutTheCat We know that. I literally can’t stop crying right now.  It’s not like I even feel sad it’s just, I don’t fucking know what. I’ve been trying to be so positive and up beat and it’s actually killing me. Because I’m not happy!

But everybody wants you to find the good and to always be happy. And, as usual, I’m doing everything  everybody else wants me to do.

 Why can’t we be sad sometimes. Why is it so hard to just let others vent. Sometimes when we lash out or vent what’s hurting us we don’t expect you to come up with an answer. We just want to feel like somebody cares, give us a hug, a kind word. Personally people that are always shiny happy upbeat make me really fucking nervous. You know they’ve  got secrets and stories they’re hiding.  And if you say they don’t, you’re really naïve. But OK, I’ll go back to make everybody else happy. Isn’t that what everybody wants?

Peace ✌️

5 thoughts on “Just lost my freaking mind…

  1. You want to vent or scream or cry or bitch, go right ahead, you have a lot of ears and hearts open to listen and love you. Quick story-we had a sweet black cat years ago (she and her siblings were abandoned in a box as kittens) who was so aloof that she would hide when everyone was home, peek around corners, etc..when hub left for work and son for school, that baby girl became a different cat…full of life and so much light in her eyes..I believe we are all unsure of things inside, but with understanding, reassurance, love, anything is possible. ♥️♥️♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am glad you shared this story! The other day the cat we have had for 13 years had me in tears because she was just walking around the couch, walking all over me but would not just lay down. I was sitting the pleading with her to lay down and relax with me but she would not do it! My husband came over and asked why I was crying. When I tried explaining why I was so upset he basically told me I was acting crazy. I was just having a bad day, was in a lot of pain, tired and under way too much stress and my poor cat just tipped all my emotions over. I know I was crying for more reasons than just her but my husband just wasn’t understanding me and left the room. How mean!!!
    We are full within our right to be sad some days and those around us just need to try to understand and be kind to us!!
    I am sending you lots of love and comfort always!!

    Liked by 1 person

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