This blog is my blog. It is for me to share my life with my friends and my family and anyone who has an interest. It is to tell the stories of a crazy lady living with MS…moi!

When all the crap happened to me at the hospital I used it, MY blog, to reach out to my readers for support through a time that encompassed my world in a not so good way. I never wanted nor asked for your sympathy or pity. That’s not what I want. I needed…NEEDED support and friendship. That is why I shared my experience with you all.

This past year I have progressed more than any year previous, but still found the humor and tried to always add something in my blogs for a giggle. Even in my Hell Hospital blogs I tried to add humor.

During my stay in the big house, I was informed that I have acquired 3 new active lesions on my spine. With all the hospital terror and the issues of late, I put that aside and put it to the back of my mind. I am terrified of what these lesions could mean. No one can really give me a definitive answer. Is this the reason I can no longer use my walker and rely on my wheel-chariot now more than ever? Am I on my way to total paralysis? Again, no one knows. But either way I will deal with it as it comes. My inner spirit is strong.

There may be days I will be down, happens when you have a chronic illness that takes from you every day. But, as I have said before, NEVER confuse my tears or sadness for weakness as you will be wrong. I am strong in mind, heart, and soul. I do make it through the rain EVERY day of my life. I  do this with the help of my family and my friends that accept me for who I am and not what they want me to be.

I was told I look for sympathy and feel sorry for me cards [whatever the fuck that meant]. In this case this was one of the ‘the pot totally calling the kettle black’ things. Sympathy and the feel sorry me BS is something I have no time for.

This is a blog about a woman who lives with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. Of course there will be blogs that might be a tad depressing. DUH!!! But, you will always find HOPE in my writings. I end every blog with ‘Blessings and Hope’! Why, because there always is Hope!!

I am only me, and will no longer apologize for that! No one should ever apologize for being who they are.

So, here it is, take me as I am and I will do the same for you. If you feel I have wronged you, talk to me, come to me and I will show you the same courtesy. I am not a liar as I have no reason to lie.  I am not a manipulative person, but have found that many have tried to manipulate me. Do not do it again!!

I will now be back to my former sarcastic, a bit crazy, mentoring blogging in hopes that maybe I can help someone in a similar situation. Maybe we can help each other. And btw, I do still make some wicked tasty lemonade from the lemons life has given me.

Thank you for being here and reading me. As new details arise regarding the hell hospital situation, I will update. [if you do not want to read em, then move the fuck on] 🙂

And, as always…

Blessings and Hope!!

Comments
  1. Ruby Cantu says:

    I totally get that this is your venue to do so as you so wish. I have my own place too where I can bitch and moan all I want, have my pity party or spew nonsense. I love your blog for the realness I find here….no sugar coated nonsense. Given what life has thrown at you I am in awe at how you handle yourself….you are entitled to have your pity parties and anyone bothered by that can just move on. You know who your true friends are…love ya and here for you.

    Like

  2. Kat says:

    aw sweetie. Futt – em.. LOL I know you never have pitty partys, because I never get invited to them.. 😉
    If you ever do have one though, invite me, it’d be a blast! We could pitty – party NY style! LOL
    Truthfully Tracy, You live your life amazingly! You are my HERO! Always have been since the first post I read of yours back in Montel Williams Support Group days! I knew you were and still are an amazing lady! I am PROUD to call you my BEST FRIEND, even how far you are from me, for the past 9 years! They’ve been an amazing journey, and we are not even done yet! We will one day meet again! And when I do, I will hug you so long to make up for all the ones I have missed! I love you with all my heart, and you keep being ‘YOU’ no matter who don’t like it!! Don’t ever stop.. big wet smushy xoxo’s

    Like

    • Tracy says:

      u r always invited mini-me!! duh!! lol
      TY my BFF, I soooooo wished we lived closer!!
      I love you so much and ya make me cry goober!!
      mwah mwah mwah!!
      xoxo

      Like

  3. feathermaye says:

    Tracy, in so many ways you are so much stronger than me.

    I walked away from my personal blog about a year ago, after getting fed up with the drama and cruelty that floats so freely in the blogosphere. And my blog rarely contained anything of great substance, as yours does here.

    I’m so proud to call you friend. You have tenacity when so many others would call it quits and cave under the pressure of it all.

    Love you much, MzT. Let the haters hate. Karma is a b i t c h.

    Like

    • Tracy says:

      ty Heather!!

      I got so used to the drama that I finally said aw feck em. Let em read it, if no likey move the hell on!!

      Personally i think you are pretty amazing!!

      I love KARMA!!! 😉
      love ya too!!
      xoxo

      Like

  4. Marya1961 says:

    Yeah!..love paragraph 10, you rock!! xo

    Like

  5. Mal, you KNOW that I know you, and I hope you know how much I dearly, deeply love you. While its true that our lives are busy, and we don’t talk like we used to, please know that you live in my heart, and I think of you always. You are so strong, so much stronger than I ever thought you (or ANYONE) could be. I am proud to call you my friend, my partner in crime, my Sissy.

    And, about those people who seem to want to build themselves up on your pain… fuck ’em if they can’t take the heat.

    I love you,
    Lizzie

    Like

    • Tracy says:

      First, I love you my sister!!
      Second ty for being here right now, it really is helping me.
      I am soooo happy we met those many years ago…geez it’s like 27 years now! WOW! And we are still smokin’ hot! 😉

      TY for your continued support in my life!!
      I loves ya!
      xoxo

      Like

  6. R. G. Maines says:

    Tracy,
    Some people are afraid to feel, they are afraid of having to face themselves, they bitch and moan and carry on over ridiculous nonsense, petty things that have no real meaning… when they are confronted with someone like us, they are confronted with their own pettiness, insincerity and weaknesses.

    I use my blog for the same purposes you do… to talk about what’s important to me, to vent and share about my struggles and successes. My blog is the place I can let off some steam, without burdening my family, without feeling guilty about needing to vent. If people don’t like it, they have the option of clicking the red ‘x’ in the upper right hand corner of their screen, no one forces them to come and read.

    You just keep doing what you’re doing… You inspire by just being you!

    Love & ((Hugs)) oxox

    Like

  7. Kathy says:

    I wish people would just get a freakin’ clue. Haters do not have a life and they want to suck your’s out of you.

    You, I predict, will blow off the steam, and get back to living your life as best you know how. Call me psychic 🙂 but you are a very resilient woman.

    A while back you made a turquoise necklace. I bought it. I can’t wear it, but I use it as a decoration and every time I look at it I smile and think of you.

    Piss and moan for a moment about the idiots. Cruel people need to be held up to the light and examined like the bugs they are. And then squish ’em and throw ’em in the toilet. Flush!

    Hang in there baby!

    Like

    • Tracy says:

      I flushed!! lol

      OK, why can’t you wear the necklace? If you need it longer, changed, etc…send it back and I will get it all fixed up for you.

      TY for always being here!!
      xxxx

      Like

      • Kathy says:

        Make sure you flush twice because I think they’re #2 🙂

        I love my necklace just like it is! But me and necklaces…we just don’t get along (but I’m a total sucker for turquoise and I loved the way the necklace looked). I’m constantly tugging and playing with necklaces when I wear them. I tend to rub my neck raw doing that. Not bright.

        And since the fibro kicked in I can’t seem to even wear earrings…and the wedding ring got lost (definitely not my brightest moment) because I take it off and put it down because it bugs me.

        So my necklace is a beautiful piece of art that makes me happy to look at!

        I may not “always be there” for you, but I definitely enjoy your friendship and will have your back in any way I can. You good people, MzTracy!

        Like

  8. Frannie1964 says:

    I’m with Marya,

    Paragraph 10 Rules!!

    And if someone doesn’t want to read your blogs, then they can move on and quit their Bitchin!!!

    (((HUGZ)))
    xoxoxoxox

    Like

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