anger · boredom · confession · Darkness · Death · Depression · falling · family · FUCK · health · healthcare · HELL · hope · lonliness · mindless-thoughts · multiple sclerosis · new year · primary progressive MS · Ramblings · RANDOM · sadness · sarcasm · strength · stupid_stuff

Happy New Year 2018

65041E5D-1C67-4A85-B6A7-06D09B848B18

 I guess it’s better late than never. 2018… The only change for me will be that I will progress. I’m a realist, I have to be. I still hope every day. Yet, hope can become very paralyzing.  As most people now, I was diagnosed in August 1997. My second opinion specialist said it began in 1986 and that I am primary progressive. In reality I’ve had this my whole life. I was genetically predisposed for it. I can look back and see issues I had from the time I was little and through my teen years into adulthood. It lay dormant for a very long time. I guess when it showed up, it needed to make itself known by literally taking away everything I held/hold dear.

But, seriously, what you gonna do? I literally can’t “do” anything by myself.  I try to keep A happy face because nobody wants to hear the truth. And that’s OK, I probably wouldn’t want to hear it either. So really, what are you gonna do when you end up like this. Basically you just have to take it. I cry so much I could end the drought. 😂  No, seriously, I could. LOL You just have to find the humor.

It’s just that some days there is no humor to be found. It’s been four years and three months now that I have been confined to a bed. I get up for doctors appointments and for showers and that’s about it. The pain is so intense that if I sit for too long… I’m better off in bed.

That’s all I have right now. Happy fucking new year! I’ve just got nothing.

Peace ✌️

 

 

family · hope · love · new year · RANDOM · Research

Sisters missing a brother they never got to know…

Can you help, will you help…

This is a link to their story. Sisters seek brother who was adopted in 1971

I know there are times that maybe adoptees do not want to be found. I do not believe this is one of those times. I feel, in my heart, that he would love to know how missed and loved he has been for so long.

This is a New Year, one that I hope will bring a family back together. Siblings are the most important part of a family unit. Let’s help these sisters find this piece of the puzzle that has been missing for so long.

 

xx, Tracy...