Ramblings

The heat is not my friend!

Tracy14 Comments

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved the sun, the heat, the beauty of it all. Now, not so much! lol

Today is my dd’s first soccer game. I am unable to go. Why you ask? The heat. It is going to be 96 degrees today. I missed half of her games last year due to the heat, and it broke my heart. Now, here we are again.

We all hear the line…’I have MS, but it doesn’t have me!’ I feel that way, most days. Today…NOPE! It does have me today. It is keeping me from seeing my girl play her second year of soccer. It keeps me from being at her practices. So, there are times it DOES have me. Sometimes we need to be realistic in our situations. Today is that time for me. Yet, in a month or so, I will be able to go to her games as the weather will change and the cooler times will come. In this case, that is the light at the end of this tunnel. This year, I now have my wheel-chariot that can get me on the grass and the dirt tracks. So, there is my other light in the darkness.

I truly think it is in the way we perceive our trials. Do we only see the bad, or can we find the good? I try and the find the good. Does it always work? NO. Are there days when no good can be found? YES. Those are the days that inner strength finds her way in and helps me through. Do I hate having MS, degenerative disc disorder, colitis, migraines, fatigue, incontinence? EVERY DAY! Do I ask, ‘Why me?’ All the time. Do I cry in private so my family does not see my pain? All the time. Do I get angry that my kids have had to know me this way their whole lives and watch me slowly get worse? More than anything!! Did I lose my faith? Yes.

So, I find the humor to get through it all. I laugh when I fall. I laugh when I get the shakes. [hubby says I have the rhythm] I laugh as I try to get back up off the floor with the help of my kids. It is quite comical. Two skinny lil things trying to lift their 6′ tall mommy off the ground. So, in come the 6′ tall 15 year old boy to the rescue. When he realizes he need to push up on mommies bum, he freaks out a bit. “Mom, I don’t wanna touch your butt!” Poor child. lol But he does, and up I go.

I am blessed with a family full of love all around me. I am blessed with friends. Does this make it better? sometimes, yes. But, I’d rather be blessed with all of this and be healthy. This is the hand I was dealt, so I will play my hand and do my best to win. This, is life!

Blessings and Peace!

When the world say, “Give up.” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time!”

Ramblings

I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up…

Tracy6 Comments

So what do you do when you fall, can’t get up, and your only kid home has headphones on with loud music? And you’re not near the phone as a diff kid borrowed it and left it somewhere else. [why you got up in the first place to find the ringing phone] Well, welcome to my world!! rofl

I finally crawled to my chair and after about 5 minutes got in. Then rolled to my son and let him have the new rule…NO MORE HEADPHONES WHILE IN THE HOUSE!! He was mortified and felt awful. I was in tears and half laughing as whenever I fall I get that  “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial in my head.

I really think I need video on all the time as sometimes it is quite comical when I fall. The best is the crawl to find somewhere to try and get up on to get in my chair.

I no longer shower alone as I would be horrified if I fell and had to call for help. I want no paramedics seeing my wobbly bits all over the place. lol This is the reason for our [eventual] bathroom and doorway remodel.

My bathroom design [copied from my blog at fab40]

So, this is one of those ‘it could happen’ blogs.

As some of you know, for me to shower is a huge chore. Someone has to be home to help me in and out of the shower. Now mind you there is only about a 3 inch step over, but to me it’s a foot high. And the glass shower doors make it hard to maneuver into my shower chair. So, someone has to lift up my leg to get it over the 3 inch rise. And getting out… we will not even go there as that is a comical scene!! lol

Well, when we went to Carlsbad my parents set the hubz and I up in a hotel with a handicapped room. The shower are was the bomb!! The bathroom was basically one big shower. The floor sloped a bit so water ran into the shower area. There was a built in chair that was high enough for me to get on and off by myself. OMG, I was in hog heaven.

So, I have designed my lil shower area for me.

Right now the area contains the potty and the walk in shower stall. I can purchase a shower/tub for handicapped persons, but then Rog would not get the nice stand up showering he likes. And the one I like is in the 6000 dollar range. But, if you want the best, get the best!

So, my alternate idea…

We will gut the area, paint with moisture wear paint, then tile the whole area with a slight slope to the drain already there. During the tiling we will add handicapped bars which will enable me easy access to get up and down. We will also be adding a teak built in fold up and down chair for me.

Now, right now we are broke thanks to having to fix the broken AC. But, I am going to talk to a contractor I met at Lowe’s and get some pricing. The gutting and painting part we can do ourselves to save some money, but the rest we will need some help. Rog could do it, but he really does quite enough around here.

This is really exciting for me even though it is still a ‘it could happen’ idea. Aw hell, it’s a ‘it will happen’ idea.

It will be so cool to be able to shower all by myself and have one thing I am able to do alone!! You have no idea!! tongue out

Blessings and Peace!

Ramblings

May I ‘borrow’ your knee?

Tracy13 Comments

Finally after getting my mri on my knee and lower back [after being denied] I need knee surgery [again] and injections in my lower back. My left knee has a torn meniscus on the side and my back has had another disc which has degenerated further.

Here’s the kicker, my knee issue WILL happen again. I already had surgery on this knee once before for a torn front meniscus.  My left knee hyperextends back 20 degrees which makes it snap back and cause damage to my knee. So, why not just fix the problem causing this issue? Because I spend the majority of my time in a wheelchair and why does it really matter about my knee. Well, it matters to me! I use a walker in my home for as long as I can. I usually end up back in the chair due to knee pain from pushing myself. So, for me, it is a huge deal!!

I have chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis. SO WHAT? Miracles DO happen and maybe one day the cure will be found and I will walk again. So just fix my friggen knee!! The bad ligaments have nothing to do with my MS. It is from skating [roller and board] as a kid, working on concrete floors, and plain ole use before I got ill!

As far as the insurance company is concerned it is a ‘wasted’ surgery for me. As if they are saying, “Who cares, it’s not like she will walk right again anyways!” I can almost hear them laughing.

Well, I am not going to sit by and listen to them laugh, I will have the last laugh. If it means contacting my representatives, I will. If it means going public, I will. No one knows my future with my MS. So how the hell can they ASSume I will never walk again. I believe that one day the cure will come and it will still be able to help me. It is called HOPE!

Wait til they get a load of me…..

Blessings and Peace!

Ramblings

A great article from Truthout!

Tracy1 Comment

Truthout.org

Being a person who lives with a disabilty, healthcare is a very serious area for me. I have private insurance and still have to jump through hoops for care with my insurance company. Meanwhile the rates are raised consistently. It took 8 months to be paid for my power wheel-chariot. 8 MONTHS!!

Then, constantly denied medications and/or tests until my doctor calls their rent-a-doc to get permission! WTF is that about? I think my doctor knows a hell of a lot more than their over the phone, who the hells knows who they are, what are their credentials, rent-a-doc! This is ridiculous to me.

The article, IMHO, shows what all the problems are about. The big M word; Money!!

Blessings and Peace to all!

Craziness

Yesterday…

Tracy4 Comments

It was a weird day. lol Drama in a group I am in. So hate when people cannot admit they did something wrong and then turn it into ‘poor me’! There are certain tems and words that NO ONE should say or write. How hard is it to know this. Sadly I called the person on this offensive word and she just did not get it! I feel sad for her really. Oh well, maybe one day she will get it! Not my problem. She left and all is calm and friendly again!


My kids each had a friend over for the day. Six teenagers in the house!! I thought I would lose my mind, but it was a very nice evening. We got them all pizza, they jumped on the trampoline and played wii games. No fights…they are growing up!!

We have one friend still here and we keep hearing giggles and scream coming from the front room. I love the sounds! They are playing wii racing and having a blast!

I love when the days can just be lazy days and we can all hang out.
Hope everyone has had a nice weekend!!
A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.  ~Leo Buscaglia
Ramblings

Injustice!!

Tracy2 Comments

I am wondering how people sleep at night knowing they are ripping another person off!!! KARMA GOD!!!!! United Healthcare is a dis-reputable company if I have ever seen one!!!


Pacificare was going to pay 80% for my $4836.60 Wheel-chariot. United Health care bought them out and now they say they will not pay the 80% because it was not authorized through them. WTF!!! This started in November of 2008. They are not going to honor this?? They have the doctors scrip, the medical code, and all the receipts they asked for. This has been going with UHC since february 2009, and now they tell me this. 

They obviously knew this from the get-go, but they still made me jump through the hoops getting all the info for them. How the hell do these greedy F**KS sleep at night? Oh wait, they have no scruples! Sadly they think that most will let it go, walk away. They take advantage of the disabled, the elderly. I will not walk away when being wronged. 

Well…wait ’til they get a load of me!  

Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed ~ Mahatma Gandhi

    


Ramblings

In the Valley of Teenagers…

Tracy1 Comment

It’s official, our house has now been taken over by teenagers. 

The girls turned 13 yesterday and Austin is 15…

Our lives are now over as we knew them. Makeup, boys, girls, dating, driving… should we just pull our hair out now or wait for it to fall out. I thought it was supposed to get easier as they get older. WRONG!!! 

Now we have to worry about the boyfriends…hmmmmm they better be afraid, very afraid. Not of the daddy, but of the mommy! HA! We do not worry to much about the boy as he is respectful of girls. My worry is how the ‘girls’ will treat him. They had better be nice! lol

I am still wondering where the time has gone. The past 13 years went by in a flash. It seems like yesterday they were reaching up asking to be picked up. Now the are reaching out asking for money! lol 

A new phase has started, a new beginning. Isn’t that what life is about?
Blessings!

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.  ~Franklin P. Jones
Ramblings

A Couple of knitting fools……

TracyLeave a comment
There are a couple of amazing blogs everyone should see.
Do you knit? Do you like knitted items?
Then these are the blogs for you.

First up is Susie. She is an amazing knitting fool! lol 
She made the most adorable fingerless hand warmers for my dd’s and me. I am truly in awe of her talent.

Next is Beverly. I was her first interview for handmade news and she did a fabulous job. She also knits and I have my eye on a cute lil purse in her etsy shop.

So, do yourself a favor and drop by their blogs.
You will be glad you did.

A good friend is cheaper than therapy.  ~Author Unknown
Ramblings

I officially feel old!!

Tracy2 Comments

I had to order compression socks today. I am having bad leg swelling due to the fact I sit for so long. I got two pair of knee highs and one pair of thigh highs. oooo lala lol


I am hoping this works as when they start to swell it can be painful. It feels like my legs are going to explode. My neuro checked for blood clots and there were none. So, hopefully, this will work for me. Kind of sucks though as I am more of a barefoot kind of girl! lol

I’ll let ya know how they work out for anyone needing this as well.
And and update on my interview:

http://knittersrestaurant.blogspot.com/

This is Beverly’s blog, my interviewer. She is an awesome knitter. You should check out her etsy store. She also added a lil diddy ’bout my interview in her blog. So far I am the number one interview. woo hoo She is an awesome interviewer. Also check out handmade news to read more of her interviews.