Author Archives: Tracy
It figures!!
Obviously I’ve had a crappy time lately. DOH!
So this morning i pulled my ‘big girl’ panties on… really I did. Wouldn’t you know it I get the headache from Hell and my back is killing me. [had a little fall] Seriously!! Makes me wonder what the fuck I did in a previous life! rofl
And now, to top it off, INSOMNIA yet again. So off to take some meds [yeehaw] and hopefully sleep will come… eventually!!
Peace out!
Lost and all alone…
Well, I’m still here. Not in a blogging mood lately. Hard to type and I get so jumbled that nothing comes out right. I’m just glad that I’m fantastic when it comes to ‘acting’ happy. I’m so tired of all the, ‘life is good’. ‘you are in control’, and blah blah blah. MS took away my ‘control’. Please don’t tell me it could be worse, as it is getting worse. I’m sure others hate their illness just like I hate mine. I think boredom sets in and i get depressed. Unless you live in my ’chair’ in the prison that is my home, you cannot understand. Being trapped like a caged animal is paralyzing…
I know some of my friends know this feeling as they are in the same boat as me. I try to find the good and be upbeat. I can tell you that it takes a ton of energy to do that. I’m so tired of fighting this battle.
If I sound bitter, it’s because I am bitter. Life is NOT good… no always. Some of us fight struggles that no one can ever comprehend. Those are the ones that usually say ‘it could be worse’. **F bomb alert** Well fuck them. Their biggest problem is a job they hate or the sniffles. If I sound bitter, it’s because I am bitter. And as for prayers, do NOT get me started. My girl Ruby and I were told if we prayed right we would be healed!! Well hot damn, I’m on my fucking knees. I have no problem for those why want to pray for me… just don’t be surprised when it doesn’t work.
Hopefully this’tude’ will pass soon. It usually does. But, I’m not going to feel bad for being pissed, angry or bitter anymore. There are some that make me feel like I should just ‘get over it’! To you I say, ‘Let’s trade lives.’ To anyone out there dealing with chronic illness and any of these feelings, just know it IS ok to feel this way and vent. Do not let anyone make you feel bad if you do. Until they walk, err roll, a mile in my [our] chairs they can just STFU!!
Peace out!
In Sickness and in Health
Dedicated to my husband…
When I heard this song by Chris Medina and watched the video of his beautiful lady, I knew this song was meant for my hubby.
I was diagnosed with MS three years into our marriage, right after the birth of our twins. Now wheelchair bound with many other issues due to the MS, my husband stays by my side.
I am one of the blessed ones…
R.I.P. Sweet Sadie!
Over twelve years ago we brought Sadie into our home. I was in a Petco looking for kitty litter and there she was. She was being adopted out. They said she was around two and had been found dumped way out in the desert. She was a skinny, goofy looking lil girl. She reminded me of a newborn foal with long skinny legs and huge paws. She had Shepard, Chow and Chesapeake Retriever in her. [heinz 57 I say] She fit in our family like a glove. Over night she grew up into an 80 pound big girl. She was our protector and our friend.
Sadie loved being outside and would sit in the middle of the lawn in the pouring rain or the 100 degree heat. She was the pack leader.
What I will remember most about her, is that she was gentle and a big love bug. She was and will always be close to my heart. She will be coming home again to sit next to Beau and Emmy on my mantle.
She is now free and no longer in pain. She can run again and I’m sure she is already chasing Beau. I know he met her at the bridge. She is forever young again.
We love you Sadie and miss you so very much. You will be forever in our hearts…
——————————————————————-
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Their bright eyes are intent; Their eager body quivers. Suddenly he/she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, their legs carrying him/her faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Author unknown…
Stupid things STUPID people say…
“Be glad you are not in a wheelchair due to a car accident or the like. There are many paraplegics in wheelchairs because of this. This is something they did not ask for.”
This was in response to someone in a wheelchair due to illness. I was like WTF! Are you insane or just ignorant. This person needs a lobotomy… or maybe they have had one already. Do they think we asked for the illness that put us into a wheelchair? I feel as awful for those in accidents as I do for myself and others with a crippling illness!
Really people, think before you open your stupid mouth!
I’m out! Peace!
Chris Medina – What Are Words
This is an amazing song of true love and commitment! A very special meaning to me…
Chris Medina is my new Idol!
2011 American Idol castoff Chris Medina – the guy who touched everyone’s hearts and possibly made us shed a little tear with his heartbreaking love story about his girlfriend who currently suffers from brain injury due to a car accident – is the first example of the new partnership between American Idol and Universal Music Group. Chris Medina has been given the opportunity to release his debut single online. “What Are Words” which hit iTunes on February 24th is a beautiful ballad, inspired in his AI story, written by Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins.
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you’ll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone
And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I’m meant to be where I am
And I’m gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I’m gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most
What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
And I’m gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
I’m forever keeping my angel close.
———————————–
Love and Light!
Another quiet Sunday…
I hate the quiet all the time. It’s 105 degrees here and I so want to go outside and get in the pool and just swim. We purchased a 15′ above ground pool 7 years ago. In the beginning it was not a problem getting in… now no can do. I have not been able to get in for about 3 years now. We even purchased a dual staircase ladder to make it easier for me. Alas, it was good for a while. I so miss the sun and even the heat. I miss the water the most.
I truly have become the “Vampire Mom’! The night is my friend!! moooowhaaaaaa
See, I become one at Halloween. Love scaring the little ones!!
Now to ramble… I LOVE Apple Support!! My MacBook Pro power adapter is messing up. Sometimes it charges, sometimes it doesn’t. So I went to Apple support, online, and set up a phone call for this morning at 10 am. On a Sunday even!! The CS rep, Greg, got me all hooked up with a new one coming overnight mail. Then all I have to do is send the old one back in the pre-paid box and I’m done. So glad I purchased the Apple Care protection. I love my MacBook Pro!! The best computers ever… and they’re pretty too! lol
Hoping everyone is having a great day!









