Daily Archives: March 14, 2010

Making it Through the Rain…

This blog is my blog. It is for me to share my life with my friends and my family and anyone who has an interest. It is to tell the stories of a crazy lady living with MS…moi!

When all the crap happened to me at the hospital I used it, MY blog, to reach out to my readers for support through a time that encompassed my world in a not so good way. I never wanted nor asked for your sympathy or pity. That’s not what I want. I needed…NEEDED support and friendship. That is why I shared my experience with you all.

This past year I have progressed more than any year previous, but still found the humor and tried to always add something in my blogs for a giggle. Even in my Hell Hospital blogs I tried to add humor.

During my stay in the big house, I was informed that I have acquired 3 new active lesions on my spine. With all the hospital terror and the issues of late, I put that aside and put it to the back of my mind. I am terrified of what these lesions could mean. No one can really give me a definitive answer. Is this the reason I can no longer use my walker and rely on my wheel-chariot now more than ever? Am I on my way to total paralysis? Again, no one knows. But either way I will deal with it as it comes. My inner spirit is strong.

There may be days I will be down, happens when you have a chronic illness that takes from you every day. But, as I have said before, NEVER confuse my tears or sadness for weakness as you will be wrong. I am strong in mind, heart, and soul. I do make it through the rain EVERY day of my life. I  do this with the help of my family and my friends that accept me for who I am and not what they want me to be.

I was told I look for sympathy and feel sorry for me cards [whatever the fuck that meant]. In this case this was one of the ‘the pot totally calling the kettle black’ things. Sympathy and the feel sorry me BS is something I have no time for.

This is a blog about a woman who lives with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. Of course there will be blogs that might be a tad depressing. DUH!!! But, you will always find HOPE in my writings. I end every blog with ‘Blessings and Hope’! Why, because there always is Hope!!

I am only me, and will no longer apologize for that! No one should ever apologize for being who they are.

So, here it is, take me as I am and I will do the same for you. If you feel I have wronged you, talk to me, come to me and I will show you the same courtesy. I am not a liar as I have no reason to lie.  I am not a manipulative person, but have found that many have tried to manipulate me. Do not do it again!!

I will now be back to my former sarcastic, a bit crazy, mentoring blogging in hopes that maybe I can help someone in a similar situation. Maybe we can help each other. And btw, I do still make some wicked tasty lemonade from the lemons life has given me.

Thank you for being here and reading me. As new details arise regarding the hell hospital situation, I will update. [if you do not want to read em, then move the fuck on] :-)

And, as always…

Blessings and Hope!!


Wanting me to be real…

WARNING!!!! “F” bomb alert!!

So for many years I hid my pain in jokes, sarcasm and laughter. It was easier for me and less upsetting for those around me. So many people told me, “Be Real” “Tell the truth about your pain” “Ask for help”…

So, in the past year or so I tried this route only to have it thrown back in my face. Now, when I show my pain, being real, I’m told it’s for sympathy, poor me shit. REALLY! Fuck off please. I have never asked for anyone’s pity, sympathy or the poor me pour me a drink bullshit! Yet for years I listened to others pain and tried to help in any way I could. Now I’m the bad person. Again I say Fuck off please.

Then I got the, I’ll show people the real you, I’ll copy and paste emails. Really, go ahead doctor up your emails. you are the only one that will look like a childish buffoon. As for the ‘people’ who talk the shit and tell the lies…come forward, say it to me. But no, you just block me as you know damn well I will say it to your face, no need to lie or go behind any ones back. That’s all of your jobs. And for those who talked all the shit to this person, de-friend me, block, stay the fuck away from me. You are liars and pathetic. So, you all deserve one another. And if it’s who I think it all is, stop emailing me as well with your BS about this said person. Just leave me the fuck alone. Get rid of my email, my phone numbers etc., oh and grow the FUCK up! You all know who you are and you all know the ‘real’ truth.

I truly hate being this person, this angry person. And after this, hopefully these 2 faced ignorant assholes will back the fuck off and move on. I have not changed and am the same person I have always been. Love me or leave me. Ask me a question and I will tell you the truth.

I am sorry for those reading this and seeing me being this angry person, but I am so tired of being certain people’s punching bag. I have enough of my own problems, health and otherwise, so it is time this was said. I will not allow any of you to hurt me and cause me to become ill due to all the stress. And if you feel the need to comment here again, it won’t come through. If any of ya feel the need to email me, it won’t be read. So don’t waste your time or energy. Just FUCK off please.

I know the person I am and the friend I am, maybe you should look in the mirror and figure out who you are. Remember each time you point your little finger at me there are 3 pointing back at you.

I pray for you and hope that one day you will find the happiness and peace you need. I have my peace and my happiness in my family and my real friends. So really there is no need for you or room for you anymore.

When it all falls apart…I won’t be here next time. Once bitten, twice shy!!

And now I am done and will be back to my REAL self free from the toxic people that have no place in my world!

****************

Blessings and Hope!!

Damn it feels good to purge!!!


I Love Lucy!!

Random post of my Lucy collection:

I Love Lucy Mattel Dolls [new one arriving soon], lap tray, wall tins, coffee mug, and a checkers game [behind the dolls]

I have all the Mattel Dolls minus the Ethel Santa!!! Someday…lol

Blessings and Hope!


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