Author Archives: Tracy

About Tracy

A day in the life of a mommy, wife, daughter, sister, aunt and friend with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis! I'm a 40 something mom of 3. Married to an awesome man for 18 years. I love creating things; graphics, jewelry. My family and my friends are my life. I try to be positive...it can be very hard some days, but in the end it is worth it. Blessings!
April 14, 2012

Where is the rock for me to crawl under?

By Tracy

I’ve been trying so hard to get out out of  the ‘whatever’ mood I’m in. I’ve been blogging [duh], updating my jewelry shop[s], tweeting and pinning like a mad woman… but I just can’t seem to shake the blahs. I just wanna crawl under a rock!

hiding...

Tomorrow is the MSWalk2012 and I’m so not feeling it. My legs have not been cooperating. Even being in a wheel-chariot all the time the legs have issues. I’ve been getting the shakes, and from sitting all the time, serious ankle swelling. Not liking ‘kankles’!! :-P Kind of sucks when you have to sit and then you get issues from it. **SMH** It hurts when the legs swell and embarrassing when they just start shaking all over the place. Hubby calls it ‘the rhythm’ and always asks if I wanna dance! Dork! lol I’m fighting between dealing with pain and embarrassment, to the guilt feeling of not going. My team, Tracy’sMSkateers are the best. They had a big ole bake sale at NBC/Universal yesterday to raise money for our team. Think they raised over 1000.00!! Woot Woot! I feel like if I don’t go I’m letting them down. I really want to go, but really not a fan of pain. I even bought a cute orange shirt for the walk…

I’m going to confess something I have not really touched on in the past. I hate me! I really do not like going out in to public due to the all the weight I have gained since being in my wheel-chariot. I was once tall [6'] and skinny. Now I’m short [4'4" in my wheel-chariot] and huge. I have gained almost 60 pounds and I hate the way I look. I try to keep away from mirrors as I get depressed. I will take responsibility that I sometimes eat what I shouldn’t, but most days I eat right. It’s so hard to lose weight when you are immobile. I’m embarrassed by my weight, and prefer hiding out at home. I know the extra weight is not helping my MS either. It truly has nothing to do with what others think… it’s all about what I think. So in a nutshell… I hate what I have become.

xx, Tracy...

14 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in anger, confession, Darkness, Depression, FUCK, lonliness, multiple sclerosis, Pain, Ramblings, RANDOM, sadness, Wheelchair

April 13, 2012

A Coffee IV!! Yes please…

By Tracy

YES! ty Frannie

This is what I’m talkin’ about!! Perfect for my port! :-P

4 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in mindless-thoughts, Ramblings, sarcasm, silly

April 13, 2012

Well slap my ass and color me Orange!! MS Walk 2012!!

By Tracy

Yup it’s that time again. I seriously have slacked off this year with the promoting of the walk. My walk is this Sunday, April 15 at the Rose Bowl.

I roll so no one will ever have to hear the words, “You have MS!” No child should have to watch their mommy slowly lose her abilities. No child should have to see their mommy be taken away in an ambulance. No mommy should have to explain to their children why she can’t get out of bed, why she can’t drive them places, why she can’t play with them. (Daddies and others also have MS, but this is what has happened to me) MS is a family disease, not only the person with MS is affected.

My fabulous team, Tracy’s MSKateer’s, is comprised of the best people ever from NBC/Universal. Best looking team too! ;-)

If you are able to help, please click on the banner below and donate to help find the cure. If you are not able, please share my page and/or blog as maybe someone you know is able to donate. 

Click the banner to go to my page! xx

I hope for the day when I can get out of my wheel-chariot. If that doesn’t come for me, I hope with research no one else has to ever be in a WC again.

xx, Tracy...

2 comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in health, hope, medical, multiple sclerosis, RANDOM, Wheelchair

April 12, 2012

I left my heart in San Francisco…

By Tracy

Well, not really. I was born in San Mateo and lived in San Jose for a bit. Do you know the way to San Jose? I do!

My heart will be in San Francisco as my dd [darling daughter] is on her way there with her HS Band.

Photo by Daniel Schwen

She’s a traveling fool. Last year she went to NY and now SF. By the time she graduates she’ll be well travelled. We hope every year we can afford to send her on these band trips, as these are the times she will always remember. I so hope she has a fabulous time. She needs the break, and this is just what the doctor ordered!

Can’t wait for some pics and to see what she brings me back… hmmmm, she’d better get me a gift! ;-)

Off for now! Peace out!

6 comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in family, Holiday, RANDOM

April 11, 2012

The Face of Dog Fighting!!

By Tracy

This is Nathan.

the face of dog dog fighting

This is from toanimalrescue

04.10.12 NATHAN…this is what a victim of dog fighting looks like. Just picked up from the FW shelter and on the way to the vet. We are full , full, full but we could NOT turn away from this dog. So we will be asking for all the help we can get. Here is my update to the shelter posting: Judy Obregon from TAO rescue has picked up this dog and he is currently on the way to the vet. She has named the dog Nathan and she will be updating soon, but now transport to the vet and vet attention takes priority. His condition is shocking, Judy says he looks to have lost a nostril . We are asking for pledges to be honored and donations to be made to him either on the TAO wall donation button,which is at the top of the page. www.facebook.com/taoanimalrescue Initially, we requested that donations can be made directly to the vet but his office has now been inundated with calls asking about his condition, but few donations so the vet has now asked that donations be made directly to us or mailed to him. Let us know if you need his mailing address.. Please keep in mind that he may need to see another vet for surgical repair . Thank you.

——————————————

Nathan didn’t make it through surgery.

RIP Nathan, I’m so sorry the humans did this to you!

Does this make you angry? Does it make you care? Does it make you sick to your stomach???? GOOD, I hope it does!! Wake up World and help put an end to Dog Fighting!! We NEED to take a stand.

If you know this is going on near you, call the authorities! Turn the sick, small minded, weak, cowardice, psychopaths in and make them pay for this horrific crime!!! The laws need to change. The monsters need to do serious time. Michael [small dick] Vick was only charged with illegal gambling. Even though, with his own two grimy hands, he took the life of hundreds of dogs. Beating, drowning, shooting them. And then he got his job back in the NFL!!! WTF… how is that possible. Guess being rich gets charges reduced eh!!

When I saw Nathan had passed my tears would not stop flowing. PLEASE, I beg you, get involved!

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” -Mahatma Gandhi

How great is your Nation???

6 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Darkness, Depression, Fear, FUCK, HELL, Pain, sarcasm

April 11, 2012

Srsly… May I please have my bed back!

By Tracy

nuff said! lol

5 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Ramblings, RANDOM

April 11, 2012

Ummm, is that my boob?

By Tracy

Roger reminded of the best part of my port surgery… at least the funniest part!

While being prepped for the procedure it was a bit cold in the room. I was being covered and all of a sudden I felt a tad chilly on my right side as if something was hanging out! Well, I knew exactly what was hanging out. :-P I cleared my throat and asked the tech if something was ‘uncovered’. He quietly said yes. As it seemed he was a tad embarrassed, I explained to him that it was ok. Seriously, since giving birth in a room full of people, my modesty has done flown out the window!!

Peace out… for now! mwaaaaahhh

2 comments   |  tags: , | posted in FUNNY, mindless-thoughts, Religion, sarcasm, silly, stupid_stuff

April 10, 2012

OMG, he’s cuttin’ my neck open…

By Tracy

That was my reaction when my port was put in a few months back.

Let me backtrack a bit. In February I had a port put in my chest. With the monthly  2 hour Tysabri infusions it was the best option. Me ole veins are gone and sticking me each time was getting painful and harder to do. So cool, a port, a lil contraption with a tube under my skin in my chest going in to a vein. Easy peasy, right?

First problem when we get there is no ‘twilight’ sleep or meds, as, well, no veins for an I.V. Hence the need for the port. But it’s all good! The area will be numbed up and I’ll get a shot of Ativan [not that it would work on me]. I finally get wheeled in and the doctor comes in. He looks at the area for the port, then lifts the cover from my face. He says from his charts he assumed I’d be older but when he saw my skin and how ‘young’ it looked he had to see me. ummm hmmm smooth talker! lol Meanwhile Ativan not kickin’ in… they proceed to give me some injections in my chest to numb it up! OUCH! But then he injects my nck!! Um, WTF why are you injecting my neck. **shivers. Meanwhile Ativan not kickin’ in… He starts the incision into my chest, no real pain just pressure. Then I feel my neck getting cut. Okay, I speak up. “Why are you cutting my neck?” He asks me if I understood the procedure. I told him that I was told it was a a lil contraption with a tube under my skin in my chest going in to a vein. He explains it in a bit more detail. He tells me how the lil contraption [the port] goes under the skin in my chest, then a tube is brought up through my neck, around and down towards the heart into a vein. Okay then!! I guess it’s too late to turn back now! ;-)  Meanwhile Ativan not kickin’ in…

All in all, it wasn’t too bad. I hung out in recovery for a bit and then we headed home. On the ride home… the Ativan finally kicked in!! Go figure. lol

on the way home

BAD reaction to the tape and bandages. owie

today

I figure, dudes dig chicks with scars right! :-P I tensed my neck a bit so you can see the tube going up through my neck! Cool right. When I do this it freaks out my kids!! lol

Peace out all!

16 comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Hospital, multiple sclerosis, Pain, Ramblings, RANDOM

April 10, 2012

It’s a Dog’s Life

By Tracy

Sometimes I wonder if my rescue babies realize they are safe now! I know I would love to be a ‘dog’ in my home. Take over the bed, get treats and love all day. But, I still wonder if they know how loved they are.

Charlie, Dexter and Chance

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” -Mahatma Gandhi

This quote is so very true! Like children, we are the animals only voice! My foster fail ;-) Charlie still shakes and goes into the submissive pose. I hold her and tell her that no one will EVER hurt her again because if they tried they would have to deal with a bat toting wheel-chariot mama! WAKE up World, we need to speak for those who can’t!!

nuff said!

Hug and love your pet today and, if you are able, check out your local shelter and save a life today!

Peace out!

6 comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in hope, love, Wheelchair

April 9, 2012

I’m all the drugs you need!

By Tracy

Thanks to the fabulous Mz. Vicki Day for this! ;-)

5 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Ramblings, RANDOM

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